Me vs. Shake Machine
War broke out at the McCobb's battlefront today, pitting man against machine in an epic battle that will be remembered throughout the ages. Or, maybe just by me...for about a week. Either way, today I learned that, when knitting me together in my mother's womb, the Almighty neglected to equip me with the manual dexterity necessary for concocting a chocolate milkshake.
"Block Head" (or so everyone calls him, behind his back) showed me how to work the shake machine today. He filled a cup with shake mix, added two squirts of chocolate syrup, and blended the two together using the Shakemaster 3000, or whatever that monster is called. It looked perfectly easy. So, when a customer later ordered two chocolate shakes, I took on the task myself, feeling that my training had been completed. Oh, how wrong I was...
I filled, I squirted, I began to mix. All was calm at first, until I noticed the mixture in the cup miraculously growing in size. How could this BE? I did nothing, praying that my faith in the system would save me from the inevitable--but no. The cup promptly overflowed, releasing freezing cold brown mush onto my naked hand. Dripply, I brought the cup to the sink. I blamed the first disaster on the allignment of the planets, and tried again...with similar results. Damn you, shake machine!!! Why did you not so scorn the block-headed one? Seething, I cleaned off the cups, and mixed in the remaing syrup by hand, Block Head laughing at me all the way.
Oh, but the wrath of Shake Machine did not end there. He still had to be cleaned; something he took a great disliking to. Upon switching the propellers on to swish through a cup of clean water, Shake Machine instantly created a tsunami within the cup, spewing forth chocolatey water much like a violent volcano would spew magma. My arms, the counter, and the wall were promptly moistened. With downcast eyes, I began to mop up my mess.
I may have lost the battle...but I shall not lose the war. You're going down, Shakemaster.
"Block Head" (or so everyone calls him, behind his back) showed me how to work the shake machine today. He filled a cup with shake mix, added two squirts of chocolate syrup, and blended the two together using the Shakemaster 3000, or whatever that monster is called. It looked perfectly easy. So, when a customer later ordered two chocolate shakes, I took on the task myself, feeling that my training had been completed. Oh, how wrong I was...
I filled, I squirted, I began to mix. All was calm at first, until I noticed the mixture in the cup miraculously growing in size. How could this BE? I did nothing, praying that my faith in the system would save me from the inevitable--but no. The cup promptly overflowed, releasing freezing cold brown mush onto my naked hand. Dripply, I brought the cup to the sink. I blamed the first disaster on the allignment of the planets, and tried again...with similar results. Damn you, shake machine!!! Why did you not so scorn the block-headed one? Seething, I cleaned off the cups, and mixed in the remaing syrup by hand, Block Head laughing at me all the way.
Oh, but the wrath of Shake Machine did not end there. He still had to be cleaned; something he took a great disliking to. Upon switching the propellers on to swish through a cup of clean water, Shake Machine instantly created a tsunami within the cup, spewing forth chocolatey water much like a violent volcano would spew magma. My arms, the counter, and the wall were promptly moistened. With downcast eyes, I began to mop up my mess.
I may have lost the battle...but I shall not lose the war. You're going down, Shakemaster.