Off the shores of Huron. Chapter one.

[semigrounded]

Armed with nothing but knives and a few guns we reach the shore of Michigan. Factories loom in the distance. Bodies are scattered on the beach and reach all the way to the horizon. A crab nibbles on one of the corpses. I didn't know they eat people

Comments

[semigrounded]

I was hoping I could do another chapter of this story. I even have the next part, where they all walk into the city, which is completely empty, someone years the bodies are gone, they turn around, and they are, and then all the fun begins.
But, I can't seem to wrap my head around it well enough to put out anything coherent.
The old man and the main character were going to be the last ones to survive, and develop a nifty relationship, while running from strange phenomena, ultimately ending in the mans death, then a visit to the main character, him finding out its happening all over the world, and so on, and so on. But alas, I believe subconsciously I know it's too thin, with the chasing, and the final chosen one sequence.
I even had a semi-worked out ending, where the creatures claimed they were taking out cities to save humanity because they needed the continuous death of humans to give them life. Whether that would end up being true or just a lie, I hadn't worked out, but it seems I've limited the story too much by focusing on it's entirety, and can't get into it enough to actually further it. rats.
Maybe later though.
And for the record, I think this excerpt is poorly written, but has potential.
I'm just sayin.