100 Fic Challenge: Drive
Prompt Number: 9
Author: selvanic
Series: Pandora Hearts
Word Count: 588
Characters/Pairings: Gilbert; Light Oz/Gil, Break/Gil if you want it.
Rating: G
Summary: I thought I'd pushed myself before...I didn't truly know what it meant.
Work can only be successfully accomplished with the proper inspiration. Admittedly, there are plenty of people who work without, but those...never seem to be as productive. I don't hold it against them. Not everyone can find motivation in what they do. I thought I'd only need the one, but it seems...there was more waiting for me than I'd anticipated.
It's no secret to anyone that my life, my work, my whole world, revolved around Oz. Or I told myself it did. His family had saved me, he had saved me, and I'd promised to do whatever I could to give back to him. I let him bully me, I let him use me, and I did it all willingly. Because I knew he loved me. And...I loved him.
It made losing him agonizing. It was my fault. I hadn't done enough. Yet, at the same time, had I not lost him, I wouldn't have been given the drive to do what I've done in those ten long years. And I suppose I wouldn't have found that without...his influence.
Xerxes Break found me and picked me up off the ground. Quite literally. It had been years since someone had done that to me, and I hadn't known what to make of it. Part of me was terrified of him, but at the same time...I needed that. I hadn't known it at the time, but without his taking me on, I'd have done little more than sit and stew in my own guilt. He dusted me off and told me, assured me, that I still had as much promise as I'd so desperately told myself I had when Oz had still been around.
He took me from the home I'd dedicated myself to and gave me to another, sliding in and out of my life at the oddest of times to make sure I was doing what he'd told me to do. He was using me, but at the same time, I was using him. We'd agreed on that. But in putting me where he did...I was given yet another reason to push on. I was given a family. I was given new people to protect.
Elliot and Vincent...Two brothers I'd never anticipated having. Two younger brothers. And both so different from anyone I'd ever dealt with before. Vincent loved me to pieces, wanted to be near me at all times, slept in the same room, the same bed, and supported me regardless of what I did. Elliot, on the other hand, challenged me, dragged me through the gardens on make-believe adventures, and shouted at me when I failed to see his 'dragons' or 'princesses'. Both of them pushed me to be more, pushed me beyond my limits and comfort zones.
Over ten years, I was shown a world outside of the one I'd told myself was the only one I'd ever have. I met people who worked their way into my heart, a heart I'd told myself would only belong to one person. Over the ten years he was gone, I learned I could be more than just someone's servant. I learned I could be...my own person.
I don't blame Oz. I don't hold anything against him. And I will never say I am grateful for what happened to him. But if things hadn't happened the way they had...I wouldn't have been pushed. I wouldn't have found the drive I needed to become the man he needs me to be now. The man they all need me to be.
Author: selvanic
Series: Pandora Hearts
Word Count: 588
Characters/Pairings: Gilbert; Light Oz/Gil, Break/Gil if you want it.
Rating: G
Summary: I thought I'd pushed myself before...I didn't truly know what it meant.
Work can only be successfully accomplished with the proper inspiration. Admittedly, there are plenty of people who work without, but those...never seem to be as productive. I don't hold it against them. Not everyone can find motivation in what they do. I thought I'd only need the one, but it seems...there was more waiting for me than I'd anticipated.
It's no secret to anyone that my life, my work, my whole world, revolved around Oz. Or I told myself it did. His family had saved me, he had saved me, and I'd promised to do whatever I could to give back to him. I let him bully me, I let him use me, and I did it all willingly. Because I knew he loved me. And...I loved him.
It made losing him agonizing. It was my fault. I hadn't done enough. Yet, at the same time, had I not lost him, I wouldn't have been given the drive to do what I've done in those ten long years. And I suppose I wouldn't have found that without...his influence.
Xerxes Break found me and picked me up off the ground. Quite literally. It had been years since someone had done that to me, and I hadn't known what to make of it. Part of me was terrified of him, but at the same time...I needed that. I hadn't known it at the time, but without his taking me on, I'd have done little more than sit and stew in my own guilt. He dusted me off and told me, assured me, that I still had as much promise as I'd so desperately told myself I had when Oz had still been around.
He took me from the home I'd dedicated myself to and gave me to another, sliding in and out of my life at the oddest of times to make sure I was doing what he'd told me to do. He was using me, but at the same time, I was using him. We'd agreed on that. But in putting me where he did...I was given yet another reason to push on. I was given a family. I was given new people to protect.
Elliot and Vincent...Two brothers I'd never anticipated having. Two younger brothers. And both so different from anyone I'd ever dealt with before. Vincent loved me to pieces, wanted to be near me at all times, slept in the same room, the same bed, and supported me regardless of what I did. Elliot, on the other hand, challenged me, dragged me through the gardens on make-believe adventures, and shouted at me when I failed to see his 'dragons' or 'princesses'. Both of them pushed me to be more, pushed me beyond my limits and comfort zones.
Over ten years, I was shown a world outside of the one I'd told myself was the only one I'd ever have. I met people who worked their way into my heart, a heart I'd told myself would only belong to one person. Over the ten years he was gone, I learned I could be more than just someone's servant. I learned I could be...my own person.
I don't blame Oz. I don't hold anything against him. And I will never say I am grateful for what happened to him. But if things hadn't happened the way they had...I wouldn't have been pushed. I wouldn't have found the drive I needed to become the man he needs me to be now. The man they all need me to be.