Dark Angel fic for the jam_pony_fic Mini ficathon
Title: Sound is Deep In the Dark
Author: bloodnfire
Rating: M, probably best to avoid if mentions of blood make you queasy
Characters/Pairing: Max and Alec featuring Logan and Joshua. Gen with implied Max/Logan
Wordcount: 1,953 (I fail!)
Spoilers: This is set post-series so spoilers for both seasons
Notes: Written for the jam_pony_fic Mini ficathon for moonshayde for the prompt: A mission gone wrong leaves Alec wounded and Max has to face the possibility of losing him. Title from The Cure. Also, check out the awesome podfic of this story by the wonderful twasadark here!
His blood is slick and warm against her fingers, flowing freely despite her efforts to keep it inside him where it belongs. Max curses under her breath, cursing her self for not reacting fast enough, cursing Logan and Joshua for taking their sweet ass time getting here to pick them up. Curses Alec for getting his stupid ass shot in the first place and the bastard who put the bullet in him. She curses the universe for trying to take some one else away from her.
* * *
Max stopped looking at Alec and thinking ‘Ben’ a long time ago. Mostly because she started looking at him and thinking ‘Pain in My Ass’ or ‘Oh Crap, What’d You Do Now?’ But with him bleeding out on the ground beside her, Max is desperately attempting to suppress the sickening memory of ending Ben’s life with her bare hands. An impossible task when she’s watching the colour drain from his face. Alec’s eyes are dull with pain, but they’re still wide and focused. She concentrates on that, doesn’t think about Ben’s eyes left dead and empty, like green glass between the dark smudges of his lashes.
* * *
The dirt on the ground around Alec mixes with the blood pumping out of his body, thick and wet, making a red tinted sludge. He need to get stitched back together before his whole life comes pouring out of the small hole in his stomach. There’s a clear trail along the loose soil, the path she took when she dragged Alec from the fence into the dark shape of the tree line. They’re not well hidden but they need to have a view of the road when Logan and Joshua pick them up and at least here they have some cover. Max throws a worried glance over her shoulder then looks at her watch, the guards aren’t due for another patrol for fifteen minutes. They won’t have found the body yet. She doesn’t feel guilty about it. It happened automatically, she heard the sharp crack of a gun and turned to see Alec bleeding all over himself, eyes wide and surprised; the guy was supposed to be unconscious dammit. Max just saw the guard level his gun at Alec’s head, ready for another shot, and instinct had her hands around his neck and twisted before she really registered what was happening. She doesn’t feel guilty.
* * *
Manticore gave life but never a reason to live. They’d had to find that in each other, her brothers and sisters, in Ben’s stories of the outside world and in Zack’s plans of escape. She doesn’t know what they did with Ben’s body, doesn’t want to. Thinking of Ben being cut up like meat; men and women in white coats prodding at his insides as though it’ll tell them what went wrong in his head, like ancient oracles looking for the future in the entrails of slaughtered animals. Zack’s heart is pounding in her chest, like it’s trying to break through flesh and bone to escape. Maybe it wants to crawl back home, to Zack; living happy and oblivious on a farm somewhere. She often wishes he were here now, big brother there to step up to the plate when Max doesn’t measure up. Max never intended to be a leader for misplaced transgenics. She just stood up and found them standing behind her. Alec stood to her left, always invading her personal space enough that their shoulders touched. Max imagines that space empty and wants to scream.
* * *
Flashlights cut through the darkness, pale yellow and razor sharp in the night. Time is moving slower by the second, but they’re patrolling early, goddamit. Shouts crash through the silence, but nothing’s louder than Alec’s ragged breathing in her ear, the only sound he’s making. This is the quietest Alec’s ever been since the day he swaggered into her cell and started stripping. It’s the worst sound Max has ever heard.
* * *
The lights come closer to the perimeter of the compound. Max plasters her body closer to Alec’s. Somewhere, she hopes, the van is moving closer to them. The seconds slither by, thick and dark like molasses.
* * *
“They’re coming.” Alec whispers, voice rough and torn. Max pointedly ignores the phrases Deja Vu and History Repeats swimming in her head.
“You ask me to kill you and I’ll kick you butt.” She doesn’t even realize she says it out loud until Alec laughs. It’s weak and hoarse but indisputably Alec.
“Yeah, that sounds like me.” He says, choked breaths between each word dampening the sarcasm. “You can’t get rid of me that easily Max. I expect you to carry my ass out of here if you have to.”
“I’ve been trying to get rid of you since the day we met; I know it’s not easy.” Max replies, trying to sound irritated, but she suspects it falls flat and desperate. Alec grins, dazed but aware and Max continues. “I mean, a bullet sure as hell ain’t enough to do it. You’re like a cockroach; disgusting, annoying and practically indestructible.”
“A devastatingly good-looking cockroach.” Alec says weakly and Max plasters on one of her favourite looks of exasperation. The lights get brighter, closer, and they both fall silent.
* * *
Headlights sweeping across the dirt road are like the second coming. Max watches the flashlights spin in towards them, hears the shouts as the guards who were only metres away from finding her and Alec turn back towards the road. That’s all she needs, just a brief moment of distraction.
The first guard goes down with a heavy thud; he doesn’t have time to make a single noise of warning. The rest follow suit, crumpling like a house of cards with one pulled out. A pack of jokers against the ace of spades. No contest.
* * *
When time starts moving forward again it picks up speed until the momentum of the world spinning around her makes Max dizzy.
Joshua and Logan are beside her within seconds of the last man hitting the ground. They take in her face, the blood on her hands. Logan starts inspecting her for injury but Joshua runs straight into the trees. Following the smell of blood and Alec, Max thinks. She starts to bats Logan’s gloved hands away, tells him it’s not her blood. Logan’s hand stays clenched around hers.
* * *
When Joshua emerges from the tree line with Alec limp in his arms Max’s heart stops beating and her blood turns cold in her veins. Logan releases her hand and runs over to them, grim and practical, leaving Max standing alone in the middle of the dirt road, the dust churned up by the van settling silently around her.
* * *
He’s still alive. The thought is a constant, throbbing beat in Max’s head as Joshua drives, fast but careful, while Logan prepares to stitch Alec up as best he can with a first aid kit in the back of the van. Alec’s barely conscious, drifting in and out. When Logan rips Alec’s t-shirt open to get better access to the wound Alec manages to open his eyes long enough to mutter that he likes Logan’s style but there are easier ways to get his shirt off before passing out again. Logan pushes his glasses up his nose; a dark smear of red smudges the edge of one lens. Max stares at it and wishes she could get close enough to him to wipe it off without risking his life. She looks away, focusing on Logan’s steady fingers pulling the needle through Alec’s red-stained skin.
* * *
“Hey.” Max says as she wanders into the room they’ve made into a makeshift infirmary. It’s just a room with a sink, their collection of medical supplies and a few of the only beds they’ve got that don’t have springs stabbing you at every angle. Alec’s sitting in one of said beds, looking pale and tired but living. “How you feeling?”
“Could be worse, right?” He replies, flashing a smile. “Hell, I’ve been worse.”
“Another few minutes and you could’ve been dead.” Max doesn’t mean to snap but Alec making light of his injuries annoys her a surprising amount.
“Yeah.” Alec continues to sound completely unfazed. “Good old Manticore and their super healing speed, huh?”
“Yeah.” Max sighs and sinks onto the end of his bed, careful to avoid sitting on his feet.
“And Logan’s sewing skills.” Alec says,. “But I’m glad that scar’s not gonna stick around too long.”
Max nods quietly, just lets Alec chatter away at her, like every thing’s normal. Like he didn’t just narrowly escape bleeding to death in the dirt behind some stupid government compound where a stupid lead about the stupid virus had sent Max to chase a stupid dead end and nearly got Alec’s stupid ass killed. She closes her eyes, tries to suppress the frustration that twists and bubbles beneath her skin but when she opens them again Alec’s staring at her.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly and Max senses that this is one of those rare times when the words coming out of Alec’s mouth actually mean something.
“I’m fine.” She replies with a tight smile. “It’s not me who got a bullet in the gut.”
Alec just regards her for a moment, green eyes fixed on her face. “What you said, about not asking you to kill me. You were thinking about Ben.” Max stays silent; she hadn’t expected him to remember that.
“I mean, that must’ve sucked, right?” Alec continues, “Feeling like you were losing him all over again.”
“No.” Max says quietly, “I thought I was gonna lose you.”
* * *
Silence reigns long and heavy between them and Max finds her self studying the dull white walls, paint cracked and peeling. Alec breaks the silence first, like she knew he would, like she hoped he would.
“You know you can’t live without me.” Max can’t help but smile at the self-satisfied grin that’s spread it’s away across Alec’s face but she twists it into a playful scowl.
“Whatever, I managed just fine for years before you wormed your way into my life.”
“Admit it, Max. You like me.” Alec smirks now. “I mean, who could blame you? I’m a likeable guy.”
“Full of your self is more like it.” Max says, pulling her top lip into a sneer.
“People’d pay good money to be full of me.” Alec replies, waggling an eyebrow suggestively.
“I’d pay good money to shut you up.” She says, lightly smacking his leg.
“Deny it all you want, Max. We both know you love me.”
“You know, just because you got shot doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass.”
“You can try.”
* * *
Max doesn’t sleep at all that night. She sits on the roof of the tallest building in Terminal City and watches the lights of Seattle flicker through the clouds of pollution. She watches the city, the world, keep living as it always does. She thinks about Ben and the answers he couldn’t find; about Zack and the life he doesn’t remember. She thinks about all of them, the ones she never found and who never found her. She thinks about Logan, about the virus that keeps him just out of reach. Max thinks about all the people she’s lost to the world and how close she came to losing another one. The world may be kicking her ass, but Alec’s still here, alive and sleeping in one of the buildings below. To Max, that seems like a victory.
Author: bloodnfire
Rating: M, probably best to avoid if mentions of blood make you queasy
Characters/Pairing: Max and Alec featuring Logan and Joshua. Gen with implied Max/Logan
Wordcount: 1,953 (I fail!)
Spoilers: This is set post-series so spoilers for both seasons
Notes: Written for the jam_pony_fic Mini ficathon for moonshayde for the prompt: A mission gone wrong leaves Alec wounded and Max has to face the possibility of losing him. Title from The Cure. Also, check out the awesome podfic of this story by the wonderful twasadark here!
His blood is slick and warm against her fingers, flowing freely despite her efforts to keep it inside him where it belongs. Max curses under her breath, cursing her self for not reacting fast enough, cursing Logan and Joshua for taking their sweet ass time getting here to pick them up. Curses Alec for getting his stupid ass shot in the first place and the bastard who put the bullet in him. She curses the universe for trying to take some one else away from her.
* * *
Max stopped looking at Alec and thinking ‘Ben’ a long time ago. Mostly because she started looking at him and thinking ‘Pain in My Ass’ or ‘Oh Crap, What’d You Do Now?’ But with him bleeding out on the ground beside her, Max is desperately attempting to suppress the sickening memory of ending Ben’s life with her bare hands. An impossible task when she’s watching the colour drain from his face. Alec’s eyes are dull with pain, but they’re still wide and focused. She concentrates on that, doesn’t think about Ben’s eyes left dead and empty, like green glass between the dark smudges of his lashes.
* * *
The dirt on the ground around Alec mixes with the blood pumping out of his body, thick and wet, making a red tinted sludge. He need to get stitched back together before his whole life comes pouring out of the small hole in his stomach. There’s a clear trail along the loose soil, the path she took when she dragged Alec from the fence into the dark shape of the tree line. They’re not well hidden but they need to have a view of the road when Logan and Joshua pick them up and at least here they have some cover. Max throws a worried glance over her shoulder then looks at her watch, the guards aren’t due for another patrol for fifteen minutes. They won’t have found the body yet. She doesn’t feel guilty about it. It happened automatically, she heard the sharp crack of a gun and turned to see Alec bleeding all over himself, eyes wide and surprised; the guy was supposed to be unconscious dammit. Max just saw the guard level his gun at Alec’s head, ready for another shot, and instinct had her hands around his neck and twisted before she really registered what was happening. She doesn’t feel guilty.
* * *
Manticore gave life but never a reason to live. They’d had to find that in each other, her brothers and sisters, in Ben’s stories of the outside world and in Zack’s plans of escape. She doesn’t know what they did with Ben’s body, doesn’t want to. Thinking of Ben being cut up like meat; men and women in white coats prodding at his insides as though it’ll tell them what went wrong in his head, like ancient oracles looking for the future in the entrails of slaughtered animals. Zack’s heart is pounding in her chest, like it’s trying to break through flesh and bone to escape. Maybe it wants to crawl back home, to Zack; living happy and oblivious on a farm somewhere. She often wishes he were here now, big brother there to step up to the plate when Max doesn’t measure up. Max never intended to be a leader for misplaced transgenics. She just stood up and found them standing behind her. Alec stood to her left, always invading her personal space enough that their shoulders touched. Max imagines that space empty and wants to scream.
* * *
Flashlights cut through the darkness, pale yellow and razor sharp in the night. Time is moving slower by the second, but they’re patrolling early, goddamit. Shouts crash through the silence, but nothing’s louder than Alec’s ragged breathing in her ear, the only sound he’s making. This is the quietest Alec’s ever been since the day he swaggered into her cell and started stripping. It’s the worst sound Max has ever heard.
* * *
The lights come closer to the perimeter of the compound. Max plasters her body closer to Alec’s. Somewhere, she hopes, the van is moving closer to them. The seconds slither by, thick and dark like molasses.
* * *
“They’re coming.” Alec whispers, voice rough and torn. Max pointedly ignores the phrases Deja Vu and History Repeats swimming in her head.
“You ask me to kill you and I’ll kick you butt.” She doesn’t even realize she says it out loud until Alec laughs. It’s weak and hoarse but indisputably Alec.
“Yeah, that sounds like me.” He says, choked breaths between each word dampening the sarcasm. “You can’t get rid of me that easily Max. I expect you to carry my ass out of here if you have to.”
“I’ve been trying to get rid of you since the day we met; I know it’s not easy.” Max replies, trying to sound irritated, but she suspects it falls flat and desperate. Alec grins, dazed but aware and Max continues. “I mean, a bullet sure as hell ain’t enough to do it. You’re like a cockroach; disgusting, annoying and practically indestructible.”
“A devastatingly good-looking cockroach.” Alec says weakly and Max plasters on one of her favourite looks of exasperation. The lights get brighter, closer, and they both fall silent.
* * *
Headlights sweeping across the dirt road are like the second coming. Max watches the flashlights spin in towards them, hears the shouts as the guards who were only metres away from finding her and Alec turn back towards the road. That’s all she needs, just a brief moment of distraction.
The first guard goes down with a heavy thud; he doesn’t have time to make a single noise of warning. The rest follow suit, crumpling like a house of cards with one pulled out. A pack of jokers against the ace of spades. No contest.
* * *
When time starts moving forward again it picks up speed until the momentum of the world spinning around her makes Max dizzy.
Joshua and Logan are beside her within seconds of the last man hitting the ground. They take in her face, the blood on her hands. Logan starts inspecting her for injury but Joshua runs straight into the trees. Following the smell of blood and Alec, Max thinks. She starts to bats Logan’s gloved hands away, tells him it’s not her blood. Logan’s hand stays clenched around hers.
* * *
When Joshua emerges from the tree line with Alec limp in his arms Max’s heart stops beating and her blood turns cold in her veins. Logan releases her hand and runs over to them, grim and practical, leaving Max standing alone in the middle of the dirt road, the dust churned up by the van settling silently around her.
* * *
He’s still alive. The thought is a constant, throbbing beat in Max’s head as Joshua drives, fast but careful, while Logan prepares to stitch Alec up as best he can with a first aid kit in the back of the van. Alec’s barely conscious, drifting in and out. When Logan rips Alec’s t-shirt open to get better access to the wound Alec manages to open his eyes long enough to mutter that he likes Logan’s style but there are easier ways to get his shirt off before passing out again. Logan pushes his glasses up his nose; a dark smear of red smudges the edge of one lens. Max stares at it and wishes she could get close enough to him to wipe it off without risking his life. She looks away, focusing on Logan’s steady fingers pulling the needle through Alec’s red-stained skin.
* * *
“Hey.” Max says as she wanders into the room they’ve made into a makeshift infirmary. It’s just a room with a sink, their collection of medical supplies and a few of the only beds they’ve got that don’t have springs stabbing you at every angle. Alec’s sitting in one of said beds, looking pale and tired but living. “How you feeling?”
“Could be worse, right?” He replies, flashing a smile. “Hell, I’ve been worse.”
“Another few minutes and you could’ve been dead.” Max doesn’t mean to snap but Alec making light of his injuries annoys her a surprising amount.
“Yeah.” Alec continues to sound completely unfazed. “Good old Manticore and their super healing speed, huh?”
“Yeah.” Max sighs and sinks onto the end of his bed, careful to avoid sitting on his feet.
“And Logan’s sewing skills.” Alec says,. “But I’m glad that scar’s not gonna stick around too long.”
Max nods quietly, just lets Alec chatter away at her, like every thing’s normal. Like he didn’t just narrowly escape bleeding to death in the dirt behind some stupid government compound where a stupid lead about the stupid virus had sent Max to chase a stupid dead end and nearly got Alec’s stupid ass killed. She closes her eyes, tries to suppress the frustration that twists and bubbles beneath her skin but when she opens them again Alec’s staring at her.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly and Max senses that this is one of those rare times when the words coming out of Alec’s mouth actually mean something.
“I’m fine.” She replies with a tight smile. “It’s not me who got a bullet in the gut.”
Alec just regards her for a moment, green eyes fixed on her face. “What you said, about not asking you to kill me. You were thinking about Ben.” Max stays silent; she hadn’t expected him to remember that.
“I mean, that must’ve sucked, right?” Alec continues, “Feeling like you were losing him all over again.”
“No.” Max says quietly, “I thought I was gonna lose you.”
* * *
Silence reigns long and heavy between them and Max finds her self studying the dull white walls, paint cracked and peeling. Alec breaks the silence first, like she knew he would, like she hoped he would.
“You know you can’t live without me.” Max can’t help but smile at the self-satisfied grin that’s spread it’s away across Alec’s face but she twists it into a playful scowl.
“Whatever, I managed just fine for years before you wormed your way into my life.”
“Admit it, Max. You like me.” Alec smirks now. “I mean, who could blame you? I’m a likeable guy.”
“Full of your self is more like it.” Max says, pulling her top lip into a sneer.
“People’d pay good money to be full of me.” Alec replies, waggling an eyebrow suggestively.
“I’d pay good money to shut you up.” She says, lightly smacking his leg.
“Deny it all you want, Max. We both know you love me.”
“You know, just because you got shot doesn’t mean I won’t kick your ass.”
“You can try.”
* * *
Max doesn’t sleep at all that night. She sits on the roof of the tallest building in Terminal City and watches the lights of Seattle flicker through the clouds of pollution. She watches the city, the world, keep living as it always does. She thinks about Ben and the answers he couldn’t find; about Zack and the life he doesn’t remember. She thinks about all of them, the ones she never found and who never found her. She thinks about Logan, about the virus that keeps him just out of reach. Max thinks about all the people she’s lost to the world and how close she came to losing another one. The world may be kicking her ass, but Alec’s still here, alive and sleeping in one of the buildings below. To Max, that seems like a victory.