(Fic) Amaterasu, Part 9 (End)
Motonari slept as soon as his injury had been looked after, too tired and light-headed to do anything else. When he woke later, Shiranui paced around the room. When it saw him, it padded over and started whimpering. It seemed agitated about something. He found out later from Motochika that Mitsunari had suffered some kind of hallucination about his lord and collapsed in the hallway not long after their return. He was better after some rest, but refused to speak about what he had seen.
In the morning, Motonari found himself alone. He sat up, trying not to jar his shoulder. Where had Shiranui gone?
Then Shiranui trotted through the doorway with Mitsunari in tow. He carried a small box.
"I heard about what happened," Motonari said as the other man sat down.
"I'm fine now," Mitsunari said shortly. "Shiranui has something to say."
Shiranui whimpered, then got up and took a few steps towards the door. It paused, looking over its shoulder.
"You're leaving?" Motonari asked.
Shiranui returned to his bedside, head and ears drooping.
He reached out and patted its head. "You'll be back soon, I'm sure."
The wolf perked up a bit and wagged its tail. Mitsunari opened the box and lifted out a bangle. He took Shiranui's paw and clapped the bangle around its foreleg. It made an inquisitive noise and held up its paw to look at it. The bangle was etched with Mitsunari's crest.
"When you get over there," Mitsunari said, "they will know who sent you."
Motonari bit on his lower lip but couldn't hold it back. He started laughing.
Mitsunari glowered at him. "What? What's so funny?"
"Shiranui is a wild animal. You can't make it yours."
"It's not that!"
Motonari recovered, hiding a smile. "You always place so much importance on loyalty, don't you?"
Shiranui headbutted Mitsunari's shoulder in agreement. He glared at them and looked away.
The wolf placed its paw on top of Motonari's hand.
He squeezed its paw. "Take care of yourself, Shiranui."
It looked at him meaningfully with those large dark eyes. You're the one who needs to get better.
Mitsunari got up. "I'll see it off. Are you coming?"
"I think it's better if I stay put."
"Come on then, Shiranui."
Shiranui walked over and took Mitsunari's hand in its teeth. He seemed about to shake it off but reconsidered.
Motonari watched them go. Even though they both knew Shiranui would be back, seeing the wolf leave brought an ache to his heart. Already, the room felt empty, and it would be strange waking up and not seeing that furry face greet him. He almost wished that he were well, so he might accompany it. But then Mitsunari would certainly kill them both.
#
He couldn't sleep following Shiranui's departure. Instead he just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, until at last he gave up and eased himself into a sitting position. He glanced at the ringblade on the weapon rack and heaved a sigh.
Things felt like how they used to. He was alone once more, but this time it was a little different. The ache in his chest wouldn't go away.
He had allowed himself to become vulnerable again. He was no longer used to being alone.
He heard footsteps and looked up to see Mitsunari enter the room.
"What is it?" Motonari asked.
Mitsunari paused in front of him, his expression unreadable. He didn't answer.
"What's the matter?"
Mitsunari moved at last. Metal whispered as he drew the katana from its sheath, the prongs popping out.
Motonari stared blankly at the red-tinted blade, his mind struggling with the situation. Shiranui wasn't here, and screaming for help was pointless. The weapon rack was too far away. There was no escape. Mitsunari had simply been waiting for this perfect moment.
So in the end it had come to this. Yoshitsugu had been right after all. A part of him had known that this might happen, but instead he had given in to weakness and denied it. In the past he would have scolded himself for putting his trust in Mitsunari, but right now he only felt a deep, gouging sadness.
Mitsunari's expression didn't change, calm and serene.
Motonari lowered his head. He remembered the time they had first met, in Itsukushima. Mitsunari threatened to kill him, and he had stared right back into those fierce yellow eyes without flinching, daring the other man to make a move. But now he couldn't meet that gaze anymore.
"I understand," he whispered. "Do what you want. Just make it quick."
Mitsunari raised the blade.
Motonari closed his eyes, waiting. The katana swished through the air.
Then there was only silence. He opened his eyes and saw the blade hovering over his shoulder.
Mitsunari withdrew and sheathed the katana. "I missed. But if there is a next time, my aim will be far more precise."
Motonari watched, speechless, as the other man sat down like nothing had happened.
"Why are you so surprised?" Mitsunari asked, seeing his bewildered expression.
"Why am I--isn't it obvious? I thought you were about to…"
"You thought so poorly of me? I still need you for our next battle."
"And after that?"
Mitsunari shrugged. "It doesn't concern me. Go back to Aki if you want."
"I don't understand."
"You have a bad habit, strategist, and that is making me repeat myself."
Motonari realized it now. "Is this because I saved your life?"
Mitsunari growled. "I said…!"
"All right, all right. Whatever you want."
They were quiet for a while.
"Surely you haven't forgotten what I was about to do," Motonari said at last. "I wouldn't have spared you. Or anyone else."
Mitsunari thought for a while before answering. "You're not the same as you were before."
Was this why Shiranui hadn't condemned him for what happened in Shikoku? Because it placed greater value on what he had done for Mitsunari?
He looked at the floor. "I'm…thankful."
"You're not alone anymore, strategist. Perhaps you'll think twice before attacking your allies."
Motonari thought he saw a teasing glimmer in those eyes.
Not alone. It brought him some comfort. Having companions meant leaving himself open, but it didn't matter to him anymore. He wouldn't give up what he had with Shiranui for anything else. And Mitsunari too--though he was always in a bad mood, he was noble, and admirably so.
"Don't make jokes at my expense," Motonari said. "Or you may regret it later."
"Try me."
#
Three days later, Shiranui returned with the sun rising at its back. Motonari and Mitsunari were both out on the balcony when they saw a familiar white shape bounding over the hill and running for the castle courtyard. They rushed down to greet the wolf. Shiranui was unscathed and jumped up and down around them, kissing their faces.
They went up to the map room to plot their next move. Shiranui was just as excited to see them, tugging at their hands and prancing around them as they walked.
"Something's not right," Mitsunari said. "It takes days to get that far east. Yet Shiranui went and came back in three."
Motonari glanced at the wolf, whose face was innocent as usual. "It's Shiranui. What else do you expect?"
They questioned Shiranui over the large map at the table. It had assisted the Eastern Army in fighting the evil spirits there, and cured the blight. Motonari inquired about the condition of the Eastern Army's forces, and learned that they hadn't taken heavy losses. Some of the leaders were recuperating from injuries, like they were.
"Is that enough for your next scheme?" Mitsunari asked.
Motonari shot him a sideways glance. Shiranui's return must have put him in a very good mood. "Yes. What's important is that we have ample time to rest."
Shiranui barked.
"Will you be coming?" Motonari asked it.
Its tail stopped wagging. It looked up at them with a sombre expression, one that they hadn't seen before.
"What do you mean?" Mitsunari seemed alarmed.
Shiranui reared up and put its paws on the table. It examined the map, then placed a paw all the way to the northeast.
"Ezochi?" Motonari frowned. "What business do you have in such a cold and desolate place?"
The dark eyes turned towards them, sad but resolute. Whatever the reason, Shiranui was going there alone. They could not abandon their campaign here.
"You're leaving, then." Mitsunari's voice was quiet.
Shiranui whimpered and looked at the floor. I'm sorry, but this is goodbye.
They were all silent. Both men were trying to cope with the sudden news.
"I don't think this can wait?" Motonari asked.
Shiranui shook its head. As if it knew what he was thinking, it lifted a lip and showed a fang. This is a path I must walk alone.
Something stung deep inside his chest. He looked away, too choked to speak.
He felt its teeth close gently around his fingers. Its eyes were warm.
"You'll remember us, won't you?"
It wagged its tail and smiled. That's why I won't be lonely.
He did his best to smile back. Mitsunari came over to join them.
"Stay," he said. "Just one more day."
Shiranui bobbed its head. At least they had some more time.
#
Shiranui tried to cheer them up that day, but they stayed gloomy. Mitsunari didn't speak a word. The wolf headbutted his shoulder repeatedly, even pressed its nose against his cheek to get him to say anything, but it didn't work.
Motonari tried to suppress the ache in his heart. But the shell he had built up over the years was no longer working.
It was better that way, he thought. Whenever I start to care, this happens.
Shiranui made it clear that it was leaving in the morning, and they retired for the night, numb. The wolf, as usual, chose to stay in Motonari's room. As he settled down, Shiranui padded over to the ringblade and gazed at it. Then it plopped down beside him.
"How can you be so cheerful at a time like this?" he asked at last. "Doesn't it hurt for you?"
Shiranui fixed him with its gaze. Do you think it doesn't hurt?
He wrapped his arms around himself. "I wish it didn't."
Shiranui wriggled over and placed a paw on his hand. It was then that he understood. No matter what happened, they were still comrades. Friends. Nothing could take that from them. Even if Shiranui was all the way up in Ezochi and they were in the mainland, they were still together.
He squeezed its paw. "Thank you. For everything."
In the morning, Motonari and Shiranui left the room. Mitsunari was already waiting for them in the corridor, and they went outside in silence. The sky was just lightening, and a soft rain pattered off the ground.
"Rain," Mitsunari muttered to himself. "I hate it. Why does it always have to be raining?"
Shiranui turned to look up at them, making a noise like it was asking for something. Mitsunari knelt down in front of it and it pushed its head up on his shoulder, resting its chin on it. Awkwardly, he wrapped its arms around it, patting its back. They drew apart and it made a comforting noise.
He reached for the bangle on its foreleg. "You won't need that anymore."
Shiranui pulled its leg away.
"You want to keep it?"
It thumped its tail. The corners of Mitsunari's mouth moved upwards in a slight smile and he stood.
"Take care of yourself, Shiranui," he said. "I'll never forgive you if you don't come back."
Shiranui butted his knee playfully. You bet I'll come back.
It padded over to Motonari and he knelt down to let it hug him. He clutched the warm body close to himself, not wanting to let go. Tears blurred his vision and he forced them back. Shiranui stayed there, patient, and didn't pull away until he did.
He drew in a breath and tried to keep his voice steady. "I don't have anything to give you. I'm sorry."
It dangled its tongue and laughed.
"I'll miss you," he whispered. "When you finish, you have to come back."
Shiranui wagged its tail. I'll visit you in Itsukushima. Promise.
Motonari straightened and Shiranui padded away from them. She paused and looked over her shoulder at them, engraving their images into her memory. Then she turned and broke into a run, bounding gracefully across the courtyard. Mitsunari took a few steps forward, as if he wanted to run after her. The two stayed there, not taking their eyes away. Within moments she was a white shape streaking across the countryside, up towards the hill in the distance.
When she reached the top of the hill, she stopped. They knew she was looking back at them. Then she lifted her head and howled, the sound floating skywards and ringing in the air. The rain slowed to a drizzle and vanished, and the sky grew brighter. Then she turned and was gone.
Mitsunari turned. A droplet traced its way down his cheek. It couldn't be the rain, as it had already stopped.
"Let's go, Motonari," he said quietly.
Motonari gazed at the hill for a moment longer before he followed. Shiranui's path would cross with theirs again soon.
Behind them, the sun began to rise.
Afterword: Thank you very much for reading, I am grateful! I enjoyed writing this story. I got sad when it ended so I decided to see how far I could push it. Let me know how you feel about seeing the sequel--more evil spirits trolling the Sengoku era, more wolf shenanigans, and...romance? I will be members-locking this one. Thanks again for reading and see you again soon.
In the morning, Motonari found himself alone. He sat up, trying not to jar his shoulder. Where had Shiranui gone?
Then Shiranui trotted through the doorway with Mitsunari in tow. He carried a small box.
"I heard about what happened," Motonari said as the other man sat down.
"I'm fine now," Mitsunari said shortly. "Shiranui has something to say."
Shiranui whimpered, then got up and took a few steps towards the door. It paused, looking over its shoulder.
"You're leaving?" Motonari asked.
Shiranui returned to his bedside, head and ears drooping.
He reached out and patted its head. "You'll be back soon, I'm sure."
The wolf perked up a bit and wagged its tail. Mitsunari opened the box and lifted out a bangle. He took Shiranui's paw and clapped the bangle around its foreleg. It made an inquisitive noise and held up its paw to look at it. The bangle was etched with Mitsunari's crest.
"When you get over there," Mitsunari said, "they will know who sent you."
Motonari bit on his lower lip but couldn't hold it back. He started laughing.
Mitsunari glowered at him. "What? What's so funny?"
"Shiranui is a wild animal. You can't make it yours."
"It's not that!"
Motonari recovered, hiding a smile. "You always place so much importance on loyalty, don't you?"
Shiranui headbutted Mitsunari's shoulder in agreement. He glared at them and looked away.
The wolf placed its paw on top of Motonari's hand.
He squeezed its paw. "Take care of yourself, Shiranui."
It looked at him meaningfully with those large dark eyes. You're the one who needs to get better.
Mitsunari got up. "I'll see it off. Are you coming?"
"I think it's better if I stay put."
"Come on then, Shiranui."
Shiranui walked over and took Mitsunari's hand in its teeth. He seemed about to shake it off but reconsidered.
Motonari watched them go. Even though they both knew Shiranui would be back, seeing the wolf leave brought an ache to his heart. Already, the room felt empty, and it would be strange waking up and not seeing that furry face greet him. He almost wished that he were well, so he might accompany it. But then Mitsunari would certainly kill them both.
#
He couldn't sleep following Shiranui's departure. Instead he just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, until at last he gave up and eased himself into a sitting position. He glanced at the ringblade on the weapon rack and heaved a sigh.
Things felt like how they used to. He was alone once more, but this time it was a little different. The ache in his chest wouldn't go away.
He had allowed himself to become vulnerable again. He was no longer used to being alone.
He heard footsteps and looked up to see Mitsunari enter the room.
"What is it?" Motonari asked.
Mitsunari paused in front of him, his expression unreadable. He didn't answer.
"What's the matter?"
Mitsunari moved at last. Metal whispered as he drew the katana from its sheath, the prongs popping out.
Motonari stared blankly at the red-tinted blade, his mind struggling with the situation. Shiranui wasn't here, and screaming for help was pointless. The weapon rack was too far away. There was no escape. Mitsunari had simply been waiting for this perfect moment.
So in the end it had come to this. Yoshitsugu had been right after all. A part of him had known that this might happen, but instead he had given in to weakness and denied it. In the past he would have scolded himself for putting his trust in Mitsunari, but right now he only felt a deep, gouging sadness.
Mitsunari's expression didn't change, calm and serene.
Motonari lowered his head. He remembered the time they had first met, in Itsukushima. Mitsunari threatened to kill him, and he had stared right back into those fierce yellow eyes without flinching, daring the other man to make a move. But now he couldn't meet that gaze anymore.
"I understand," he whispered. "Do what you want. Just make it quick."
Mitsunari raised the blade.
Motonari closed his eyes, waiting. The katana swished through the air.
Then there was only silence. He opened his eyes and saw the blade hovering over his shoulder.
Mitsunari withdrew and sheathed the katana. "I missed. But if there is a next time, my aim will be far more precise."
Motonari watched, speechless, as the other man sat down like nothing had happened.
"Why are you so surprised?" Mitsunari asked, seeing his bewildered expression.
"Why am I--isn't it obvious? I thought you were about to…"
"You thought so poorly of me? I still need you for our next battle."
"And after that?"
Mitsunari shrugged. "It doesn't concern me. Go back to Aki if you want."
"I don't understand."
"You have a bad habit, strategist, and that is making me repeat myself."
Motonari realized it now. "Is this because I saved your life?"
Mitsunari growled. "I said…!"
"All right, all right. Whatever you want."
They were quiet for a while.
"Surely you haven't forgotten what I was about to do," Motonari said at last. "I wouldn't have spared you. Or anyone else."
Mitsunari thought for a while before answering. "You're not the same as you were before."
Was this why Shiranui hadn't condemned him for what happened in Shikoku? Because it placed greater value on what he had done for Mitsunari?
He looked at the floor. "I'm…thankful."
"You're not alone anymore, strategist. Perhaps you'll think twice before attacking your allies."
Motonari thought he saw a teasing glimmer in those eyes.
Not alone. It brought him some comfort. Having companions meant leaving himself open, but it didn't matter to him anymore. He wouldn't give up what he had with Shiranui for anything else. And Mitsunari too--though he was always in a bad mood, he was noble, and admirably so.
"Don't make jokes at my expense," Motonari said. "Or you may regret it later."
"Try me."
#
Three days later, Shiranui returned with the sun rising at its back. Motonari and Mitsunari were both out on the balcony when they saw a familiar white shape bounding over the hill and running for the castle courtyard. They rushed down to greet the wolf. Shiranui was unscathed and jumped up and down around them, kissing their faces.
They went up to the map room to plot their next move. Shiranui was just as excited to see them, tugging at their hands and prancing around them as they walked.
"Something's not right," Mitsunari said. "It takes days to get that far east. Yet Shiranui went and came back in three."
Motonari glanced at the wolf, whose face was innocent as usual. "It's Shiranui. What else do you expect?"
They questioned Shiranui over the large map at the table. It had assisted the Eastern Army in fighting the evil spirits there, and cured the blight. Motonari inquired about the condition of the Eastern Army's forces, and learned that they hadn't taken heavy losses. Some of the leaders were recuperating from injuries, like they were.
"Is that enough for your next scheme?" Mitsunari asked.
Motonari shot him a sideways glance. Shiranui's return must have put him in a very good mood. "Yes. What's important is that we have ample time to rest."
Shiranui barked.
"Will you be coming?" Motonari asked it.
Its tail stopped wagging. It looked up at them with a sombre expression, one that they hadn't seen before.
"What do you mean?" Mitsunari seemed alarmed.
Shiranui reared up and put its paws on the table. It examined the map, then placed a paw all the way to the northeast.
"Ezochi?" Motonari frowned. "What business do you have in such a cold and desolate place?"
The dark eyes turned towards them, sad but resolute. Whatever the reason, Shiranui was going there alone. They could not abandon their campaign here.
"You're leaving, then." Mitsunari's voice was quiet.
Shiranui whimpered and looked at the floor. I'm sorry, but this is goodbye.
They were all silent. Both men were trying to cope with the sudden news.
"I don't think this can wait?" Motonari asked.
Shiranui shook its head. As if it knew what he was thinking, it lifted a lip and showed a fang. This is a path I must walk alone.
Something stung deep inside his chest. He looked away, too choked to speak.
He felt its teeth close gently around his fingers. Its eyes were warm.
"You'll remember us, won't you?"
It wagged its tail and smiled. That's why I won't be lonely.
He did his best to smile back. Mitsunari came over to join them.
"Stay," he said. "Just one more day."
Shiranui bobbed its head. At least they had some more time.
#
Shiranui tried to cheer them up that day, but they stayed gloomy. Mitsunari didn't speak a word. The wolf headbutted his shoulder repeatedly, even pressed its nose against his cheek to get him to say anything, but it didn't work.
Motonari tried to suppress the ache in his heart. But the shell he had built up over the years was no longer working.
It was better that way, he thought. Whenever I start to care, this happens.
Shiranui made it clear that it was leaving in the morning, and they retired for the night, numb. The wolf, as usual, chose to stay in Motonari's room. As he settled down, Shiranui padded over to the ringblade and gazed at it. Then it plopped down beside him.
"How can you be so cheerful at a time like this?" he asked at last. "Doesn't it hurt for you?"
Shiranui fixed him with its gaze. Do you think it doesn't hurt?
He wrapped his arms around himself. "I wish it didn't."
Shiranui wriggled over and placed a paw on his hand. It was then that he understood. No matter what happened, they were still comrades. Friends. Nothing could take that from them. Even if Shiranui was all the way up in Ezochi and they were in the mainland, they were still together.
He squeezed its paw. "Thank you. For everything."
In the morning, Motonari and Shiranui left the room. Mitsunari was already waiting for them in the corridor, and they went outside in silence. The sky was just lightening, and a soft rain pattered off the ground.
"Rain," Mitsunari muttered to himself. "I hate it. Why does it always have to be raining?"
Shiranui turned to look up at them, making a noise like it was asking for something. Mitsunari knelt down in front of it and it pushed its head up on his shoulder, resting its chin on it. Awkwardly, he wrapped its arms around it, patting its back. They drew apart and it made a comforting noise.
He reached for the bangle on its foreleg. "You won't need that anymore."
Shiranui pulled its leg away.
"You want to keep it?"
It thumped its tail. The corners of Mitsunari's mouth moved upwards in a slight smile and he stood.
"Take care of yourself, Shiranui," he said. "I'll never forgive you if you don't come back."
Shiranui butted his knee playfully. You bet I'll come back.
It padded over to Motonari and he knelt down to let it hug him. He clutched the warm body close to himself, not wanting to let go. Tears blurred his vision and he forced them back. Shiranui stayed there, patient, and didn't pull away until he did.
He drew in a breath and tried to keep his voice steady. "I don't have anything to give you. I'm sorry."
It dangled its tongue and laughed.
"I'll miss you," he whispered. "When you finish, you have to come back."
Shiranui wagged its tail. I'll visit you in Itsukushima. Promise.
Motonari straightened and Shiranui padded away from them. She paused and looked over her shoulder at them, engraving their images into her memory. Then she turned and broke into a run, bounding gracefully across the courtyard. Mitsunari took a few steps forward, as if he wanted to run after her. The two stayed there, not taking their eyes away. Within moments she was a white shape streaking across the countryside, up towards the hill in the distance.
When she reached the top of the hill, she stopped. They knew she was looking back at them. Then she lifted her head and howled, the sound floating skywards and ringing in the air. The rain slowed to a drizzle and vanished, and the sky grew brighter. Then she turned and was gone.
Mitsunari turned. A droplet traced its way down his cheek. It couldn't be the rain, as it had already stopped.
"Let's go, Motonari," he said quietly.
Motonari gazed at the hill for a moment longer before he followed. Shiranui's path would cross with theirs again soon.
Behind them, the sun began to rise.
Afterword: Thank you very much for reading, I am grateful! I enjoyed writing this story. I got sad when it ended so I decided to see how far I could push it. Let me know how you feel about seeing the sequel--more evil spirits trolling the Sengoku era, more wolf shenanigans, and...romance? I will be members-locking this one. Thanks again for reading and see you again soon.