BOGGIDY BOGGIDY BOOGIDY BOOO!
Damn I rock, if I was to walk down the street and run into a mirror image of myself because I was cloaned, I'd hang out with me all day and then just for the hell of it I'd kill me and eat clone me, that way I'd become twice the awesome powers that I already have. ALL HAIL DAVE, DAVE IS LIFE, ALL HAIL DAVE, DAVE IS LIFE!.
Anyways I still have a shitty job at a shitty gas station but atleast everybody thinks I'm crazy there, such as "Hey dave, if there was a clone of you, what would you do with it" my answer, defenatly have sex with it. Because wouldent it just be considered masturbation, but actually I wouldent have sex with it because I don't dig guys but the mere thought of that conundrum, thats right, conundrum, would cause the universe to explod, yes, explod like in bionic commando the best game ever.
So I'm eating my hamburger helper out of the pan, with a big wooden spoon and drinking grape juice out of the carton, damn straight thats how awesome I am, and I've come up with the master plan of how to take over oklahoma. First, I'd have to build myself a frankenstein monster, so I decided I'll have to dig up some dead guy from the cemetary, woudlent have to be fresh infact I'd rather have the bones themselves because bones kick ass. And then I'll have to...Graft...on some knives and a gun using silly putty and playdoe, the worlds strongest combonation, and if you don't belive me than you should make that mixture and hang off of it from an overpass......and if you do fall than you'll be dead and you can't tell anyone that it didn't work so eitherway I win, stupid bastards. And then I'll have to figure out a way to animate it, I was thinking that perhaps I could strike it with lightening but that is far to difficult and building a giant electrode to do it is out of the question, so I'll have to get a large bucket of poop and vomet and microwave each piece seperately so that it is able to become alive from the..special microwave...dna... and stuff. Than onto fingers, I was thinking that perhaps I could use spoons and forks but thats way to easy to aquire, so I'll need the right turn signal from JFK's last limo ride, the Hub cap to the DC area sniper car, Osama Bin Laddens beard shaving and of course, to knock it off into its true, evil form of debachury, Opera winfery's Tampon. That my friends, would be the evilist thing upon this earth.
I hear that when Opera takes her tampon out she has to incinerate it or blast it into space strapped to an nuclear weapon for if it should touch the earth than the waters will run black with evil and the sky will...uhh.....explod, yes, explod! So I'll have to figure out a way to sneak into her house and steal it, a common man would think that he could just break in but I have an idea. I'll have to use a trojan horse like thing, perhaps a giant lip stick container, and when she hauls it inside and opens it to use it, BAM! out pops dave to hit her over the head with a man hole cover and steal the prize.
This sounds pretty sweet, I'll think of more later
Anyways I still have a shitty job at a shitty gas station but atleast everybody thinks I'm crazy there, such as "Hey dave, if there was a clone of you, what would you do with it" my answer, defenatly have sex with it. Because wouldent it just be considered masturbation, but actually I wouldent have sex with it because I don't dig guys but the mere thought of that conundrum, thats right, conundrum, would cause the universe to explod, yes, explod like in bionic commando the best game ever.
So I'm eating my hamburger helper out of the pan, with a big wooden spoon and drinking grape juice out of the carton, damn straight thats how awesome I am, and I've come up with the master plan of how to take over oklahoma. First, I'd have to build myself a frankenstein monster, so I decided I'll have to dig up some dead guy from the cemetary, woudlent have to be fresh infact I'd rather have the bones themselves because bones kick ass. And then I'll have to...Graft...on some knives and a gun using silly putty and playdoe, the worlds strongest combonation, and if you don't belive me than you should make that mixture and hang off of it from an overpass......and if you do fall than you'll be dead and you can't tell anyone that it didn't work so eitherway I win, stupid bastards. And then I'll have to figure out a way to animate it, I was thinking that perhaps I could strike it with lightening but that is far to difficult and building a giant electrode to do it is out of the question, so I'll have to get a large bucket of poop and vomet and microwave each piece seperately so that it is able to become alive from the..special microwave...dna... and stuff. Than onto fingers, I was thinking that perhaps I could use spoons and forks but thats way to easy to aquire, so I'll need the right turn signal from JFK's last limo ride, the Hub cap to the DC area sniper car, Osama Bin Laddens beard shaving and of course, to knock it off into its true, evil form of debachury, Opera winfery's Tampon. That my friends, would be the evilist thing upon this earth.
I hear that when Opera takes her tampon out she has to incinerate it or blast it into space strapped to an nuclear weapon for if it should touch the earth than the waters will run black with evil and the sky will...uhh.....explod, yes, explod! So I'll have to figure out a way to sneak into her house and steal it, a common man would think that he could just break in but I have an idea. I'll have to use a trojan horse like thing, perhaps a giant lip stick container, and when she hauls it inside and opens it to use it, BAM! out pops dave to hit her over the head with a man hole cover and steal the prize.
This sounds pretty sweet, I'll think of more later