I'm not arguing on most of your points, I just don't see how you can check the locks in your car, but not check over your shoulder to see if your kid is still there. It doesn't require thinking about your kid ALL THE TIME, it requires adding something to your autopilot. Considering the demographic this usually happens in (white, middle-upper class) I find it difficult not to see this as the tragic conclusion of two self-centred people deciding they need a McKid to fill out their Perfect Suburban Life(tm), and not being willing to make the sacrifices necessary for the health and continued survival of the kid.
I also found a lot of the testimonies and quotes very, very rote. They didn't ring true, they didn't sound tragic or heartfelt - they felt like memorized statements to be recited in front of a jury. And really, if you did the same thing to a dog, the SPCA wouldn't let you adopt another one. I do NOT think it's unreasonable to have them serve time (or at the least a fuckton of community service) to hammer the point home that this is unacceptable. The parents aren't the victims here - the child is.
Except the article mentions quite specifically that this happens across demographics. The people they spoke to or reported on were middle class or upper, but that may be because these are demographics more likely to accept an interview.
It happens across all demographics, but people from poorer or non-white backgrounds are MUCH more likely to get a guilty verdict. That's very telling right there.
Yeah - that's a sad sad statement on our justice system.
You get all the justice you can afford. If you can afford a good lawyer, you have a vastly higher successful defence rate than if you get a public defender, who is probably overworked and badly paid not to mention not as skilled or he wouldn't be either of those.
Top that off with the perception 'high end' people (like Crown Attorneys or District Attorneys in the US) have that anyone poor is somehow 'at fault' for that and is therefore automatically a worse parent, a drunk or drug user etc. etc. and you get the awful reality of our legal (I won't use the term 'justice') system.
It's telling all right - but mostly telling about prejudice in society than anything else. I can point out some excellent parents who are poor and some really awful ones who are wealthy.
It is telling, but not of whether the parents deserve the force of the law as well as a lot of social censure and personal guilt. It says a lot about our justice system (Or at least those of North America in general), and its prejudices.
However, since I was under the impression that your first remark was pointing to the prevalence of white upper class among the parents as indicative of their culpability and true unconcern for their child, I'm not sure how it relates. Perhaps I misread you.
Checking the locks on a car these days involves sticking your hand in your pocket while walking away. Easy rote.
Checking the back seat every time you get in or out might become rote if you carried a little one a lot, but otherwise it'll never be a habit.
As to the McKid thing - I think a bit of your childfree bias is showing. That's pretty negative. I'm sure it happens but the article is clear that the demographic of this happening isn't what you say. It's universal. Rich, poor, white collar, blue collar, everyone.
As to jail time? Speaking as a parent nothing the state could do could touch the sentence you give yourself over something like this. Wonder how many suicide? A lot I bet.
Anyway, probably best just to agree to disagree on this one.
Just to point - my childfreeness has nothing to do with my attitude. Most of opinions come from either family, friends of the family, or people I babysat for. Sadly, the McKid thing is NOT an exaggeration - a lot of people have babies because they feel they need to and they want Generic Child around the house. I babysat for one family with a ten year old girl who couldn't read beyond Dr. Seuss, but could talk all day about make-up and fashion. Her mom didn't care about who she was on the inside, just that she had an attractive daughter to show off to her poker friends. Rather than raising her, she stuck her in front of Cosmo TV the entire day.
That's just on example. I also babysat for a woman whose 6yo kid was still in diapers because she didn't care enough to potty train her and "that's why she hired me". I never went back after that.
I also found a lot of the testimonies and quotes very, very rote. They didn't ring true, they didn't sound tragic or heartfelt - they felt like memorized statements to be recited in front of a jury. And really, if you did the same thing to a dog, the SPCA wouldn't let you adopt another one. I do NOT think it's unreasonable to have them serve time (or at the least a fuckton of community service) to hammer the point home that this is unacceptable. The parents aren't the victims here - the child is.
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You get all the justice you can afford. If you can afford a good lawyer, you have a vastly higher successful defence rate than if you get a public defender, who is probably overworked and badly paid not to mention not as skilled or he wouldn't be either of those.
Top that off with the perception 'high end' people (like Crown Attorneys or District Attorneys in the US) have that anyone poor is somehow 'at fault' for that and is therefore automatically a worse parent, a drunk or drug user etc. etc. and you get the awful reality of our legal (I won't use the term 'justice') system.
It's telling all right - but mostly telling about prejudice in society than anything else. I can point out some excellent parents who are poor and some really awful ones who are wealthy.
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However, since I was under the impression that your first remark was pointing to the prevalence of white upper class among the parents as indicative of their culpability and true unconcern for their child, I'm not sure how it relates. Perhaps I misread you.
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Checking the back seat every time you get in or out might become rote if you carried a little one a lot, but otherwise it'll never be a habit.
As to the McKid thing - I think a bit of your childfree bias is showing. That's pretty negative. I'm sure it happens but the article is clear that the demographic of this happening isn't what you say. It's universal. Rich, poor, white collar, blue collar, everyone.
As to jail time? Speaking as a parent nothing the state could do could touch the sentence you give yourself over something like this. Wonder how many suicide? A lot I bet.
Anyway, probably best just to agree to disagree on this one.
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That's just on example. I also babysat for a woman whose 6yo kid was still in diapers because she didn't care enough to potty train her and "that's why she hired me". I never went back after that.
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