Poll Answers, no. 4....
How did John and I meet? Well, I started working where I do now in 1989. I worked in the same building that the Catalina ferry boats left from (on the other side of the bridge where the Long Beach Aquarium is). At that time the Chancellor's Office for the California State University was right next door. Many of us would go to their cafeteria for lunch. The place was run by Gunnar, a legally-blind man from the Department of Rehab. It was always interesting paying for your food - you had to tell him what you had, and how much money you were giving him. I guess he depended on people's honesty.
We liked eating there, not because the food was all that good, but because there was a big round table that could seat most of us. We always had a good time, but because of the general subjects of biologist conversation, there was always a buffer zone of empty tables surrounding us.
The original cook was an older man, who was nice enough, but he would always start to freak out when the lunch rush began. When several people got in line, you could see him start to sweat, and soon he would start flubbing orders or completely forget about them. Why he didn't write them down, I don't know.
One day, we all came in, and there was a cheerful new guy with dark brown hair and a mustache behind the counter. He was fast and efficient, rarely messed up orders, and there were daily specials on the menu that hadn't been there before. He had a grin for everyone, but it seemed to me, he was trying to pick up on just about every female that walked in the door.
My friend ML got in a tiff with him once; she made some sarcastic remark about the food, and he topped her, which got her mad (I love her dearly, but she's always dished out and never been able to take it in return. "Quite Contrary" fits her as a middle name quite well). She retorted hotly, "I don't have to eat here, you know!"
"I don't have to serve you, either!" he returned, and took her food back.
She didn't speak to him for about a month.
I gradually got on friendlier terms with him. One time he told me he'd gotten a new (to him, anyway) Toyota MR2, and did I want to go for a ride. I politely declined. I told him it seemed like he was picking up on everyone, and he protested, "Hey, I'm just being friendly," but he did tone it down a bit after that.
After I'd been a scientific aide for two years, I found out about a job on the East Coast being a gillnet fishery observer, and I went back to New Hampshire for 8 months, going out on boats with commercial fishermen to see what kind of bycatch they; were getting with their cod and pollock. While I was there, I talked with ML every once in a while; nearly every time, she'd tell me "John keeps asking about you - he wonders when you're coming back."
Shortly before I left, I had taken the state biologist test and had gotten on the hiring list. Around Christmas I got an invitation for an interview - I was planning on going home for Christmas anyway, so that worked. I went back to New Hampshire for another month, and then got notice that Yes, I was Hired!
While I was in New Hampshire, I made a friend who, like me, was a Trekker. She accosted me in a mall because I was wearing a Trek T-shirt. She had started a local chapter of the International Federation of Trekkers (not to be confused with Starfleet Academy - they're rival organizations [oh my, who knew Star Trek fans are competitive!]), and when I returned to California, I asked around to see if anyone in my office would be interested in starting a chapter, too. It turned out quite a few people were - there were at least 10 people who wanted to get in on it. Amazing, huh, that a bunch of science nerds would admit to being such geeks. Of course, John was interested, too, but I suspect now he had an ulterior motive. I didn't think at the time it was me; he was dating other people at the time, and one of my sci aides told me he was scaring her (he's very direct, and some people think he's psychotic when they first meet him).
We started up this little fan club and I got all excited and organized a meeting a month, where we'd get together and gab, watch videos, and discuss business (what little there was, although we did collect dues and such) and an fun activity. We had a couple of camping trips, trips to the observatory, outings to movies etc. One of the rules from the national organization was that each chapter had to have two community service activities a year. Once we collected donations of supplies right after the Northridge quake, and once we helped the Amigos de Bolsa Chica clear the wetlands island where the least terns nest. There were a few more, but often John and I were the only ones to show up for community service activities.
One of our activities was a fossil hunt at a diatomaceous earth mine near Lompoc. Ray, one of our members, knew someone who worked there and would allow us to hunt for fossil fish. It was a good three hour drive to the place, and John asked if I wanted to carpool. I was reluctant at first, but I really didn't have anyone to carpool with, so I agreed. I wondered how we'd pass the time.
He picked me up at 5 am with a full thermos of coffee. It turned out we had more than Star Trek in common. I can't remember exactly what we talked about, but we did talked the entire way there. We spent a fun day looking for fish fossils, and found a few nice enough to bring home. Then we talked all way home too.
My office also had a softball team at the time, called the Sea Sluggers (what do you expect for a bunch of marine biologists?). We were in the novice section of the league, mostly just playing for fun, and John used to come to watch some of our games. After the fossil expedition, I had told ML that I was quite surprised to find John an intelligent conversationalist, and I'd quite enjoyed the trip with him. I saw her at the softball game later, whispering in his ear. I didn't think much of it, but I should've remembered she fancied herself something of a matchmaker. He asked if I wanted to go for coffee after the game. I guess that's when we started dating, which we did for about a year, although I kind of considered us to be more on friendly terms than romantic. I'm a bit hazy on things. I remember events, but not necessarily the order in which they occurred.
At that time I lived in Seal Beach with two guys, Juan and Ian. Juan had the unfortunate habit of drinking just to get drunk. He didn't even particularly enjoy the taste of alcohol, but he would drink 'til he puked every time, and he was often an aggressive, belligerent drunk as well. I remember one incident when an inebriated Juan was deliberately trying to pick a fight with John, who was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, admirably remaining the picture of calmness, while Juan was trying to get in his face. I finally got sick of it, and grabbed Juan by the scruff of the neck and shoved him out on the porch until he calmed down. John didn't tell me until several years later, that if I hadn't been there, Juan might have gotten shanked. It hadn't been that many years since he had been a very bad boy - he always carried a knife and was not afraid to defend himself with it.
At one point, I became convinced that John was not for me. He occasionally talked too much, and on those occasions, reminded me of my dad, although he was never quite that obnoxious. I tried to let him down gently, and told him we should start seeing other people. We still did things together though.
Finally, we made plans to go to the Irish Festival at Santa Anita, and afterwards go to see Jurassic Park with my family at my brother's in Culver City. When we started out, his MR2 broke a timing belt, luckily only a block or so from my house, but it was really frustrating for him. We took my truck up to our planned events, went to the movie, and then I got in an accident with my truck! I was turning left, and a kid ran a red light and crashed in to my driver's side fender. So we both had major car troubles that day.
I don't know if it was the stress of the car problems or what. Something changed that day, and that was the first night he stayed the night. I called in sick to work the next day. *Wink, wink*
Both my roommates soon after moved out to get married (I'll have to tell you about ML and Ian's strange little courtship somewhere else), and John and I moved into my parent's 22-ft. RV for a year. With two cats. And let me tell you, if that's not a test of compatibility, I don't know what is. Especially when your mother drives up and doesn't t expect him to be there.
So, there's a lesson for the guys here, I suppose. Sometimes persistence pays off.
;)
There you go, tenbones. It took me awhile - I hope it was worth the wait.