(no subject)
Everyday, and as i open my eyes to the world in the morning, i battle with myself on who i am. I constantly question my self with those three simple words, "who am i?" Everyday, that image of myself grows stronger, and my mission on finding out who i am, becomes shorter. For the most part, i know who i am, and i'm proud to introduce that person to the world. I used to be "kept to myself," the girl with no confidence, and the girl who could never take a compliment. But i've realized, if i dont like myself, why should others like me? And i've come to realize also, this is who i am, and even plastic surgery won't change my personality, or my internal qualities. I'm the girl who will get along with anybody, if you give me a chance. I'm the girl who will make you laugh when your days are on the edge, i'm the girl who will always be there for you, no matter what comes in the way. I'm the girl who is dedicated to whatever i have to overcome in my life, i have patients, and will, and what i want in life, i'll strive for. I don't give up quickly, and i'm the kind of friend to be there till the end.
In my life, i've had to deal with situations that have brought me down, and have made me want to hide the person i am unfortunatly. But i reassure myself, thats a few people who think negative about me, out of hundreds. I am who i am, and those who bring me down, are missing out on getting to know me, for me. Those who judge me by my looks, are the people i dont want to associate with. Because those people don't even know what personality is, or what character qualities are. They care about a nice rack, and a tight ass. And those will be the people who will end up divorced at 45, because thier husband/wife isn't as attractive as he/she was 20 years ago, due to bad aging. I'm no one to judge, but i know what i'm talking about.
I've had my share of good boyfriends, and i've had my share of bad. And those experiences have also built me up to be the person i am today. And i wouldnt take back any of those experiences for the world. I have no regrets in my life, because you live and you learn. I've done stupid things, and things i look back now and question myself, "why the fuck did i do that!?" But if i hadn't experienced some of those situations, i garentee you, i probably wouldn't have the same outlook on life as i do now. Lifes a great thing, if you give a chance. And few months ago, i was stubborn. And held back on given life a chance. Until a friend of mine opened my eyes, and told me, "lifes what you make it.." That friend was my father. Hes one of the smartest men i know, and everything i know, i've learned from him. Hes guided me to get here.
Why i posted this.. i really dont know. But its not gonna hurt anyone. If anything, it will do what i want it to do. Inspire some of you out there, to not be so judgmental, and for others, to find yourself and give life the chance it deserves. I'm no one to tell any of you what to do. But i'm a good enough friend, to share what i've learned, and to give some of you the hope to strive for what you want in life. I'm only 15, im not 22, trying to make it on my own. I still have a lot more to learn, and i'm willing to keep my eyes open for how ever it takes to fully understand life, and to fully comprehend who i am as a person, as a girl, who i'll be as an aunt, as a wife, as a mother, and hopefully one day a grandma.
so... "lifes what you make it.."
i love you all...
<3 alana
<3 alana