It's hard to be a tightwad
People who had the misfortune of knowing me as little as ten years ago might have been under the impression that I was color blind and had tradgically lost all sense of style and fashion in a self inflicted lobotomy experiment. Let's face it, in my teen years and early twenties I had less fashion sense than a polka festiva and there were magpies circling my house that could accessorize better than I could. Of course, my problems weren't entirely driven by biology. I can, in fact, see color. I just don't care. Apathy has been a major driving force for much of my life. If there were a god of apathy, I could have been the high priest if I could bother even trying. Come to think of it, that may be how you become the high priest. Not caring if they do it. For all I know, Apthos really does exist and I really amd the high priest. If I gave a rat's nether regions, I might look into it. But that sounds a lot like work to me and, well, I don't wanna. On the other hand, let's focus more upon my earlier mission in life to dress to unimpress.
You want specifics? I'll give you some. I was wearing ripped and faded jeans and endorsing the grunge look well before some folks from Seattle that I doubt anyone remembers made it trendy. Shirts were generally of the "here's a color and there's a stain" sort of motif and I had a very clever system for choosing which ones to wear. I'd walk into my closet first thing in the morning, reach inside, and pull out pants and a shirt. If they didn't match, it was just too bad. I did not get a second try. For years I had a nylon wallet that was coming apart at the seams. The one item of jewelry I would wear was a watch which came from the $10 or less bin. The type of watch where it cheaper to replace the watch than to bother with a battery. My shoes were always a disgrace. I actually tried to repair a shoe with a hot glue gun rather than bother trying to get new shoes. I just didn't care. When I did finally relent to wearing glasses, I got the cheapest frames I could find with plain old plastic lenses. I really just did not care.
Now years later I am in Kohl's department store buying acceptable ties to match the $200 worth of dress clothes sitting in my buggy when it finally strikes me. I've sold out!
No really. Check this out. I wear a self winding watch that is worth about $60. My glasses have designer frames and have Transition polycarbonate lenses. They're worth about $200. My work clothes are usually worth around $30 or more per item. For work I wear dress shoes. Everywhere else, I wear a pair of Sketchers. I eat better food. I use a laptop for my basic computing needs on my high speed cable modem. Ten years ago a reliable car was one that Vegas might give me even money on driving across town without causing a Valdez caliber EPA disaster along the way. Now a reliable car is one that will take me across the country consistently. I expect higher quality in food, clothing, and shelter. Then it hit me. It is a lot easier to maintain your elite sense of self denial and apathy when you are also afflicted with poverty.
My first real job after I got out into the real world was a part time deli clerk for a rather well known grocery store. It was a thankless job with a snazzy blue polo shirt that was part of the uniform and I earned a mind numbing $4.75 an hour. If I worked 20 hours a week, I'd pull in something like a $4,950 a year income. I managed to save up enough to buy a first car that was reliable in that it took me in the general direction I wanted to go 8 out of 10 times. Now I make more than that in a month and I am expected to dress the part.
Now that I can afford to buy the crap I've had my eye on, I now find that sophicated sense of elitism is gone. Don't get me wrong. I don't care what most people do. But apparently my days of the random closet day planner are gone.
You want specifics? I'll give you some. I was wearing ripped and faded jeans and endorsing the grunge look well before some folks from Seattle that I doubt anyone remembers made it trendy. Shirts were generally of the "here's a color and there's a stain" sort of motif and I had a very clever system for choosing which ones to wear. I'd walk into my closet first thing in the morning, reach inside, and pull out pants and a shirt. If they didn't match, it was just too bad. I did not get a second try. For years I had a nylon wallet that was coming apart at the seams. The one item of jewelry I would wear was a watch which came from the $10 or less bin. The type of watch where it cheaper to replace the watch than to bother with a battery. My shoes were always a disgrace. I actually tried to repair a shoe with a hot glue gun rather than bother trying to get new shoes. I just didn't care. When I did finally relent to wearing glasses, I got the cheapest frames I could find with plain old plastic lenses. I really just did not care.
Now years later I am in Kohl's department store buying acceptable ties to match the $200 worth of dress clothes sitting in my buggy when it finally strikes me. I've sold out!
No really. Check this out. I wear a self winding watch that is worth about $60. My glasses have designer frames and have Transition polycarbonate lenses. They're worth about $200. My work clothes are usually worth around $30 or more per item. For work I wear dress shoes. Everywhere else, I wear a pair of Sketchers. I eat better food. I use a laptop for my basic computing needs on my high speed cable modem. Ten years ago a reliable car was one that Vegas might give me even money on driving across town without causing a Valdez caliber EPA disaster along the way. Now a reliable car is one that will take me across the country consistently. I expect higher quality in food, clothing, and shelter. Then it hit me. It is a lot easier to maintain your elite sense of self denial and apathy when you are also afflicted with poverty.
My first real job after I got out into the real world was a part time deli clerk for a rather well known grocery store. It was a thankless job with a snazzy blue polo shirt that was part of the uniform and I earned a mind numbing $4.75 an hour. If I worked 20 hours a week, I'd pull in something like a $4,950 a year income. I managed to save up enough to buy a first car that was reliable in that it took me in the general direction I wanted to go 8 out of 10 times. Now I make more than that in a month and I am expected to dress the part.
Now that I can afford to buy the crap I've had my eye on, I now find that sophicated sense of elitism is gone. Don't get me wrong. I don't care what most people do. But apparently my days of the random closet day planner are gone.