In which I almost identify with a much-vilified German film-maker, and discuss words ending in 'o'.
It's easy to forget that Meatloaf has a cameo in BloodRayne. Sure, he wears a distinctive and memorable Very Bad Wig, and smears some blood on a naked female breast during his five minutes of screen-time, but all of the wigs are Bad in this film. I think that's the subtext of the plot: If you're wearing a Bad Wig, you're going to die. Horribly. Oh, and I'm now convinced that Michael Madsen is truly the Julia Roberts half of that "Sibling Acting Talent" mystery. Virginia Madsen can act, as Eric Roberts can act, but it's Michael and Julia who get the better gigs, despite being lumps of talent-free wood. Why? Dunno. It's a mystery...
Anyway, enough about the film itself (probably too much, in fact), because this is really about Dinner with Uwe Boll, the "Special Feature" on the just-released (maybe it escaped...) Region 2 DVD of BloodRayne - Live To Kill. Kill To Live. that I mentioned here: http://sensaes.livejournal.com/525558.html and which is also available to download - in chunks - here: http://uk.media.movies.ign.com/media/574/574465/vids_1.html (many thanks to trailer_spot for the link).
The dinner itself lasts for about 45 minutes (it's mercifully edited, so the plates of Thai food just...disappear at one point), and is one of the most insightful and revealing interrogations ever conducted by two IGN lickspittle brown-nosers I have ever seen. Nevertheless, despite the questions being about as probing as someone asking Mussolini where he buys his fabulous socks, Herr Doktor Boll comes up trumps as a talker, again and again. He's also got a terrific sense of humour, which helps to counterbalance (somewhat) the plentiful hints that he's not quite getting why some people have "problems" with his films. (Clue: It's the dialogue, Uwe. And the seemingly random cutting to sweeping vistas of Romanian countryside for no readily apparent reason. And the fact that most of your actors seem to be completely bewildered most of the time, and unsure of what they're saying and doing, or even why they're there in the first place.)
However, when the interviewers did finally get around to the small matter of Boll's unpopularity with (seemingly) the world's entire critical movie-going public, the much put-upon director/producer/writer singled-out a culprit, and it was at this point that my heart went out to him, and I experienced a moment of epiphany: it's all the Internet's fault, damn its anonymous, hyperlinked badness!
It turns out that people have been impersonating Uwe Boll on message boards (although, since Boll claims never to visit these boards, this news must come via lawyers or something), and saying Very Bad Things. I haven't checked, but presumably these evil imposters must be trotting out variations on the theme of "Hi, my name is Uwe Boll, and my films are sh*t. Please kick me."
Regular readers here may, by now, be sensing why I had a touch of fellow feeling for the guy upon hearing this news, because the Internet can be a freaky f*cking phenomenon at times, and just as folks say that everyone's got a doppelgänger in this world, so too are some of us "blessed" with an occasional twisted fruitcake online Mini-Me. (Mine is that weirdo wannabe sensenotsensaes/sensaesnot/ideationbaby, who set up accounts using the name "sensaes" on Blogger and InsaneJournal, and probably a few other places. Jeez, what it is to have "fans", huh?) It shouldn't - and hasn't - impacted upon my judgement of Boll's work as a film-maker, because despite all the opprobrium heaped upon 'em, his movies do find audiences, and occasionally contain glimpses of talent (and, er, bloody breasts), but this revelation engendered a degree of sympathy (if nothing else) at this end. So keep at it, Doktor Boll - and don't let the Internet f*ckwits get you down. Just...let someone else give your scripts the once-over every once in a while, eh? Preferably before you commit 'em to celluloid... ;o)
______________________________________
I'm not quite done with Uwe Boll here yet, because one of his production collaborators is called Max Wanko, and I'm not the only Englishman to find that faintly hilarious - http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,,2020028,00.html
From Wanko, to "distro"...
Distro.
How the Hell did a word like "distribution", in the context of various forms of the Linux operating system, ever get shortened to "distro"? Where did they get that 'o' from? Why isn't it "distri"? Any why should I even care?
Just another mystery...
Or "mistro".
G'night!
__________________________________
Edit: Noting multiple recent complaints from people, I'm leaving the Comments open on this post. Although I would point out that I did the same thing last Tuesday, and most of you managed to restrain yourselves or stick to e-mail. ;o)
Anyway, enough about the film itself (probably too much, in fact), because this is really about Dinner with Uwe Boll, the "Special Feature" on the just-released (maybe it escaped...) Region 2 DVD of BloodRayne - Live To Kill. Kill To Live. that I mentioned here: http://sensaes.livejournal.com/525558.html and which is also available to download - in chunks - here: http://uk.media.movies.ign.com/media/574/574465/vids_1.html (many thanks to trailer_spot for the link).
The dinner itself lasts for about 45 minutes (it's mercifully edited, so the plates of Thai food just...disappear at one point), and is one of the most insightful and revealing interrogations ever conducted by two IGN lickspittle brown-nosers I have ever seen. Nevertheless, despite the questions being about as probing as someone asking Mussolini where he buys his fabulous socks, Herr Doktor Boll comes up trumps as a talker, again and again. He's also got a terrific sense of humour, which helps to counterbalance (somewhat) the plentiful hints that he's not quite getting why some people have "problems" with his films. (Clue: It's the dialogue, Uwe. And the seemingly random cutting to sweeping vistas of Romanian countryside for no readily apparent reason. And the fact that most of your actors seem to be completely bewildered most of the time, and unsure of what they're saying and doing, or even why they're there in the first place.)
However, when the interviewers did finally get around to the small matter of Boll's unpopularity with (seemingly) the world's entire critical movie-going public, the much put-upon director/producer/writer singled-out a culprit, and it was at this point that my heart went out to him, and I experienced a moment of epiphany: it's all the Internet's fault, damn its anonymous, hyperlinked badness!
It turns out that people have been impersonating Uwe Boll on message boards (although, since Boll claims never to visit these boards, this news must come via lawyers or something), and saying Very Bad Things. I haven't checked, but presumably these evil imposters must be trotting out variations on the theme of "Hi, my name is Uwe Boll, and my films are sh*t. Please kick me."
Regular readers here may, by now, be sensing why I had a touch of fellow feeling for the guy upon hearing this news, because the Internet can be a freaky f*cking phenomenon at times, and just as folks say that everyone's got a doppelgänger in this world, so too are some of us "blessed" with an occasional twisted fruitcake online Mini-Me. (Mine is that weirdo wannabe sensenotsensaes/sensaesnot/ideationbaby, who set up accounts using the name "sensaes" on Blogger and InsaneJournal, and probably a few other places. Jeez, what it is to have "fans", huh?) It shouldn't - and hasn't - impacted upon my judgement of Boll's work as a film-maker, because despite all the opprobrium heaped upon 'em, his movies do find audiences, and occasionally contain glimpses of talent (and, er, bloody breasts), but this revelation engendered a degree of sympathy (if nothing else) at this end. So keep at it, Doktor Boll - and don't let the Internet f*ckwits get you down. Just...let someone else give your scripts the once-over every once in a while, eh? Preferably before you commit 'em to celluloid... ;o)
______________________________________
I'm not quite done with Uwe Boll here yet, because one of his production collaborators is called Max Wanko, and I'm not the only Englishman to find that faintly hilarious - http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,,2020028,00.html
From Wanko, to "distro"...
Distro.
How the Hell did a word like "distribution", in the context of various forms of the Linux operating system, ever get shortened to "distro"? Where did they get that 'o' from? Why isn't it "distri"? Any why should I even care?
Just another mystery...
Or "mistro".
G'night!
__________________________________
Edit: Noting multiple recent complaints from people, I'm leaving the Comments open on this post. Although I would point out that I did the same thing last Tuesday, and most of you managed to restrain yourselves or stick to e-mail. ;o)