"you think you can do these things, but you just can't, nemo"
I just looked up the definition of the word "home." It was much more complicated than I expected. I guess I looked it up after noting that a lot of facebook statuses today dealt with either being home, or not. And home was sometimes college, sometimes where parents live, etc. It's kind of mildly interesting in a way. I think I need food. Protein. Yes.
So I've been dawdling around for like... 7 hours. Facebooking, sort of writing a memoir, talking on the phone, iming, munching on junk food, occasionally conversing with suitemates, etc. Esther isn't back yet, she'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I kind of hate being here by myself. It's sort of terrible. I'm very indecisive-sounding about it. It's a little annoying. A little. It's annoying.
Everywhere feels weird. Home is weird because everything is shorter and lower, and my parents actually expect me to be places at certain times and do chores, which is weird. I feel funny around people still in high school because I miss band and drama club, and it's more soothing to just pretend they don't exist anymore than to hear about how everything is perky as a puppy there still or whatever. Seeing people I graduated with is weird too cuz it's like really scary & odd that we are freaking high school graduates & we don't go to the same school anymore and we have different friends now (or not, in my case) & it's just freaky. Everything is so different, but it's the same still, and thus WEIRD. Uncanny. Lol @ freud. College is weird because I have 3 genuine friends, 2 of which I have known for at least the past 4 years of my life, and I feel very much that I do not fit in here socially. There's this weird divide about everywhere and everything--home and college. That's a good song, btw. "Weird Divide" by The Shins. You should probably listen to it. Not now. I mean, you can. But yeah, it's just a good song.
God, my brain is so fucking messed up haha. At least I'm in the stage where I like know it and am just kinda like well, I guess I'm just gonna be in a fucking weird mood now, k. Tomorrow will be better. I always feel better when Esther is here, which is funny. All my friends back in Vernon would probably sort of hate her. Well, maybe not. She's just like... not like me at all. Very abrasive. And odd. And kind of a bitch. But awesome haha.
Why am I writing this? I WAS working on that food memoir, but it's all like cliched-sounding, I think, & idk. I still have lots of time. Blkjgkejgiegjeigeji wtf.
Facebooking for a long time is like the worst idea ever. I just end up looking at a bunch of pictures and feeling sad that everyone in those pics looks so happy and I'm not. And I see how everyone has new friends & their life has changed drastically & they changed their hair & it just like piles on and on. God, fucking emo shittttt, sick of ittttt. I wish I had more friends here.
I dunno what the fuck this is haha, maybe I won't post it, I usually chicken out, idk... I hate my stupid, whiny emo blogs. If I posted every blog I've written that I then decided to delete, I'd probably have triple the posts I have. Scary.
So I've been dawdling around for like... 7 hours. Facebooking, sort of writing a memoir, talking on the phone, iming, munching on junk food, occasionally conversing with suitemates, etc. Esther isn't back yet, she'll be back tomorrow afternoon. I kind of hate being here by myself. It's sort of terrible. I'm very indecisive-sounding about it. It's a little annoying. A little. It's annoying.
Everywhere feels weird. Home is weird because everything is shorter and lower, and my parents actually expect me to be places at certain times and do chores, which is weird. I feel funny around people still in high school because I miss band and drama club, and it's more soothing to just pretend they don't exist anymore than to hear about how everything is perky as a puppy there still or whatever. Seeing people I graduated with is weird too cuz it's like really scary & odd that we are freaking high school graduates & we don't go to the same school anymore and we have different friends now (or not, in my case) & it's just freaky. Everything is so different, but it's the same still, and thus WEIRD. Uncanny. Lol @ freud. College is weird because I have 3 genuine friends, 2 of which I have known for at least the past 4 years of my life, and I feel very much that I do not fit in here socially. There's this weird divide about everywhere and everything--home and college. That's a good song, btw. "Weird Divide" by The Shins. You should probably listen to it. Not now. I mean, you can. But yeah, it's just a good song.
God, my brain is so fucking messed up haha. At least I'm in the stage where I like know it and am just kinda like well, I guess I'm just gonna be in a fucking weird mood now, k. Tomorrow will be better. I always feel better when Esther is here, which is funny. All my friends back in Vernon would probably sort of hate her. Well, maybe not. She's just like... not like me at all. Very abrasive. And odd. And kind of a bitch. But awesome haha.
Why am I writing this? I WAS working on that food memoir, but it's all like cliched-sounding, I think, & idk. I still have lots of time. Blkjgkejgiegjeigeji wtf.
Facebooking for a long time is like the worst idea ever. I just end up looking at a bunch of pictures and feeling sad that everyone in those pics looks so happy and I'm not. And I see how everyone has new friends & their life has changed drastically & they changed their hair & it just like piles on and on. God, fucking emo shittttt, sick of ittttt. I wish I had more friends here.
I dunno what the fuck this is haha, maybe I won't post it, I usually chicken out, idk... I hate my stupid, whiny emo blogs. If I posted every blog I've written that I then decided to delete, I'd probably have triple the posts I have. Scary.