and this is what I'm going to add
I really like being tao. not that it's that big of a difference from not being tao, but it's nice to feel like I've actually found a religion that matches my beliefs. I believe in it. Not something I've been able to say about any form of christianity, islam, agnosticism or atheism, all things I've experimented with. It makes me happy and, surprise surprise, I like being happy.
There are certain people whom I would do everything in my power to get them out of my life. There are certain whom I would do everything in my power to keep them from leaving my life. Either way there's not much I can do about it. I've discovered in this past weekend that I really really love my aunt ange, my aunt sandy and my mother and that sarah is the bestest in every possible meaning of the word and I more than love her, I lurve her. yes it's dorky, no I don't care.
It was cool today which was nice because there was the moment of stepping out of the cold air and into the heated car. My baby sister ate four slices of pizza for dinner. My dad and I only had three each.
It's hard to find a path in life which doesn't involve constantly butting heads or arguing with those you love. It's specifically hard for me to maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship with all the members of my family, specifically, my mother and my father. I haven't questioned my mother since before I graduated, but my father has a penchant for making stupid ass decisions and I'm sick of it. I think it's time to deliver an ultimatum, but not until the end of this trip. I'll babysit one more fucking time (I have nothing against my sister, I love my sister more than I love almost any other people) and then I'll haul ass and I won't even think about coming back until thanksgiving. Possibly Christmas. We'll see. If he doesn't get a divorce it will be a long time before I spend the night here again. I know that if and when I want to visit, my aunts will find places for me.
Now that I've gone through all this, my mind feels emotionally dirty. I don't feel tao at all. I don't feel peaceful or tranquil, and that's the whole point. That's what we're I'm striving for here. I really hate dislike that woman. A lot.
But I smiled when I got an e-mail from the popsicle. So I'll reread that and tao it up.
peace
namaste
Michelle
P.S. Namaste: I honor that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.
There are certain people whom I would do everything in my power to get them out of my life. There are certain whom I would do everything in my power to keep them from leaving my life. Either way there's not much I can do about it. I've discovered in this past weekend that I really really love my aunt ange, my aunt sandy and my mother and that sarah is the bestest in every possible meaning of the word and I more than love her, I lurve her. yes it's dorky, no I don't care.
It was cool today which was nice because there was the moment of stepping out of the cold air and into the heated car. My baby sister ate four slices of pizza for dinner. My dad and I only had three each.
It's hard to find a path in life which doesn't involve constantly butting heads or arguing with those you love. It's specifically hard for me to maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship with all the members of my family, specifically, my mother and my father. I haven't questioned my mother since before I graduated, but my father has a penchant for making stupid ass decisions and I'm sick of it. I think it's time to deliver an ultimatum, but not until the end of this trip. I'll babysit one more fucking time (I have nothing against my sister, I love my sister more than I love almost any other people) and then I'll haul ass and I won't even think about coming back until thanksgiving. Possibly Christmas. We'll see. If he doesn't get a divorce it will be a long time before I spend the night here again. I know that if and when I want to visit, my aunts will find places for me.
Now that I've gone through all this, my mind feels emotionally dirty. I don't feel tao at all. I don't feel peaceful or tranquil, and that's the whole point. That's what we're I'm striving for here. I really hate dislike that woman. A lot.
But I smiled when I got an e-mail from the popsicle. So I'll reread that and tao it up.
peace
namaste
Michelle
P.S. Namaste: I honor that place in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.