Gee, how quickly things change....
I had a lovely time in Richmond, and then had to go back to Norfolk where what awaited me was more heartache. I have had way too much stress in my life in a short period of time.
It was inevitable, but I didn't realize it would have to come so quickly. I moved out of my place Monday night. Had to call friends over, there were only four of us, but a friend that I haven't even known very long offered a couple of weeks ago for me to store my stuff at his place if I needed to, and I took him up on that. So after many hours of rushed packing (so I have no clue where most things are at this point), and loading the tons of furniture I have into a U-Haul, I was out of there.
My head hurts. I've had a headache that hasn't stopped for several days now. I cry often with no warning. I feel so lost. I have never had to be homeless, which is basically what I am at this point. I never before had to store my stuff somewhere because I couldn't live in a place of my own. This feels awful.
The house is in Suffolk, which creates more worry for me. I am so used to living in an urban neighborhood and having everything I need within walking distance. I don't have that out here. Stuart did offer to let me stay at his place if I needed to, if I stored my stuff somewhere and needed a place to stay. Pete is allright with that, so at least a few nights a week I will be staying with Stuart to maintain some presence in Ghent and having that urban life going on, being able to walk around and hopefully see friends who live nearby.
I also seriously need to spend more time in Richmond looking for a place to live if that's really where I am going to end up. I was hoping to not have to have this in-between stage of storing my belongings, but I am broke and have no choice at the moment. It's scary how quickly this can happen, and to all of you who haven't had to deal with it, you are so lucky. To those who have, I completely sympathize.
So it did make me break down and cry when I came here because I can't function out here in suburbia without a vehicle. It's impossible. I need to live in a city. I have stuff like the Internet and cable TV, which is nice, but it's not the same. I can't even walk to the YMCA. I don't know how to live like this. I really need something to happen soon.
I need a place to live so I can get my stuff out of storage and live with it. That will help me feel so much better. I would love to get to Richmond. Just living there will help me feel better. Just one weekend there made me feel better, so hopefully I can make this work with some help.
As far as jobs, who knows how that will play out. I am still toying with the idea of becoming a teacher, and there is always the idea of getting a Ph.D. and becoming a professor, getting the chance to do research and publish my ideas of things concerning city planning and have a broader audience than just the people I talk to or who read my blogs (which isn't a large crowd). If I can't make a difference in some city or with a private firm, then hopefully I can make a difference through published work. Maybe, maybe not.
But one thing is for sure: Academia has been the place I have thrived. I love college, I love the atmosphere in a university setting, I love the access to great discussions and lectures and cultural events that universities provide. Maybe that is where I belong after all. So, now it's time to, once again, make applications. Determine a list of schools, order more rounds of transcripts, all that fun stuff. Heaven help me.
As you can see, I am not very stable. Can't decide which path I truly want to take. In one respect I would love to work and be out of school, in another I'd be happy going back to school, and in another I'd be happy teaching high school. What is a poor boy with no connections to do?
It was inevitable, but I didn't realize it would have to come so quickly. I moved out of my place Monday night. Had to call friends over, there were only four of us, but a friend that I haven't even known very long offered a couple of weeks ago for me to store my stuff at his place if I needed to, and I took him up on that. So after many hours of rushed packing (so I have no clue where most things are at this point), and loading the tons of furniture I have into a U-Haul, I was out of there.
My head hurts. I've had a headache that hasn't stopped for several days now. I cry often with no warning. I feel so lost. I have never had to be homeless, which is basically what I am at this point. I never before had to store my stuff somewhere because I couldn't live in a place of my own. This feels awful.
The house is in Suffolk, which creates more worry for me. I am so used to living in an urban neighborhood and having everything I need within walking distance. I don't have that out here. Stuart did offer to let me stay at his place if I needed to, if I stored my stuff somewhere and needed a place to stay. Pete is allright with that, so at least a few nights a week I will be staying with Stuart to maintain some presence in Ghent and having that urban life going on, being able to walk around and hopefully see friends who live nearby.
I also seriously need to spend more time in Richmond looking for a place to live if that's really where I am going to end up. I was hoping to not have to have this in-between stage of storing my belongings, but I am broke and have no choice at the moment. It's scary how quickly this can happen, and to all of you who haven't had to deal with it, you are so lucky. To those who have, I completely sympathize.
So it did make me break down and cry when I came here because I can't function out here in suburbia without a vehicle. It's impossible. I need to live in a city. I have stuff like the Internet and cable TV, which is nice, but it's not the same. I can't even walk to the YMCA. I don't know how to live like this. I really need something to happen soon.
I need a place to live so I can get my stuff out of storage and live with it. That will help me feel so much better. I would love to get to Richmond. Just living there will help me feel better. Just one weekend there made me feel better, so hopefully I can make this work with some help.
As far as jobs, who knows how that will play out. I am still toying with the idea of becoming a teacher, and there is always the idea of getting a Ph.D. and becoming a professor, getting the chance to do research and publish my ideas of things concerning city planning and have a broader audience than just the people I talk to or who read my blogs (which isn't a large crowd). If I can't make a difference in some city or with a private firm, then hopefully I can make a difference through published work. Maybe, maybe not.
But one thing is for sure: Academia has been the place I have thrived. I love college, I love the atmosphere in a university setting, I love the access to great discussions and lectures and cultural events that universities provide. Maybe that is where I belong after all. So, now it's time to, once again, make applications. Determine a list of schools, order more rounds of transcripts, all that fun stuff. Heaven help me.
As you can see, I am not very stable. Can't decide which path I truly want to take. In one respect I would love to work and be out of school, in another I'd be happy going back to school, and in another I'd be happy teaching high school. What is a poor boy with no connections to do?