Phantom Hair... And Kittens.
It's funny, when my hair was braided before, the knot/elastic at the end of it hung down to around my waist, and I'm so used to it being there that if I'm sitting/laying down and there's anything against my back, I automatically pull at my now-nonexistent hair to try to move it. ^^; I'm still not used to having short hair, I guess...
....
I've been having a lot of trouble with myself emotionally-speaking lately. Hence all the really short posts and random links the last few days... I think I was just trying to avoid talking about it, and maybe get my mind off of how depressed I actually am.
Part of my problem is that everyone looks at me and thinks I'm doing fine. But that's mostly because when there are other people around, I force myself to look cheerful... I don't want them to worry, or to bring everyone else down with me.
So Mom or Trunks or any of my friends or family look at me, and they see me as being a little muted in my enthusiasm (as opposed to how they're used to me being), but otherwise okay. Everyone seems to think I should be fine to go out and live a normal life again, when inside I'm just falling apart. I'm living on the verge of tears all the time, not that they have any way of knowing that.
There's still no word on my Medical UI claim, which means no money still. It's been two months now. I'm starting to think they'll never get around to processing it, and Mom is still paying for everything for me...
I got back my application for the drug plan I signed up for, and was approved; but I already know that two of my six prescriptions aren't covered under it, and that's $500 (or so) worth of drugs right there, not counting the deductible and etc. that I have to pay for the plan itself. And I don't know about the other four prescriptions, either... for all I know, none of them are covered, in which case I'm screwed.
I can't handle this. I'm breaking down, I'm freaking out... and nobody even notices because I feel the need to put up a front and shield myself from the rest of the world.
I'm so far into the proverbial gutter at this point that I can't even get up the enthusiasm to write anymore, and that's where my emotional outlet is--without my writing, all of my depression and angst stays boiling inside me, and just gets worse. The more depressed I get, the less I write. It's a cruel circle.
Sterling: :.....:
Keir: :Sena...:
Jack: Is she always like this? O_O;;
Sterling: :Lately, yes...:
Kuso ne.
....
And to end on a completely random note, dragonchan pimped this in her LJ, and I feel I need to do the same; The Joker music video. Crawling with kittens, it is!
*dies of the cuteness*
X_x;
EDIT: Also, I woke up at 3 in the morning last night feeling violently nauseous, and I'm starting to feel that way again. =_=;; *pets friendly Gravol package*
....
I've been having a lot of trouble with myself emotionally-speaking lately. Hence all the really short posts and random links the last few days... I think I was just trying to avoid talking about it, and maybe get my mind off of how depressed I actually am.
Part of my problem is that everyone looks at me and thinks I'm doing fine. But that's mostly because when there are other people around, I force myself to look cheerful... I don't want them to worry, or to bring everyone else down with me.
So Mom or Trunks or any of my friends or family look at me, and they see me as being a little muted in my enthusiasm (as opposed to how they're used to me being), but otherwise okay. Everyone seems to think I should be fine to go out and live a normal life again, when inside I'm just falling apart. I'm living on the verge of tears all the time, not that they have any way of knowing that.
There's still no word on my Medical UI claim, which means no money still. It's been two months now. I'm starting to think they'll never get around to processing it, and Mom is still paying for everything for me...
I got back my application for the drug plan I signed up for, and was approved; but I already know that two of my six prescriptions aren't covered under it, and that's $500 (or so) worth of drugs right there, not counting the deductible and etc. that I have to pay for the plan itself. And I don't know about the other four prescriptions, either... for all I know, none of them are covered, in which case I'm screwed.
I can't handle this. I'm breaking down, I'm freaking out... and nobody even notices because I feel the need to put up a front and shield myself from the rest of the world.
I'm so far into the proverbial gutter at this point that I can't even get up the enthusiasm to write anymore, and that's where my emotional outlet is--without my writing, all of my depression and angst stays boiling inside me, and just gets worse. The more depressed I get, the less I write. It's a cruel circle.
Sterling: :.....:
Keir: :Sena...:
Jack: Is she always like this? O_O;;
Sterling: :Lately, yes...:
Kuso ne.
....
And to end on a completely random note, dragonchan pimped this in her LJ, and I feel I need to do the same; The Joker music video. Crawling with kittens, it is!
*dies of the cuteness*
X_x;
EDIT: Also, I woke up at 3 in the morning last night feeling violently nauseous, and I'm starting to feel that way again. =_=;; *pets friendly Gravol package*