Lessons Learnt
Things I've Learned in London After Five Days-ish:
1. Clearly the phrase “Yield to pedestrians in crossing” forms no part of the British driving curriculum.
2. All mineral water, whether sparkling or still, comes from Wales.
3. Always act like you know what you’re doing.
4. Act like the weather doesn’t faze you.
5. You will fit right in, in looks if not in accent, simply by looking downtrodden and not looking at the sky.
6. There is absolutely no reason to ever take the bus.
7. It is entirely possible to orient yourself navigationally using any of the following franchise chains:
a. Boots Chemist
b. Starbucks
c. Pret a Manger
d. Subway
e. Superdrug
8. With a hearty breakfast and lots of walking, you can go straight through until dinner on only a bottle of water or two.
9. Always have a camera handy.
10. The sights surrounding you are most likely completely fascinating and positively obscure and no one except you cares.
11. Water is served cool, without ice.
12. If in doubt about when to cross the street: wait for someone else to move first.
13. Crossing at anywhere but a crosswalk is a lethal proposition.
14. There is no such thing as a “cold” drink. Everything is either “cool” or “chilled.”
15. THE TOILET PAPER IS IN RECTANGULAR NON-CONTINUOUS SECTIONS.
16. Subway has ice.
17. But no water.
18. The toilets are annoying. (you are in a box. That costs 20 p)
19. “Water pressure” happens to submarines-not to your shower.
20. There are no trash cans. There are people who get paid to pick up the trash that people throw on the ground…because there are no trash cans.
21. There are no speed limit signs anywhere. The speed limit seems to be somewhere between “to driving conditions” and “common sense.”
22. Water in the hotel is either lukewarm or hot.
23. Virtually no pubs in London serve brown ale anymore, so it is virtually impossible to get a proper Black-and-Tan.
24. Pubs close promptly at 11pm.
1. Clearly the phrase “Yield to pedestrians in crossing” forms no part of the British driving curriculum.
2. All mineral water, whether sparkling or still, comes from Wales.
3. Always act like you know what you’re doing.
4. Act like the weather doesn’t faze you.
5. You will fit right in, in looks if not in accent, simply by looking downtrodden and not looking at the sky.
6. There is absolutely no reason to ever take the bus.
7. It is entirely possible to orient yourself navigationally using any of the following franchise chains:
a. Boots Chemist
b. Starbucks
c. Pret a Manger
d. Subway
e. Superdrug
8. With a hearty breakfast and lots of walking, you can go straight through until dinner on only a bottle of water or two.
9. Always have a camera handy.
10. The sights surrounding you are most likely completely fascinating and positively obscure and no one except you cares.
11. Water is served cool, without ice.
12. If in doubt about when to cross the street: wait for someone else to move first.
13. Crossing at anywhere but a crosswalk is a lethal proposition.
14. There is no such thing as a “cold” drink. Everything is either “cool” or “chilled.”
15. THE TOILET PAPER IS IN RECTANGULAR NON-CONTINUOUS SECTIONS.
16. Subway has ice.
17. But no water.
18. The toilets are annoying. (you are in a box. That costs 20 p)
19. “Water pressure” happens to submarines-not to your shower.
20. There are no trash cans. There are people who get paid to pick up the trash that people throw on the ground…because there are no trash cans.
21. There are no speed limit signs anywhere. The speed limit seems to be somewhere between “to driving conditions” and “common sense.”
22. Water in the hotel is either lukewarm or hot.
23. Virtually no pubs in London serve brown ale anymore, so it is virtually impossible to get a proper Black-and-Tan.
24. Pubs close promptly at 11pm.