The Delicate Balance.
Reality is hideous, never lovely, just plain tragic.
She grabbed his hair and pulled his head towards her.
“Get your father to take some fucking responsibilities.”
The Park bloodline: the cursed blood that contaminates my every cell.
The surname which she grew to hate.
Her soulless eyes spoke of the weariness;
Of the burden she was made to bear;
The responsibility shoved to her,
The moment she was labeled “Mother”.
There was no love.
I no longer laugh nor cry.
Just a living zombie.
________________________________________
I am afraid of the consequence,
You, my light, my hope, will bring along.
I fear of becoming human,
To bare my heart, and
Have it stabbed a million times
You said everything will be fine, but
It is too good to be true.
_____________________________
I hated you.
Hated you for your happy family,
Hated you for your contagious laughter,
Hated you for your angelic smile, and
For having no idea what crap I've went through.
You are everything I wanted to be,
Everything I wanted to possess, and
Everything that I am not.
Your presence is a heart-stabbing reminder of my feeble worth.
__________________________________________________
And yet, there is such a fine line between love and hatred.
When did my hatred dissolve?
&
When did it evolve into love?
Was it when you shed your first drop of tear in front of me?
You were crying.
Not for yourself…… but for me.
Why?
A stranger….
Who understood my anguish,
Who shed his tears for my wretched life,
Who swore to make me laugh again
Or was it the time,
When you gently encircled your arms from behind, around my trembling body?
The rain was mercilessly pounding on us, and yet
It could not extinguish the fire that spread through my entire body.
Like a fire let loose,
Emotions kept within the four walls of my heart burst into flames.
It burnt and filled my empty shell.
With every rhythmic beat, volumes of blood pumped into every withering cell,
Bringing forth warmth as it proliferated through my capillaries in every direction.
You’ve revived my motionless heart, mind and soul.
Bit by bit, a drop by a drop, you've diluted my pool of hatred……
“Let’s what?” I stuttered.
No way.
It was impossible.
I shook my head furiously, unable to comprehend.
I bit onto my trembling lips, sealing my whimper within.
Blurred vision; with tears threatening to overflow,
I stared at him in disbelief.
You took a deep breath.
“I said, let's get married. “
Holding the pair of trembling hands,
Your tender eyes locked with my dilated iris.
“Yoochun, will you marry me?”
Staggering backwards, and
At that instant,
I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
The promise. The security. The peace.
Do you know how long I had waited to hear those words?
A new sensation;
A cold metal kiss;
A mark of possession;
I belong to you, only you.
Simply junsu’s.