Brothers & Sisters - Forgiveness

Jun 04, 2011 22:00

Title: Forgiveness
Author: semisweetsoul
Fandom: Brothers & Sisters
Characters: Scotty, Wally and Kevin
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG
Prompt: from whence we came @tamingthemuse
Summary: Scotty asks his father for comfort.
Spoilers: 5.08
Word Count: 2,614 words
Disclaimer: Not mine! Please, don't sue!
A/N: Help me find a better title! I can't now. A scary storm is looming on the horizon, and I want to post it before it's here.
ETA: On second thought, I think this title works well at describing both Scotty's intention towards both his father and Kevin.



Forgiveness
After he accumulated many rookie mistakes in the kitchen, at Saul’s strong suggestion, and for the sake of his patron, Scotty let his sous-chef took over for him. The previous night, the unrest, unrelenting, had kept him awake and incapable to focus his mind on anything but self-loathing.

Maybe taking a nap this afternoon would help bring sleep sooner tonight. After an hour tussling with the sheets and his own self, he decided to change his strategy.

In his younger days, he used to go to his dad when he couldn’t find sleep. Sometimes, Wally read him a bed time story-usually a comic book-and some other time, they sneaked in the study and played checkers or chess until sleepiness overtook him. His mother could not conceive her husband’s and son’s inclination for the early hours of the night. She ruled her household with an iron hand, deciding of their every move; one of the reasons that when he hit puberty, Scotty found himself longing for a different environment, less restrictive, more relaxed and spontaneous. On the eve of his eighteenth birthday, beaming with self-confidence, he announced to his parents his intention to leave for New York with his friend Michelle to take acting classes. He received mixed reviews from his family. His father wished him luck, supportive of his choice yet a little jealous that his son would try to follow his dream, while his mother denigrated his aspiration of Broadway grandeur that crashed her own objective for her son to attend a prestigious college only conceivable path to a bright future. Scotty left home so angry he forgot the apprehensions such a radical change caused.

In New York, the little boy from Oxford, Mississippi, discovered the big city, which proffered him his first real boy crush, food crush, musical crush, and big deception when they all let him down in a matter of days. Sad and lonely and homesick-even though he hated to admit it and any kind of failure in general-he came back to his roots, and rang the bell to his childhood house, worried of a glacial greeting after so many months of silence. Showing up on his parents’ doorstep felt like tossing a coin, one in two chances they opened the door and let him in. The smiles and glimmers of joy he perceived in their eyes made him wonder why he did not come home sooner. They welcomed him with open arms. That day he realized that nothing he could do would stop them from loving him in their contained and discreet way, without an outpouring of sentiments. Less than a week later, he had left with his dad old Ranchero try his luck in California, biding his goodbye through a hastily-scrambled post-it note stuck on the fridge door. He wondered if his father would be so prompt as to let him be a part of his life the next time he reappeared on the porch.

Two years had passed since he found out about his parents’ separation. While waiting for his father at the hotel, he had caught sight of him in the company of another woman, younger and prettier than his mother, what a cliché! For three days, he had refused to believe his father could do such a low and stupid thing as cheating. The values he inherited from his upbringing put such a stigma on adultery that he felt the sting of betrayal almost as strongly as his mother. He took side with her, and even tried to convince her to file for divorce citing adultery in the petition. Kevin meddled saying it would do more harm than good, and Bertha finally opted to cite irreconcilable differences. A judge pronounced the court decision a few months later. His mother had moved on, or wanted him to believe she had. Somehow, the ordeal had brought them closer. As for his dad, Scotty had crossed him out of his life for good.

Yet today, he regretted his decision. Only his father would be able to satisfy his need for comfort. There was no point in arguing with himself any longer: he had to make that call. If only he could put his hand on his address book, where he remembered writing down a land line number he received via e-mail after the hotel debacle. He nearly tore the apartment down to find the precious book back. When he did, the urge to call that drove him to such lengths was fading away. Tragic scenarios, all ending with Wally refusing to talk to him, invaded his mind. The jumble of his thoughts made him hard for Scotty to set his mind on a clear decision. It seemed obvious, though. He had spent an hour at least, thinking about his dad, had turned the living room upside down to find a phone number. He would not chicken out, now. His fingers quivered when he dialed the phone. He held his breath at each ring tone, when finally he heard someone pick up.

The voice on the other line, with a young and cheerful intonation, puzzled him. “Hello?”

He wasn’t expecting a child to answer, and as far as he knew, his father’s friends did not have children in that age range. Scotty shifted in his seat from the surprise and his eyes met a picture of Kevin and William Walker, serial cheater. In less time than he thought possible, he imagined his father supporting a second family, wife and children and dogs-his mother firmly against owning an animal-and living in perfect paradise, before coming back to his living hell, his lawful wife and offspring.

The voice on the other end asked again, and another one-deeper, more feminine, and getting impatient- took the matter in hand. “Hello? Shirley, speaking. Who is it?”

Scotty regained control of his ability to form words. “Hi. Hi. Sorry. I … umm. Is this Wally Wandell’s residence?”

“Yes, it is. May I ask who’s calling?”

Scotty let out a long sigh that he hoped sounded more confused than desperate or frustrated. Distracted, he had forgotten to introduce himself. “I’m Scotty. Scotty Wandell. Wally’s son.”

“Oh! Sure. Scotty! I know who you are. I’ve heard so much about you; it’s nice to finally hear your voice.” He understood she covered the speaking part of the receiver with the palm of her hand, when he perceived a muffled noise resembling her voice, asking a little boy she named Vince to go get Wally who was in the garden, fixing the fence or trimming the edge. A revelation. The father he grew up with wasn’t particularly known for his green thumb or handyman abilities.

During the two minutes Wally took to reach the phone, Scotty had time to settle in his favorite position on the couch, a comforter spread on his crossed-legs, his favorite cushion that he bit when anxious on his lap, the receiver propped against his shoulder and neck.

“Scott? Is everything okay?” Wally said, his breathing loud, as if worry had made him run faster than necessary.

“Hey Dad.”

For an instant, Scotty didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t heard his father’s voice in so long. At that moment, he realized the extent of his foolishness. “I’m sorry I haven’t called earlier.”

“It’s okay. I know how busy you are.”

“Yes, it’s pretty busy around here.” A half-sigh, half-chuckle escaped from his lips. “So, Shirley and Vince seem nice.”

Wally didn’t respond which led Scotty to believe he hit a touchy subject. “Scotty, I meant to tell you, and… in person.”

“You don’t have to explain, Dad.”

“I’ll tell you what, if you and Kevin find yourself in the neighborhood, come visit. I’d be happy to hug my son… and son-in-law.”

“Thank you for the invitation. We’ll think about it.”

“So,” Wally asked his tone clearer and appeased, “why are you calling? Is everything okay?”

Scotty’s instinct wanted to answer no. Instead he bit his lip, clenched his teeth to lock inside the emotions he feared would burst out of him and render him shameful and even more pained. “Sure, we’re fine!”

He sounded like Kevin trying to keep a secret: unconvincing.

“Scotty, you can tell me if something’s on your mind.”

The cushion, full of teeth mark, would soon collect tears, bitter tears, by buckets. “Seems that I can’t hide things from you, Dad. Not when I was a child, even now that I’m an adult, with tons of responsibilities.”

“I’ve developed a father’s intuition thanks to a little boy full of emotions.”

A smile illuminated Scotty’s face contrasting with the sorrow apparent in his eyes. His father was right, though he did feel like the ordeals he went through nearly living in the street-a particularly unpleasant part of his life-had toughened him up a lot.

“I wanted to apologize. I acted all offended and righteous when I saw you with that woman in the hotel. I should have listened to you and tried to understand instead of just lashing out at you. I picked Mom’s side without hearing your version of what happened.”

“I never meant for you to find out this way. I intended to tell you at lunch that day, but you left so fast.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that, too.”

“Kevin told me you needed time. He also told me about his father, and how he forgave him with time.”

“He did?” Scotty wiped a tear running on his cheek. “So I can hope he forgives me, too.”

“What do you mean?” Wally asked, and Scotty realized that his last thought had escaped his mind. “I screwed up, Dad.”

“You mean, you-”

“Yes. I’m not very proud of it.”

Wally remained silent, as if absorbing the brunt of the shock.

“Dad?”

“I’m listening.”

“You can judge me. I did judge you.”

Wally felt a little uneasy at Scotty’s confession. In the Wandell family, they kept matters of the heart private. He hardly ever knew of Scotty’s love life until Kevin showed up on his doorstep and asked of him and Bertha to come celebrate a relationship, which existence they ignored. They refused to acknowledge Kevin and Scotty as a legitimate couple back then. With time, they embraced the situation. It never occurred to him that such a problem would arise; he always thought Scotty incapable of hurting people. At least on purpose. Scotty a cheater would have sounded like an inanity, his son the poster child for faithfulness.

“Dad?”

“Yes.”

“Say something!”

“What do you want me to say, Scott?”

Scotty heard the deception in his father’s tone of voice.

“Say you still love me. I might lose Kevin. I can’t lose you, too.”

Scotty recognized the temperament, calm and contained. People always compared the father and son personalities, and commented on how much he looked like his mother, better that than the contrary. He loved both his parents, but Bertha’s strictness and narrow-mindedness did not find an echo with his own disposition.

“Scotty, I will never stop being your father, you know that.”

“Thank you. It’s exactly what I needed to hear.” He took a deep breath, finally able to regain some composure. “I won’t bother you any longer.”

“You’re not bothering me at all. You can talk to me, son, if that makes you feel better.”

Scotty had never imagined his father as a confidant when it came to his marital troubles, maybe if he kept it simple, and vague, it was worth a try. “Well. A lot happened this past year. Somehow, Kevin and I lost each other. We took different paths. I took the dangerous one. If only I could go back.”

Obviously, he needed to pour his heart out. Why didn’t he come out with it earlier? He let guilt nibble its way into his head, his heart, and his life for months before the burden became too heavy for him to carry. He had to deal with the consequences. “If only Kevin would hear me out.”

“Maybe, you have to give him time.”

“He’s been sleeping on Kitty’s couch for two weeks, now.”

“I don’t know Kevin that well, but I know that men have a pride, and his seems quite developed.” Scotty laughed a bit at that statement, so true, and it helped him relaxed a little.

“I also know that, regardless of my reservation concerning your relationship with him, I saw you change. You gained in maturity so fast these last three years, and I guess he deserves some credit. He helped you become the man you are today.”

“Funny you say that, Nora told me the exact same thing about Kevin yesterday.” Scotty smiled. He wished everyone would be as quick as to give him a second chance as his father, and Kevin’s mother and siblings.

“Everyone can see you complete each other.” He paused, as though he did not want to pursue, and already made his point. “Be determined. He drove all the way to Arizona to plead his case.”

“It didn’t work out so well.”

“We were not ready and too entangled in our old morals.”

“I can’t blame you, I wasn’t even sure I was ready.”

“Go to Kevin, plead your case. What do you have to lose?”

“Dad?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you, and-” he pondered but decided to ask the question burning his tongue since the conversation started. “Just… why didn’t you plead your own case to mom?” The silence told its own story. Out of sympathy or decency, Scotty pretended not to understand. “Never mind.” In all honesty, his parents staying together so many years remained a mystery to him. “I don’t know Shirley and Vince, but I’m looking forward to meeting them someday.”

“When Kevin and you are in a better place. Take a few days off. To change your mind, recharge your batteries.”

“Okay. Thank you. And thank you for trying to cheer me up. It means a lot to me.”

“No problem. Don’t wait another two years to pick up the phone, you have my number.”

“I do. I love you, Dad. Bye.”

He hung up the phone, content. He closed his eyes, imagining his father’s life with a woman a young boy, and regretted making the call all about him. How rude of him! He knew nothing about the woman sharing his father’s life, except that she had a young son. He promised himself to call his dad at least once a month, and fix his mistake. He would send them an invitation to Café 429, and he’d make them right away. Action would certainly help prevent self-reproach to destroy his regained confidence to save his marriage.

He opened his eyes and found himself face to face with Kevin.

“Hi!”

“Hi. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be chopping, or baking, or roasting things downstairs?”

“Saul, kicked me out.”

“Finally, someone on my side.”

“Actually, it wasn’t the reason. A sleep-deprived chef is a danger waiting to happen.”

“A sleep-deprived lawyer is, too. Especially in court.”

“You needed something in particular?”

“Clean shirts.”

“Come home, and I’ll iron them for you.”

“Nice offer, but I’ll pass.”

In a flash, Kevin entered the bedroom, opened the right drawer, grabbed a few shirts and an extra pair of pants, and exited the room determination all over his face. He feared that staying a little longer might shake his beliefs, and instill doubt in his mind.

“Before you go, let me do one thing.”

Kevin’s apparent detachment left Scotty no choice. He pushed him to take place on the couch. Kevin looked at him, defeated, about to break. "What?"

“Plead my case.”

The End

character: wandell wally, 2011, genre: hurt/comfort, !fan fiction, fandom: brothers & sisters, character: walker kevin, rating: pg, @ tamingthemuse, character: wandell scotty

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