FINALLY!!!
thank god. he finally asked her out. now all I gotta do is wait...I hope god doesn't see my as evil or something but what else can I say? I need her like I need air. this is how I see it at the moment she doesn't like me like I like her so what I will do is just wait on the sidelines. I will not get in the way of any of her future relationships or anything like that and when she need me for anything I will be there for her. and I will wait till either the day she feels for me again or till she gets married at which time I will shoot myself. now that might be harsh or even insane but its the only thing I can do now. sure I will go on with my life and go out with other girls and I will respect them and I might even like them but my heart will ALWAYS be with Jamie. me and her and her now boyfriend had this big discussion yesterday...basically it was this, when they go out its gonna get weird for me to like sit there and watch them hugging and kissing and such and I let them know that and they agreed with me. my first idea was to just not be around when they were together. at all. but for some reason they want me around more then that. so now I'm only gonna leave just before homeroom bell so that they can do their thing. but I don't know how that's gonna work either. because what you hafta understand is that I love her so incredibly much and if I have to sit there and just watch them talk and flirt its gonna hurt me. I wish I could be what she wants in a man. but I'm not and it burns me everyday to see her look at him and sigh and then look at me and smile. I want to be the one she sighs about. but what can I do???? WHAT CAN I DOOOOOOOO. I'll tell you what I can do...N.O.T.H.I.N.G. nothing at all. all I can do is wait and hope. and that's what I will do. for now...