it's funny i read this when you posted it and I figured you actually wanted to be let go from here, only now I'm wondering if you were waiting for one of us to say.. HEY we love being a part of those moments and thoughts in your life and this is safe. (cause I at least won't ever make a drama out of it, you know how much I hate that lol)
the truth is I miss seeing you on here. I got to know things about you and you got to know things about me that we only ever posted here., for me it was the security of only three people that I know knowing this was me.
Sadly, this is not safe. I am the kind of person that doesn't have many boundries. When I post on here I post what I feel and think at the time. What I feel at the time may be colored by emotional state or things going at the time. What I think may only be based on what information I have at the time. More than anything this was an outlet that I used and allowed those I trusted to read it because I assumed they knew me and were mature enough to read it
( ... )
I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I hoe one day to get to know you withouta filter. and just so you know, not that it matters, I have never judged you!
I ran across this blog a long time ago and kept an eye on it in case your son ever wanted to meet you. He's 13 now. I emailed your mother some pics the other day. You look happy in your pics on myspace, and i'm glad for that. I showed them to Nate because he wonders if he looks like you, and i see it, but he doesn't. I told him that if he ever felt like contacting you, to tell me first, that it was ok with me, but that I don't know how you would react. I don't want his heart broken because of bad decisions both of us made. I guess this note is just to tell you that he's fine, gentle, sweet, and thoughtful. not sure you ever wonder about him or not, but he wonders about you.
i'm not sure what restraining order you're talking about? as far as i know there has never been one. i imagine that's something my mother came up with to scare you. she's lovely that way. I was angry with you for a long time, and i did some ugly things. and i apologize for that. His name is Nathan Drake Simpson. He's tall like you, taller than me now. Very athletic, skateboards alot. He has a youtube channel that he puts stuff up on occaisionally...its under nathandrakesimpson. he likes history and talking about politics and the world. he's got the most amazing sense of humor and makes me laugh until i cry somethimes. he's a good boy, i've lucked out. The girls in town chase him something awful. i hope someday you two can meet, because i think he's an awful lot like you.
Heh, you got me crying at work. My co-workers are looking at me strangely now...
I'm sorry for the stupid things I said and did too. I have to admit I was rather angry with you as well. For all the rough past I'm glad it worked out well for you. I'm glad he turned out to be all you wanted in a son.
I hope he doesn't have my spinal problem. My nerves have continued to degenerate since you last saw me. It's not bad enough that I can't walk but each year it gets a little worse. It's also starting to affect my organs. Now is the time you would start noticing it if he has my genetic disorder. One of his feet (probably the left) will be noticibly smaller than the other. If it's caught in time he won't have to go through what I am going through.
I'll check out his youtube when I'm not at work. That way my co-workers don't worry about me. And again, thank you. This means a lot to me.
I would love to see some pics. Send them to @cybermesa.com.
one of the very fist things i asked his doc was to keep an eye out for the leg thing. his doc told me it was more than likely not hereditary. the only health problems he's ever had are the occasional ear infection and a trick knee. he wears a support brace sometimes when i bothers him.
what's the email address you want the pics sent to again? all i got was @cybermesa.com
sorry to have made you cry. every so often i get this strong feeling that he should know you. He has a dad who has been his dad since he was two. i'm not asking you to fill that role in the least. (if that comes out harsh, i don't mean it to be, but i want to be honest with you) i'm just hoping that someday when he and you are both ready, you should meet.
Oh, right. I used web tags for the address so that it wouldn't show up for spam bots. let's try it a different way. (my first name)@cybermesa.com
I understand he has a dad. I'm glad for it. Nobody should be without a dad. I don't think I would have made a very good dad back when I was 19 anyway. I'm sure it's better this way.
the truth is I miss seeing you on here. I got to know things about you and you got to know things about me that we only ever posted here., for me it was the security of only three people that I know knowing this was me.
guess we've all come a long way huh?
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I'm sorry for the stupid things I said and did too. I have to admit I was rather angry with you as well. For all the rough past I'm glad it worked out well for you. I'm glad he turned out to be all you wanted in a son.
I hope he doesn't have my spinal problem. My nerves have continued to degenerate since you last saw me. It's not bad enough that I can't walk but each year it gets a little worse. It's also starting to affect my organs. Now is the time you would start noticing it if he has my genetic disorder. One of his feet (probably the left) will be noticibly smaller than the other. If it's caught in time he won't have to go through what I am going through.
I'll check out his youtube when I'm not at work. That way my co-workers don't worry about me. And again, thank you. This means a lot to me.
I would love to see some pics. Send them to @cybermesa.com.
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what's the email address you want the pics sent to again? all i got was @cybermesa.com
sorry to have made you cry. every so often i get this strong feeling that he should know you. He has a dad who has been his dad since he was two. i'm not asking you to fill that role in the least. (if that comes out harsh, i don't mean it to be, but i want to be honest with you) i'm just hoping that someday when he and you are both ready, you should meet.
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I understand he has a dad. I'm glad for it. Nobody should be without a dad. I don't think I would have made a very good dad back when I was 19 anyway. I'm sure it's better this way.
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