carry me please....
July 7th 2006..... I took some time to visit my parents today... It was a good thing to do... once in a while i need touch roots and remember just where it was that i came from. what it was that makes me what i am today. I took a walk through my old neighborhood and waves like walls came crashing in on me.....these streets used to be so big to me. now i feel like a giant walking these roads....weird....However i am never to big or to old to remember what it was like. Reality is tough to cope with sometimes. but again it soothes me so. These times i'm going through right now are not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it's always nice to know that my past is always there to comfort me when i need it. I love my past and i love the people that have brought me to this point but i can't help but think......what if......what if i didn't take that road, what if i didn't talk to that one person, what if i didn't agree to this or that, what if...... Life doesn't allow room for "what if"s" it only allows just enough room for you to take those what ifs and say, "well i'm here, what now?" Move on, mature and learn. If there's anything i've learned from my life it's that I can't dwell on what i've done right or wrong. I can only pick up from where i am at this very moment and just go. Go and run with whatever i have in my hands and grab as much knowledge and truth i can carry. God please show me what i need to see and nothing else. show me my next step and i'll take it. just show me........