Brothers & Sisters - The book aka Kevin's journal
Title: The book aka Kevin's journal
Author: semisweetsoul
Character: Kevin
Rating: G
Prompt: January OYTAWL Challenge: Write a journal entry for one of your characters (fanfic or original) @ getyourwordsout
Spoilers: S05 I think.
Word Count: 1,131 words
Disclaimer: Not mine, okay!
A/N: The timeline confuses me. I hate time jumps. But I followed the one Scotty mentions in 5.06 An Ideal Husband.
The book aka Kevin's journal
September 2007 - 10:10 PM
I’ve just read the latest entry and, wow! It feels like a lifetime ago. Yet, the feeling I described back then is pretty similar to the one I’m going through right now. How sad is that? I’ll come to that later.
When I found the book back last week I never intended to write anything inside. I remember I used to call it “the book” so Sarah or Kit wouldn’t “accidentally” read it. God! Thank God they never did. I took it out of the closet-no pun intended-out of curiosity. Three years of gay teenage angst told on fifty pages. A testimony of who I used to be back then.
So. Here I am, two decades later, in my office. (Yeah, I have an office. I’ m a lawyer. ) Some things don’t change. I’m alone. I remember that day. The day Danny left for college without saying goodbye. I never heard of him. Ever again. And now Jason’s gone. I haven’t heard a word from him in two months. No, 7 weeks 3 days 14 hours and 23 minutes. 24…. 25….
It hurts. Why do they all have to abandon me? Like Dad. Dad! It would require an entire notebook to tell all his shenanigans. Not tonight. I should go home. My bed awaits. Empty. (sigh!)
May 11, 2008 - 3:45 AM
Scotty said “I do”! Long story short: I proposed (Yes! Me! Of all people!) And he said “yes” and tonight we had our commitment ceremony at Mom’s and it was perfect and I didn’t know it was possible to be so happy. I know I sound gay but news flash, I am!
PS: Uncle Saul’s gay, too. I had no idea. I guess the infamous gaydar doesn’t work with family members.
November 5, 2008
I didn’t make partner. I ruined the slight chance of someday having a relationship with my in-laws. Scotty hates me, now. They were right. I’m not mature enough to hold such a position.
November 8, 2008
I seem to darken the pages of the book when I’m either very happy or very sad. Let’s hope there’s more ups than downs to come.
PS: Find a safe place to store the book. Stop wandering around with it. It’s asking for troubles. Yeah, I’m talking about the sisters.
April 2009
Oh, Tommy! I don’t get it! I’m so angry and frustrated! He claims he’s not Dad, but he is! A liar, a cheater, an embezzler! And God knows what!
Julia doesn’t deserve him. I swear if he hurts Lizzie, I…
October 2009
I learned something today. Something I can’t tell anyone. I promised. Although, here it’s safe, right? It’s like telling myself.
Okay.
Here goes. Kitty’s sick. Really sick. Stage 3 cancer sick. She has a young son. A husband. A family. And a self-centered annoying gay brother who cannot imagine his life without her. She can’t die.
I’m not crying, I’m not.
November 2009
Scotty and I are trying for a baby. I’m so excited! We’re so excited!
I just hope Kitty will get to know her niece or nephew.
March 2010
Some crazy good news:
- Mom and Holly got arrested! Priceless!
- Justin and Rebecca got married.
- Kitty’s cancer free.
- And we’re waiting to see if Michelle’s pregnant! I’m sure she is.
May 2010
Michelle’s pregnant!
The words Kevin Walker and father, together for real! Amazing! I like to think Dad would have supported me during that process. Everyone seems genuinely happy for us. I know I complain a lot about my siblings, but they help me grow all these years. I wouldn’t be the same person if it weren’t for them all. And Bingo! He taught me the puppy dog face!
September 19, 2010
It has been a rough few months. I’ve wanted to write this down for awhile, but I couldn’t find the words.
Back in early June we lost Ojai Foods. It was heartbreaking. No more family business. I avoid that road. Too many memories. Not all of them good. (Aaron.)
In late June, we were in a smash up. Robert was critically injured. The doctors put him in a coma. He’s been on life support ever since. We all know that he’s never waking up. Kitty doesn’t want to hear it. She needs time to face the harsh reality.
Holly’s head trauma although severe, isn’t life-threatening. Memory loss is to be expected.
Saul’s HIV positive. He’s been for the last two decades. He had no idea. He acts as though nothing’s changed. I’m worried. If only he would confide in me.
In all the craziness, Justin chose to run away. I can understand running away from an emotionally complex situation and responsibilities, but I can’t understand running away to a more emotionally complex situation and more responsibilities. Mom didn’t try to stop him this time. He left for Afghanistan. Rebecca’s been distant with all the Walkers ever since. She must be angry. I can’t blame her. Her mom’s in a hospital bed and her husband leaves to go fight for his country. I hope he’ll come home safe. We can’t lose someone else. Especially Justin.
June sucked (and that’s an understatement). July sucked, too. I had hope for August until the hospital called. Michelle (our surrogate) had a miscarriage. Another one. They said it can happen in the second trimester. Is that supposed to comfort me? It’s a taboo subject at home. Scotty can’t talk about I, now. I can’t talk about the accident with him either. I guess we’re even.
Every conversation revolves around the restaurant. I know people tend to focus on work to avoid dealing with personal problems but I’m right here 24/7 and it’s like he can’t see me. So tonight, I played hooky. I was at a bar, drowning in self-pity. I’m not ashamed of it even a little. It was the grand opening, tonight. And I missed it on purpose.
I want to support him, I do. But it’s his dream, not mine. I don’t know how to reach him. And now, he’s going to be even busier, and so will I as soon as I start taking clients. Maybe I should be added on the menu! Legal advice from Kevin Walker 1.99$ plus a free cappuccino! “Do you know a good lawyer? No, but if you go to Café 429 you can get legal advice and a free cappuccino for less than 2$!”
Maybe I should try to find a place they give free marital advice along with a scoop of ice cream.
Voilà! The last three months of my life: a deadly accident, a brother fighting over there, a dream of fatherhood smashed in a tiny million pieces. What now? Scotty cheating on me?
TBC
Author: semisweetsoul
Character: Kevin
Rating: G
Prompt: January OYTAWL Challenge: Write a journal entry for one of your characters (fanfic or original) @ getyourwordsout
Spoilers: S05 I think.
Word Count: 1,131 words
Disclaimer: Not mine, okay!
A/N: The timeline confuses me. I hate time jumps. But I followed the one Scotty mentions in 5.06 An Ideal Husband.
The book aka Kevin's journal
September 2007 - 10:10 PM
I’ve just read the latest entry and, wow! It feels like a lifetime ago. Yet, the feeling I described back then is pretty similar to the one I’m going through right now. How sad is that? I’ll come to that later.
When I found the book back last week I never intended to write anything inside. I remember I used to call it “the book” so Sarah or Kit wouldn’t “accidentally” read it. God! Thank God they never did. I took it out of the closet-no pun intended-out of curiosity. Three years of gay teenage angst told on fifty pages. A testimony of who I used to be back then.
So. Here I am, two decades later, in my office. (Yeah, I have an office. I’ m a lawyer. ) Some things don’t change. I’m alone. I remember that day. The day Danny left for college without saying goodbye. I never heard of him. Ever again. And now Jason’s gone. I haven’t heard a word from him in two months. No, 7 weeks 3 days 14 hours and 23 minutes. 24…. 25….
It hurts. Why do they all have to abandon me? Like Dad. Dad! It would require an entire notebook to tell all his shenanigans. Not tonight. I should go home. My bed awaits. Empty. (sigh!)
May 11, 2008 - 3:45 AM
Scotty said “I do”! Long story short: I proposed (Yes! Me! Of all people!) And he said “yes” and tonight we had our commitment ceremony at Mom’s and it was perfect and I didn’t know it was possible to be so happy. I know I sound gay but news flash, I am!
PS: Uncle Saul’s gay, too. I had no idea. I guess the infamous gaydar doesn’t work with family members.
November 5, 2008
I didn’t make partner. I ruined the slight chance of someday having a relationship with my in-laws. Scotty hates me, now. They were right. I’m not mature enough to hold such a position.
November 8, 2008
I seem to darken the pages of the book when I’m either very happy or very sad. Let’s hope there’s more ups than downs to come.
PS: Find a safe place to store the book. Stop wandering around with it. It’s asking for troubles. Yeah, I’m talking about the sisters.
April 2009
Oh, Tommy! I don’t get it! I’m so angry and frustrated! He claims he’s not Dad, but he is! A liar, a cheater, an embezzler! And God knows what!
Julia doesn’t deserve him. I swear if he hurts Lizzie, I…
October 2009
I learned something today. Something I can’t tell anyone. I promised. Although, here it’s safe, right? It’s like telling myself.
Okay.
Here goes. Kitty’s sick. Really sick. Stage 3 cancer sick. She has a young son. A husband. A family. And a self-centered annoying gay brother who cannot imagine his life without her. She can’t die.
I’m not crying, I’m not.
November 2009
Scotty and I are trying for a baby. I’m so excited! We’re so excited!
I just hope Kitty will get to know her niece or nephew.
March 2010
Some crazy good news:
- Mom and Holly got arrested! Priceless!
- Justin and Rebecca got married.
- Kitty’s cancer free.
- And we’re waiting to see if Michelle’s pregnant! I’m sure she is.
May 2010
Michelle’s pregnant!
The words Kevin Walker and father, together for real! Amazing! I like to think Dad would have supported me during that process. Everyone seems genuinely happy for us. I know I complain a lot about my siblings, but they help me grow all these years. I wouldn’t be the same person if it weren’t for them all. And Bingo! He taught me the puppy dog face!
September 19, 2010
It has been a rough few months. I’ve wanted to write this down for awhile, but I couldn’t find the words.
Back in early June we lost Ojai Foods. It was heartbreaking. No more family business. I avoid that road. Too many memories. Not all of them good. (Aaron.)
In late June, we were in a smash up. Robert was critically injured. The doctors put him in a coma. He’s been on life support ever since. We all know that he’s never waking up. Kitty doesn’t want to hear it. She needs time to face the harsh reality.
Holly’s head trauma although severe, isn’t life-threatening. Memory loss is to be expected.
Saul’s HIV positive. He’s been for the last two decades. He had no idea. He acts as though nothing’s changed. I’m worried. If only he would confide in me.
In all the craziness, Justin chose to run away. I can understand running away from an emotionally complex situation and responsibilities, but I can’t understand running away to a more emotionally complex situation and more responsibilities. Mom didn’t try to stop him this time. He left for Afghanistan. Rebecca’s been distant with all the Walkers ever since. She must be angry. I can’t blame her. Her mom’s in a hospital bed and her husband leaves to go fight for his country. I hope he’ll come home safe. We can’t lose someone else. Especially Justin.
June sucked (and that’s an understatement). July sucked, too. I had hope for August until the hospital called. Michelle (our surrogate) had a miscarriage. Another one. They said it can happen in the second trimester. Is that supposed to comfort me? It’s a taboo subject at home. Scotty can’t talk about I, now. I can’t talk about the accident with him either. I guess we’re even.
Every conversation revolves around the restaurant. I know people tend to focus on work to avoid dealing with personal problems but I’m right here 24/7 and it’s like he can’t see me. So tonight, I played hooky. I was at a bar, drowning in self-pity. I’m not ashamed of it even a little. It was the grand opening, tonight. And I missed it on purpose.
I want to support him, I do. But it’s his dream, not mine. I don’t know how to reach him. And now, he’s going to be even busier, and so will I as soon as I start taking clients. Maybe I should be added on the menu! Legal advice from Kevin Walker 1.99$ plus a free cappuccino! “Do you know a good lawyer? No, but if you go to Café 429 you can get legal advice and a free cappuccino for less than 2$!”
Maybe I should try to find a place they give free marital advice along with a scoop of ice cream.
Voilà! The last three months of my life: a deadly accident, a brother fighting over there, a dream of fatherhood smashed in a tiny million pieces. What now? Scotty cheating on me?
TBC