(no subject)
so i've been sitting here for the last hour/ hour and a half.. reading old journal entries.. and others old journal entries... things are so different from the way they used to be.. and how i thought they'd always be..
weird how you can go from one thing to the next with out even really thinking about it. how you can for so long with that person/ people in your every day life.. and then all of a sudden they're gone..
i've meet some people in these last two years. that i'd never wanna lose. ever. and i never in my life thought that would happen. and i've lost some people that i never EVER thought i would.. i guess I gotta go through a MILLION bad situations.. just to gain one good one. one good moment, one good time.. I'd have to say though i've only had a few good ones this past year.
That year though had to be the most fucked up year i've ever been through.. having to deal with being on MY own this time with just me and my daughter, and having to provide for her by myself.. with little to no help from her dad, having to work all the time.. while knowing my childs at someones house.. having them basically raise her.. cause i'm trying to take care of her.. Who knew I would do something so out of ordinary.. as in taking the whole role of being a mother and doing it all by myself.. it's truely amazing how wonderful my child is.. and how great it is to be a mom. heh.
Then for me to lose one of my VERY best friends (or so i had thought) someone i've known for YEARS. and we've been through so many things.., things i'd never ever wanna change.. i had some of my best times with this person. and i miss him ALOT.
But, yet I gained someone that will be there til i'm 100, if i was to live that long.. and it's funny because we have 100's of miles between us.. but it feels like i've known him for ever. He's always there for me when i need him.. over ANY friend... and never complains about anything. He's someone i never want to lose. and i'll forever <3 him.
Then to meeting up with an old high school friend.. when i thought for sure we'd never talk again.. she used to be my fucking homegirl. together everyday. doin shit EVERYDAY. for at least 5 years straight.. that was my fucking girl. and we completely lost touch of each other.. until this past year.. and now outta no where we're living together.. crazy how that shit happens
My best friend having a baby also.. was something I never thought would happen, something NONE of my friends thought would ever happen .. it was always me who'd be the only one with a kid.. so we thought.. Its crazy to see her raising a child..
And then my job. this is the first time i've ever held a job for more then 4 months.. who would've thought Amanda taking on responsabilites.. ha. Got my self a car, got a decent job. making pretty good money.. and a license. way to wait til i was 21.
I dunno i'm just rambling so i'ma just gonna shut up.
:x <3
weird how you can go from one thing to the next with out even really thinking about it. how you can for so long with that person/ people in your every day life.. and then all of a sudden they're gone..
i've meet some people in these last two years. that i'd never wanna lose. ever. and i never in my life thought that would happen. and i've lost some people that i never EVER thought i would.. i guess I gotta go through a MILLION bad situations.. just to gain one good one. one good moment, one good time.. I'd have to say though i've only had a few good ones this past year.
That year though had to be the most fucked up year i've ever been through.. having to deal with being on MY own this time with just me and my daughter, and having to provide for her by myself.. with little to no help from her dad, having to work all the time.. while knowing my childs at someones house.. having them basically raise her.. cause i'm trying to take care of her.. Who knew I would do something so out of ordinary.. as in taking the whole role of being a mother and doing it all by myself.. it's truely amazing how wonderful my child is.. and how great it is to be a mom. heh.
Then for me to lose one of my VERY best friends (or so i had thought) someone i've known for YEARS. and we've been through so many things.., things i'd never ever wanna change.. i had some of my best times with this person. and i miss him ALOT.
But, yet I gained someone that will be there til i'm 100, if i was to live that long.. and it's funny because we have 100's of miles between us.. but it feels like i've known him for ever. He's always there for me when i need him.. over ANY friend... and never complains about anything. He's someone i never want to lose. and i'll forever <3 him.
Then to meeting up with an old high school friend.. when i thought for sure we'd never talk again.. she used to be my fucking homegirl. together everyday. doin shit EVERYDAY. for at least 5 years straight.. that was my fucking girl. and we completely lost touch of each other.. until this past year.. and now outta no where we're living together.. crazy how that shit happens
My best friend having a baby also.. was something I never thought would happen, something NONE of my friends thought would ever happen .. it was always me who'd be the only one with a kid.. so we thought.. Its crazy to see her raising a child..
And then my job. this is the first time i've ever held a job for more then 4 months.. who would've thought Amanda taking on responsabilites.. ha. Got my self a car, got a decent job. making pretty good money.. and a license. way to wait til i was 21.
I dunno i'm just rambling so i'ma just gonna shut up.
:x <3