forget the fact that I don't look like you
Tomorrow I go back to New Jersey for "spring break", hooray New Jersey. I'm bringing my friend Kate and her boyfriend Ben with me...I will have to show them something excellent about New Jersey, because neither of them have been there and therefore have an unjustly negative opinion of my homeland. Kate is so very smug about Minnesota, you know. I will bring her to the Pompton Queen and allow "disco fries" to eradicate her thoughts of superiority...or at least, make her throw up a lot.
Just kidding, I don't want her to throw up, and disco fries are delicious anyway so why would she? I think it's weird that she and Ben are my first college friends to ever stay at my house, and I am a junior. Anyway, it's aerobed city for those mothafuckas, and then I'm driving them to the airport at like 4:00 AM Friday morning because they are going somewhere delightful and warm, and I am going to, um, Rutgers University. Visiting the brother, what fun--we will probably do nothing, because apparently his fraternity does not usually have parties on Friday nights. Sacreligious as far as I'm concerned, but whatevers, I'm cool with sitting in his dorm room staring at his roommate that apparently does nothing but sleep. Yes, great weekend.
In other news, I've decided that my Spoken Chinese teacher, Jia Ning, is an excellent person--really top notch. At first I just liked her because she's a very nice person and also a grad student and therefore is a relatively easy grader. She also wears hott clothes and is from China, which helps. Then yesterday, I realized that in addition to all of this she also says some of the funniest shit ever...it could have very well been the sleep deprivation, but I laughed a good deal, perhaps they all think I am crazy. I think it's her inflection that gets me, which I can't really relate via livejournal. At any rate, a sampling:
Student: "So, I heard there were some things you couldn't give as gifts in China, like clocks, and shoes?"
Jia Ning: "Right. The word for 'clock' sounds the same as the word for death. 'Zhong' means clock, can also mean 'and, final, end...DEATH.' Don't ever give anyone clocks as presents."
S: "What about shoes?"
J: "The word for shoe, 'xie,' sounds the same as the word for 'evil, bad luck...DEATH.' Don't ever give anyone shoes as a present."
(teaching the phrase 'ji bu...ye bu')
J: "You say, I 'ji bu' something, 'ye be' something else. You don't like something, and you also don't like something else. Like, 'Wo ji bu xihuan chi Meiguofan, ye bu xihuan chi Zhonguofan.' I don't like to eat American or Chinese food. I just hate...everything."
(teaching comparisons)
J: "Okay, so you want to say someone plays basketball 'as well as' someone else. Someone name an NBA player."
S1: "LeBron James"
S2: "Kobe Bryant"
S3: "Michael Jordan"
*pause*
J: "Okay let's just say Yao Ming, he is the only one I know."
J: "Who do you think is the most beautiful girl? Jessica Alba?"
Male Student: "YES."
J: "Okay. So, say someone is 'as pretty as' Jessica Alba. Kate. Everyone say, 'Kate is as pretty as Jessica Alba.'"
*everyone says it and male student glares at me*
J: "Okay good." (pauses) "It doesn't mean they look the same, it just means that they are the same amount of pretty."
I'm reading all of these over, and they're not even funny in writing...but if you were there, you would laugh, I promise. I should go to bed probably, because there's already about a 50% chance I will sleep through Chinese class tomorrow morning, and being that I've fallen in love with my instructor that just would not be acceptable.
Just kidding, I don't want her to throw up, and disco fries are delicious anyway so why would she? I think it's weird that she and Ben are my first college friends to ever stay at my house, and I am a junior. Anyway, it's aerobed city for those mothafuckas, and then I'm driving them to the airport at like 4:00 AM Friday morning because they are going somewhere delightful and warm, and I am going to, um, Rutgers University. Visiting the brother, what fun--we will probably do nothing, because apparently his fraternity does not usually have parties on Friday nights. Sacreligious as far as I'm concerned, but whatevers, I'm cool with sitting in his dorm room staring at his roommate that apparently does nothing but sleep. Yes, great weekend.
In other news, I've decided that my Spoken Chinese teacher, Jia Ning, is an excellent person--really top notch. At first I just liked her because she's a very nice person and also a grad student and therefore is a relatively easy grader. She also wears hott clothes and is from China, which helps. Then yesterday, I realized that in addition to all of this she also says some of the funniest shit ever...it could have very well been the sleep deprivation, but I laughed a good deal, perhaps they all think I am crazy. I think it's her inflection that gets me, which I can't really relate via livejournal. At any rate, a sampling:
Student: "So, I heard there were some things you couldn't give as gifts in China, like clocks, and shoes?"
Jia Ning: "Right. The word for 'clock' sounds the same as the word for death. 'Zhong' means clock, can also mean 'and, final, end...DEATH.' Don't ever give anyone clocks as presents."
S: "What about shoes?"
J: "The word for shoe, 'xie,' sounds the same as the word for 'evil, bad luck...DEATH.' Don't ever give anyone shoes as a present."
(teaching the phrase 'ji bu...ye bu')
J: "You say, I 'ji bu' something, 'ye be' something else. You don't like something, and you also don't like something else. Like, 'Wo ji bu xihuan chi Meiguofan, ye bu xihuan chi Zhonguofan.' I don't like to eat American or Chinese food. I just hate...everything."
(teaching comparisons)
J: "Okay, so you want to say someone plays basketball 'as well as' someone else. Someone name an NBA player."
S1: "LeBron James"
S2: "Kobe Bryant"
S3: "Michael Jordan"
*pause*
J: "Okay let's just say Yao Ming, he is the only one I know."
J: "Who do you think is the most beautiful girl? Jessica Alba?"
Male Student: "YES."
J: "Okay. So, say someone is 'as pretty as' Jessica Alba. Kate. Everyone say, 'Kate is as pretty as Jessica Alba.'"
*everyone says it and male student glares at me*
J: "Okay good." (pauses) "It doesn't mean they look the same, it just means that they are the same amount of pretty."
I'm reading all of these over, and they're not even funny in writing...but if you were there, you would laugh, I promise. I should go to bed probably, because there's already about a 50% chance I will sleep through Chinese class tomorrow morning, and being that I've fallen in love with my instructor that just would not be acceptable.