(no subject)
my rabbi died today.
im so sad, i can't even express it. im crying so hard as i write this. he was like a grandfather figure to me, a mentor, a friend, one of the smartest and kindest men i knew. i sit here not knowing what to think. my dad says "he had nothing to live for, he was miserable..." but mind refuses to believe it. he gave so much, and asked nothing in return. as my rabbi, he trained me for my bat mitzvah, and was always there for me. he started a fund which he said was inspired by me to send other kids to camp that i loved so much. he had a new story or thing to teach me every time i visited. i feel like i've lost one of the people closest to me. i can't imagine not seeing him again. it hurts.
im such an emotional person, but i can't be around anyone right now. my mom tries to be the supportive person, asking if im alright, but my dad is the only one who knows to leave me alone. i can't imagine what i would do if i lost someone even closer to me that he was.
im scared of dying. people say they're not, but they are. if i died tomorrow, there would be so much left undone that i'd want to do. i wouldn't have told my best friend how i feel, my best friends how much they mean to me. i know im not 95, like he was, but i still feel like this.
i know this is depressing, but writing is the only way i know to truly express my feelings right now. im so sad.
God bless you, Rabbi Gordon.
Love,
Jessica
im so sad, i can't even express it. im crying so hard as i write this. he was like a grandfather figure to me, a mentor, a friend, one of the smartest and kindest men i knew. i sit here not knowing what to think. my dad says "he had nothing to live for, he was miserable..." but mind refuses to believe it. he gave so much, and asked nothing in return. as my rabbi, he trained me for my bat mitzvah, and was always there for me. he started a fund which he said was inspired by me to send other kids to camp that i loved so much. he had a new story or thing to teach me every time i visited. i feel like i've lost one of the people closest to me. i can't imagine not seeing him again. it hurts.
im such an emotional person, but i can't be around anyone right now. my mom tries to be the supportive person, asking if im alright, but my dad is the only one who knows to leave me alone. i can't imagine what i would do if i lost someone even closer to me that he was.
im scared of dying. people say they're not, but they are. if i died tomorrow, there would be so much left undone that i'd want to do. i wouldn't have told my best friend how i feel, my best friends how much they mean to me. i know im not 95, like he was, but i still feel like this.
i know this is depressing, but writing is the only way i know to truly express my feelings right now. im so sad.
God bless you, Rabbi Gordon.
Love,
Jessica