[FIC] Lift - Sad Ending
Kakashi gulped for air when the words stopped coming for a moment, his head spinning and heart trying to pound itself out of his chest. He felt lighter, like some burden had been lifted from his shoulders, but he also felt immensely nervous. Gathering up all that was left from his sudden moment of rashness, the jounin turned around, to face Iruka’s back.
“But I can’t do it alone, I won’t do it alone,” Kakashi pressed, staring at the slope of chuunin’s neck and the long strands of hair he loved to run his fingers through, now tumbling all over the white pillow case,” even though I love you so much it makes me hurt so much to even think about it, if you don’t want to continue this relationship, I won’t force you stay. You can go, Iruka. If that’s what you want, you can leave and I won’t hold it back against you, but I refuse to be the only one to try mending this. I’m not strong enough for that.”
There, he had said it. Kakashi barely registered the crooked grin that had crept on his face during his confession, nor was he aware of the agitated glaze in his dark eye. All he knew that he had finally said it and now it was all up to Iruka.
But as the seconds started to crawl into minutes, the chuunin stayed still and with it Kakashi’s heart sank, shattered, everything at once and it hurt.
“I see,” the jounin murmured, smiling bitterly, “I guess it was too late. I’ll, I’ll start gathering my things tomorrow morning, okay?”
Kakashi hadn’t known it could hurt even more but when Iruka moved slightly, to make a miniscule nod or something, the emotional pain took a whole new level. He sighed, turning again to face the wall, not trying to think about the burning behind his scarred eye or the echoing feeling in his healthy one.
Behind him, Iruka was shaking but it could just be the cold night.
Take me high, make me fly in the blue sky
Take my fear, make it fly in this blue
** **
- Senna-chan
“But I can’t do it alone, I won’t do it alone,” Kakashi pressed, staring at the slope of chuunin’s neck and the long strands of hair he loved to run his fingers through, now tumbling all over the white pillow case,” even though I love you so much it makes me hurt so much to even think about it, if you don’t want to continue this relationship, I won’t force you stay. You can go, Iruka. If that’s what you want, you can leave and I won’t hold it back against you, but I refuse to be the only one to try mending this. I’m not strong enough for that.”
There, he had said it. Kakashi barely registered the crooked grin that had crept on his face during his confession, nor was he aware of the agitated glaze in his dark eye. All he knew that he had finally said it and now it was all up to Iruka.
But as the seconds started to crawl into minutes, the chuunin stayed still and with it Kakashi’s heart sank, shattered, everything at once and it hurt.
“I see,” the jounin murmured, smiling bitterly, “I guess it was too late. I’ll, I’ll start gathering my things tomorrow morning, okay?”
Kakashi hadn’t known it could hurt even more but when Iruka moved slightly, to make a miniscule nod or something, the emotional pain took a whole new level. He sighed, turning again to face the wall, not trying to think about the burning behind his scarred eye or the echoing feeling in his healthy one.
Behind him, Iruka was shaking but it could just be the cold night.
Take me high, make me fly in the blue sky
Take my fear, make it fly in this blue
** **
- Senna-chan