And the rains will fall.........
I can't really remember all the moments I thought I should post on the blog when they happened but just didn't feel like doing it that day. Why do I do that? Oh, well, it's not like life is very exciting these days. And today I am not doing well mentally. Why? Because I've been inside all day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and so far Saturday. A Nor'easter hit, combined with Ida from the Gulf of Mexico, and pretty much ruined everything where I live. It's been raining and gray and cold and everything shut down (schools, governments, the gym, etc), so there's really nothing to do even if you could get out.
I am going stir crazy. I was so sad that today I couldn't get to the gym. I was hoping to spend several hours working everything, both to make up for lost gym time and to just feel better. Spend time in the sauna, get nice and warm. But I can't. I'm so sad, and feeling like my mind is going to leave me at any moment.
Earlier this week I got really sad because I realized I couldn't follow the plan I had set for myself. I was going to become a school teacher utilizing a program Virginia has for people to become teachers really quickly, but I don't meet one of their requirements. You have to have at least five years of full-time work experience to qualify, and I just don't have that because of spending so much time in grad school, working part-time during grad school, not working as an undergrad (big mistake that nobody warned me of at the time), and several years of unemployment after being sick and after graduating. Such is my luck. And I called a ton of people and there are no exceptions, you must meet that requirement. Too bad, I was really hoping to do that and be a teacher really soon. You'd think they would want someone to be a teacher, especially since I was going to teach a subject that they always need teachers for (high school math), and I was going to work for an inner-city school system like Richmond.
So now I have to think of something else to do. I really had my heart set on what I had determined to do, and it fit my timeline very well. I have to have my stuff out of storage by mid-April, and I need to know where I'll be by then, and with this setback it makes it harder to know.
On top of everything else, I thought I had taken care of the unemployment issue, but now they want to have a phone interview to make sure I am eligible. I hope they determine in my favor. My old HR director told me exactly what she'd say if the employment commission called, and I hope she sticks to what she told me, because if she does I have nothing to worry about. But if they deny me this, then another part of my plan will be ruined because I was hoping to save up the money I would collect from them to help pay for a new apartment.
It just really feels like everything is falling apart, and I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I would honestly rather just die because I can't see how things are going to get OK again. My life has just been one big mess. I'm once again the most unemployable person around--too much education for simple jobs and not enough experience for jobs I have the education for.
I'm tired of this. I really was looking forward to being out of college and being a professional, but it looks like I may be going back to school for something, either a Ph. D. or still become a teacher the old school way by getting a master's degree in education. And then I will either be a teacher or a professor. I just may very well be in academia the rest of my life. Not so bad, really. I just need to figure out everything I need to do and make lists and work my ass off.
I am going stir crazy. I was so sad that today I couldn't get to the gym. I was hoping to spend several hours working everything, both to make up for lost gym time and to just feel better. Spend time in the sauna, get nice and warm. But I can't. I'm so sad, and feeling like my mind is going to leave me at any moment.
Earlier this week I got really sad because I realized I couldn't follow the plan I had set for myself. I was going to become a school teacher utilizing a program Virginia has for people to become teachers really quickly, but I don't meet one of their requirements. You have to have at least five years of full-time work experience to qualify, and I just don't have that because of spending so much time in grad school, working part-time during grad school, not working as an undergrad (big mistake that nobody warned me of at the time), and several years of unemployment after being sick and after graduating. Such is my luck. And I called a ton of people and there are no exceptions, you must meet that requirement. Too bad, I was really hoping to do that and be a teacher really soon. You'd think they would want someone to be a teacher, especially since I was going to teach a subject that they always need teachers for (high school math), and I was going to work for an inner-city school system like Richmond.
So now I have to think of something else to do. I really had my heart set on what I had determined to do, and it fit my timeline very well. I have to have my stuff out of storage by mid-April, and I need to know where I'll be by then, and with this setback it makes it harder to know.
On top of everything else, I thought I had taken care of the unemployment issue, but now they want to have a phone interview to make sure I am eligible. I hope they determine in my favor. My old HR director told me exactly what she'd say if the employment commission called, and I hope she sticks to what she told me, because if she does I have nothing to worry about. But if they deny me this, then another part of my plan will be ruined because I was hoping to save up the money I would collect from them to help pay for a new apartment.
It just really feels like everything is falling apart, and I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I would honestly rather just die because I can't see how things are going to get OK again. My life has just been one big mess. I'm once again the most unemployable person around--too much education for simple jobs and not enough experience for jobs I have the education for.
I'm tired of this. I really was looking forward to being out of college and being a professional, but it looks like I may be going back to school for something, either a Ph. D. or still become a teacher the old school way by getting a master's degree in education. And then I will either be a teacher or a professor. I just may very well be in academia the rest of my life. Not so bad, really. I just need to figure out everything I need to do and make lists and work my ass off.