equivalent exchange
equivalent exchange
kai/lu han
983 words; pg-13
warning: themes of death
a lovely person on tumblr reminded me that hey, you write, why haven't you been doing that? and what a good question it was, because why haven't i been doing that? so i managed to grab one of the wips i started recently and worked on that. thankfully it was nice and short. it's also unbeta'd, but i wanted to put something out before the hurricane hit, so here you go! it's fullmetal alchemist au, and for those who don't know what that is, all you'll really need to know is that it's based off of alchemy and the theory of equivalent trade. it was also originally inspired by this!
It's a mad world out here, I tell you
The world's gone stark, raving mad
Everyone in the world is mad
It's a mad crazy world
-Lamborghini Angels, Lupe Fiasco
Lu Han is dead, Jongin tells himself. Lu Han is dead, but he’s not really dead-dead. He’ll never actually be dead; Jongin will make sure of that.
The hardest part is getting his own blood. Pricking his finger with a needle barely gets a drop of blood. He has to press the knife deep into his finger so the blood drips out onto the concrete below. Jongin holds back a sob as he looks at the design on his notebook, then back down at the ground.
The warehouse smells awful. It reeks of rust and iron and rotting flesh - Jongin wants to vomit, but not because of that. The stench is almost calming. It reminds him that he’s not just reading about chemistry and biology in class. It reminds him that there used to be a boy with dusty hair and pale skin sitting next to him - with him. It reminds him that that boy doesn’t sit next to him anymore.
But he will.
He finished the last of the second alchemy circle and takes a moment to stare at his handiwork before bandaging his finger. It’s a bit messy, mainly from nervousness. He’s learned about this in theory hundreds of times, but this is the first time he’s ever attempted it. And hopefully the last.
"Water, 35 liters. Carbon, 20 kilograms. Ammonia, 4 liters. Lime, 1.5 kilograms. Phosphorous, 800 grams. Salt, 250 grams. Saltpeter, 100 grams. Sulfur, 80 grams. Fluorine, 7.5, iron, 5, silicon, 3 grams, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.”
They’re all there, stuffed in a bag next to him. He opens the bag carefully and dumps the contents into the first circle. The edges of the material gather some of the blood, and he picks himself up off of the ground and to the back corner of the warehouse. There’s another bag propped up against the wall, lying in a pool of red.
It’s heavy. Jongin isn’t sure if the bag is heavy or if his nervousness is making him weaker, because his arms and legs shake as he drags it across the ground. It hurts. His muscles ache, his head pounds, and his heart stutters as it tries to piece together the rest of his mind.
Jongin tilts his head towards Lu Han’s and fills in the gaps between their lips, coaxing his mouth open with small nips and teasing smiles. Lu Han gives in easy, always letting Jongin whatever he likes, always indulging in him and letting Jongin take the lead.
He laughs, and Jongin pulls back, small pout on his lips. “You’re so fast,” Lu Han says, smiling. “Slow down.”
Jongin grins and presses his forehead against Lu Han’s. “Because I don’t know what you’ll do next.”
“Like quicksand,” Lu Han agrees, and tangles his finger in Jongin’s hair.
“There’s only one way to go in quicksand,” Jongin argues, “and that’s down.”
“That’s right,” Lu Han says, and pushes Jongin onto his back. “Down.”
He pulls the rope off the top of the bag with shaking fingers and closes his eyes when he tips it over. Jongin hears the thud of rotten flesh hitting the ground, and sucks in a quick breath before he opens his eyes. He smells the body before he sees it, and his vision swims for a moment, legs buckling beneath him.
That is not how a body should look. That’s not--
Jongin turns away and manages to catch himself just in time before the insides of his stomach come up and he violently vomits, insides burning.
When the tremors are finally over, he situates himself in front of the two circles and takes a deep breath. This is it. All he has to do is activate the spell, and Lu Han should be back, in theory.
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange.
He looks back at the elements. He’s measured them out perfectly, the human body’s components. It isn’t really to give Lu Han another body, but to make up for his soul. Jongin’s done his research and trying to bring a dead body back to life is considered taboo, but at this point, he will do anything to see Lu Han’s smile again. His mind fills in the gaps where teachers and textbooks end and myths and legends die. He only has one shot at this, that much he’s sure about.
The buildup to this seems almost ridiculous, Jongin thinks as he presses his hands together and then places them onto the ground.
Jongin didn’t know what he was expecting - flashing lights or sudden explosions, but the silence imposing on him hurts more than it should.
Nothing moves for a couple of moments, and Jongin’s almost sure that this turned out to be a dud. Then there’s some shuffling, and the small pile of elements sink into the ground. Jongin’s head snaps up to see Lu Han’s hand moving.
“Lu Han!” he calls out, hopeful, but fear has him frozen in place. The body moves too slowly, but at the sound of his name, Lu Han’s head slowly moves up.
Something strikes in his heart. Everything in his being is telling Jongin to run, to get the hell out of there, to move move move but Jongin keeps himself locked to where he’s kneeling. “Lu Han,” he whispers.
“Jong... in...”
The hand reaches out, and Jongin suppresses a scream as Lu Han’s hand reaches out towards him. The angle isn’t correct, and the look in his eye - it’s not the same. Something in Lu Han’s body cracks, and Jongin actually does scream when his eyes start to bleed, and he grins.
That’s not Lu Han, Jongin manages to decipher before the hand reaches him.
“Jong... in...”
kai/lu han
983 words; pg-13
warning: themes of death
a lovely person on tumblr reminded me that hey, you write, why haven't you been doing that? and what a good question it was, because why haven't i been doing that? so i managed to grab one of the wips i started recently and worked on that. thankfully it was nice and short. it's also unbeta'd, but i wanted to put something out before the hurricane hit, so here you go! it's fullmetal alchemist au, and for those who don't know what that is, all you'll really need to know is that it's based off of alchemy and the theory of equivalent trade. it was also originally inspired by this!
It's a mad world out here, I tell you
The world's gone stark, raving mad
Everyone in the world is mad
It's a mad crazy world
-Lamborghini Angels, Lupe Fiasco
Lu Han is dead, Jongin tells himself. Lu Han is dead, but he’s not really dead-dead. He’ll never actually be dead; Jongin will make sure of that.
The hardest part is getting his own blood. Pricking his finger with a needle barely gets a drop of blood. He has to press the knife deep into his finger so the blood drips out onto the concrete below. Jongin holds back a sob as he looks at the design on his notebook, then back down at the ground.
The warehouse smells awful. It reeks of rust and iron and rotting flesh - Jongin wants to vomit, but not because of that. The stench is almost calming. It reminds him that he’s not just reading about chemistry and biology in class. It reminds him that there used to be a boy with dusty hair and pale skin sitting next to him - with him. It reminds him that that boy doesn’t sit next to him anymore.
But he will.
He finished the last of the second alchemy circle and takes a moment to stare at his handiwork before bandaging his finger. It’s a bit messy, mainly from nervousness. He’s learned about this in theory hundreds of times, but this is the first time he’s ever attempted it. And hopefully the last.
"Water, 35 liters. Carbon, 20 kilograms. Ammonia, 4 liters. Lime, 1.5 kilograms. Phosphorous, 800 grams. Salt, 250 grams. Saltpeter, 100 grams. Sulfur, 80 grams. Fluorine, 7.5, iron, 5, silicon, 3 grams, and trace amounts of 15 other elements.”
They’re all there, stuffed in a bag next to him. He opens the bag carefully and dumps the contents into the first circle. The edges of the material gather some of the blood, and he picks himself up off of the ground and to the back corner of the warehouse. There’s another bag propped up against the wall, lying in a pool of red.
It’s heavy. Jongin isn’t sure if the bag is heavy or if his nervousness is making him weaker, because his arms and legs shake as he drags it across the ground. It hurts. His muscles ache, his head pounds, and his heart stutters as it tries to piece together the rest of his mind.
Jongin tilts his head towards Lu Han’s and fills in the gaps between their lips, coaxing his mouth open with small nips and teasing smiles. Lu Han gives in easy, always letting Jongin whatever he likes, always indulging in him and letting Jongin take the lead.
He laughs, and Jongin pulls back, small pout on his lips. “You’re so fast,” Lu Han says, smiling. “Slow down.”
Jongin grins and presses his forehead against Lu Han’s. “Because I don’t know what you’ll do next.”
“Like quicksand,” Lu Han agrees, and tangles his finger in Jongin’s hair.
“There’s only one way to go in quicksand,” Jongin argues, “and that’s down.”
“That’s right,” Lu Han says, and pushes Jongin onto his back. “Down.”
He pulls the rope off the top of the bag with shaking fingers and closes his eyes when he tips it over. Jongin hears the thud of rotten flesh hitting the ground, and sucks in a quick breath before he opens his eyes. He smells the body before he sees it, and his vision swims for a moment, legs buckling beneath him.
That is not how a body should look. That’s not--
Jongin turns away and manages to catch himself just in time before the insides of his stomach come up and he violently vomits, insides burning.
When the tremors are finally over, he situates himself in front of the two circles and takes a deep breath. This is it. All he has to do is activate the spell, and Lu Han should be back, in theory.
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange.
He looks back at the elements. He’s measured them out perfectly, the human body’s components. It isn’t really to give Lu Han another body, but to make up for his soul. Jongin’s done his research and trying to bring a dead body back to life is considered taboo, but at this point, he will do anything to see Lu Han’s smile again. His mind fills in the gaps where teachers and textbooks end and myths and legends die. He only has one shot at this, that much he’s sure about.
The buildup to this seems almost ridiculous, Jongin thinks as he presses his hands together and then places them onto the ground.
Jongin didn’t know what he was expecting - flashing lights or sudden explosions, but the silence imposing on him hurts more than it should.
Nothing moves for a couple of moments, and Jongin’s almost sure that this turned out to be a dud. Then there’s some shuffling, and the small pile of elements sink into the ground. Jongin’s head snaps up to see Lu Han’s hand moving.
“Lu Han!” he calls out, hopeful, but fear has him frozen in place. The body moves too slowly, but at the sound of his name, Lu Han’s head slowly moves up.
Something strikes in his heart. Everything in his being is telling Jongin to run, to get the hell out of there, to move move move but Jongin keeps himself locked to where he’s kneeling. “Lu Han,” he whispers.
“Jong... in...”
The hand reaches out, and Jongin suppresses a scream as Lu Han’s hand reaches out towards him. The angle isn’t correct, and the look in his eye - it’s not the same. Something in Lu Han’s body cracks, and Jongin actually does scream when his eyes start to bleed, and he grins.
That’s not Lu Han, Jongin manages to decipher before the hand reaches him.
“Jong... in...”