#M15: Unintended
From: Anonymous until reveals
Title: Unintended
Rating: G
Word Count: 4,000
Summary: Sehun and Luhan have never been friends despite being in the same circle of friends. Yet, when Luhan loses his memories in an accident, he turns to Sehun for comfort.
Warning/s: kaibaek if you squint
Sehun and Luhan have never been close to each other despite being in the same circle of friends. There is no hatred between them. They simply just feel indifferent towards each other and none of them does anything to change that. Sehun is a quiet, reserved and timid person while Luhan is outspoken and super talkative. He did make several attempts to get close to Sehun but the younger didn’t even try to reciprocate, instead making it obvious that he had no intentions to become friends and so, Luhan gave up. Their friends never force them to interact with each other either; something that Sehun and Luhan are grateful for.
When Sehun hears from Jongin that Luhan has gotten into an accident and is currently at the hospital, he can’t help but feel a tad concerned. They may not be close but still, Sehun will never wish ill upon anyone. He wordlessly follows his friend to the hospital to check up on Luhan.
“How is he?”
Jongin inquires upon arriving at the hospital with Sehun following him closely behind.
“It wasn’t that bad, thankfully. He has a concussion and is still unconscious. No broken bones or anything, just a few scratches and external bruises” Baekhyun explains carefully, making Jongin sigh in relief before walking towards his petite boyfriend, hand reaching out to hold Baekhyun’s.
“It’s just you and Sehun?” Baehyun asks, looking around to see if Xiumin and Jongdae are around.
Jongin hums while his thumb is rubbing circles on Baekhyun’s hand.
“Yeah, it’s just me and Sehun. Xiumin and Jongdae are out of town”
Luhan wakes up to the hushed voices of people in his room. He slowly opens his eyes, his throat feels extremely dry and he can’t even bring himself to utter a ‘Thank you’ when a tanned skin guy hands him a bottle of water. He gulps down the entire bottle of water quickly. After he feels better and his throat doesn’t feel as dry as it was, he looks around his spacious hospital room. Confusion is obvious in his face and Baekhyun offers an explanation, knowing that Luhan probably doesn’t know how did he get in there.
“You got into an accident, Lu. It was quite bad and your car has been sent to the workshop. You hurt your head and you have scratches and external bruises but nothing that is incurable. So you’re safe, thankfully. I’m so glad that you have woken up, finally” Baekhyun explains without being asked and he smiles warmly.
“Lu?” Luhan repeats.
Baekhyun, Jongin and Sehun look at him in wonder.
“I am….Lu?” Luhan asks, pointing at himself.
The three boys seem surprised while Luhan is looking alternately at them, waiting for an answer.
“Um…yeah, you are Lu. Luhan” Jongin confirms and he gets closer to Luhan, unknowingly causing the other to flinch a little and he seems uncomfortable. Jongin retreats, back to standing beside his boyfriend.
Luhan closes his eyes, his head is hurting and he grips on the bed sheets when the pain seems to worsen.
“I can’t remember anything. I don’t know who you all are and I don’t even know my name and my head is hurting” Jongin and Baekhyun want to get closer but Luhan stops them.
“No, please. I don’t feel comfortable around you”
There is hurt visible in the two men’s eyes and Luhan can see it but he can’t help it. He doesn’t feel comfortable around strangers.
There is another boy trying to get closer to him and Luhan is about to stop him until he realizes that he’s only beside him to push the button above Luhan. It is there to call the doctor and the nurses. Luhan zeroes in his gaze on the milky-skinned boy. He doesn’t know what he’s currently feeling but right at the moment, if there is one person that Luhan can trust, it will be that boy. There is a sense of familiarity that Luhan gets from him.
“What’s your name?” he asks while keeping his eyes on the boy, watching as the other’s eyes widen slightly before he relaxes.
“Sehun”
“Are we friends?”
Sehun scratches on his nape lightly, not really knowing what to say and he looks at his two friends who are nodding in encouragement, basically telling him to lie.
“Yeah, we are friends, Lu”
Luhan nods. The doctor and a nurse come in right then.
Turns out that Luhan is experiencing dissociative amnesia which explains why he forgets a chunk of his life. He doesn’t remember his friends and his name. However, he does remember everything else; his family and the fact that he lives alone, away from his family because he’s pursuing his degree in Seoul. According to the doctor, the memories still exist; buried deep within Luhan’s mind but they cannot be recalled. There are hopes that the memories might resurface, and the chances are high in Luhan’s case since his head injury isn’t that extreme.
He tries hanging out with his friends that he doesn’t remember but it’s hard to hide the fact that he feels super uncomfortable around them. Forced smiles and forced conversations.
“Lu, you okay?” Xiumin asks, concern is written on his face when he sees how restless Luhan is.
Luhan nods and he looks around, relief is obvious on his face when he sees Sehun walk into the cafeteria and is heading toward their table. Sehun is about to sit beside Jongin, causing Luhan to frown slightly but Sehun gets stopped instead and he looks questioningly at Jongin and after a few moments, he understands the intention behind it. He sighs and walks toward Luhan, plopping down beside him and he doesn’t miss the radiance on Luhan’s face upon seeing him. It’s weird, considering that Luhan has never acted in such a way with him before. He is only like this after the accident and Sehun is not used to the new Luhan yet. The new Luhan who seems to enjoy his presence a lot.
“Sehun-ah. Were you just done with your classes?”
Sehun nods, seemingly uninterested while reaching for Baekhyun’s fries but he gets a glare from the petite man.
“Talk to him nicely” Baekhyun mouths and Sehun sighs for the nth times.
“Yes. What about you? Are you still having classes, Lu?”
Baekhyun smiles and gives his fries to Sehun.
Since Sehun is the only one that Luhan is comfortable with, it is his job to drive Luhan everywhere. Luhan tried to turn down the offer before, not wanting to trouble Sehun and his car is functioning well again after the repairing but his friends were so adamant about it. They still think that Luhan shouldn’t be allowed to drive by himself considering that he is still not fully well. Sehun, who was tired of all the arguing told Luhan that he is fine with the arrangement and the argument was soon closed.
Luhan sometimes thinks that Sehun might not be his friend before because there are moments that Sehun seems to act awkwardly around him, as if he is not used to being around Luhan. Yet, Luhan can’t deny that Sehun gives him comfort and a sense of familiarity that he doesn’t get from his other friends. He doesn’t understand it either but he finds himself gravitating towards Sehun.
“Sehun”
“Hmm?” the other hums while his eyes are focused on the road.
“Can we go somewhere before you send me home?”
Luhan asks carefully, a part of him is afraid of rejection. Sehun looks at him briefly.
“You don’t wanna rest? It’s quite a day and didn’t you have like 3 classes today?”
“Yeah but I don’t wanna go home yet. I tend to think a lot when I’m alone, trying to recall my memories and it hurts my head”
Sehun nods in acknowledgment, he empathizes with Luhan and his situation.
“Where do you wanna go?”
Luhan smiles enthusiastically.
Sehun ends up taking Luhan to the mall. They first go to get some bubble teas. Sehun is aware of the fact that they both love bubble teas despite never had a time to drink it together before. He also knows Luhan’s favourite which is taro because his other friends always order it for Luhan as a take away. He snickers lightly when Luhan looks at him, surprised that Sehun knows his favourite. He asks if they always went to get bubble teas together before and Sehun shrugs, leaving a pout on Luhan’s face.
Spending time with Luhan is more fun than Sehun has expected. He expected awkward moments and brief conversations but he was proven wrong because they seem to click so well together. Luhan is a chatterbox, that Sehun is aware of but he has always thought that it’s impossible for him to actually have decent conversations with Luhan considering their contrasting personalities.
Turns out that they have more in common than Sehun originally thought. Luhan is apparently an anime fan and he listens to Arctic Monkeys, just like Sehun.
“AM is my favourite, honestly every song in that album is a masterpiece”
Luhan states while licking on his ice-cream. He offered to buy one for Sehun as well but the latter refused.
“That’s so mainstream”
“Shut up, Sehun. You’re so bitter and I don’t care how mainstream it is. Like God, I would totally have sex to the whole album”
Luhan’s sudden revelation causes Sehun to choke on his spit as he gives Luhan a judging look which soon turns into an amused look as he watches Luhan’s face turn red.
“Tsk, Lu. What a dirty mind that you have”
“Shut up”
Luhan retorts as he walks ahead of Sehun, causing the taller male to chuckle.
Since then, hanging out together at least three times a week has become a routine for both Sehun and Luhan. Sehun finds himself genuinely enjoying Luhan’s presence, he doesn’t even have to be told by his hyungs anymore to treat Luhan good. His treatment towards Luhan has changed drastically. He is more gentle, attentive and his hyungs notice that he also seems to have considered Luhan as a friend. Luhan on the other hand is enjoying his current life just as much as Sehun and his headache is not that frequent anymore.
Sometimes Sehun’s thoughts wander. What will happen once Luhan regains his memories? Will he still like Sehun just the same? The thought stings and he tries his best not to think about it too much and enjoy whatever life offers him at the moment. When it happens, happens and Sehun will just go with the flow.
“You look happier”
Baekhyun casually states and Sehun raises his eyebrow at that.
“Anyway, what have you and Luhan been doing these days?”
Sehun shrugs;
“Nothing much. We just hang out, sometimes we go to his apartment and do nothing in particular, just that yeah”
There is a look of an amusement on Baekhyun’s face and Sehun finds it suspicious but doesn’t comment further.
Befriending Luhan is a choice that Sehun made. However, developing a crush on on Luhan is definitely not. In the course of time, Sehun finds himself start to notice how pretty Luhan actually is and how he never noticed that until recently.
Luhan blinks and Sehun starts thinking about how long his eyelashes are.
Luhan laughs and Sehun starts thinking about how much he loves a happy Luhan.
Luhan drinks his bubble tea and Sehun starts thinking about his soft lips.
Luhan smiles and Sehun swears his heart do backflips.
It’s stupid. He doesn’t know how and why he suddenly starts developing a huge crush on Luhan. It also doesn’t help that Luhan is naturally a touchy person and Sehun panics whenever Luhan gets too close. His heart is beating so loud, does Luhan really not hear it?
Upon realizing his feelings, Sehun tries his best not to be obvious about it. He feels awkward and is on a constant edge that Luhan might discover his huge crush on him. Nonetheless, Sehun should have known better that he isn’t as slick as he thinks. Of course, Baekhyun would notice.
“Okay, what’s the deal with you?”
“Huh?”
Sehun tries his best to play dumb and Baekhyun rolls his eyes at that.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed, Oh Sehun. Jongin acted exactly like you before when he started developing feelings for me”
”Like what?”
“All awkward. Fidgety and he refused to get too close to me; he later confessed that it was because his heart was beating so loud he was afraid I would hear it. Like a dumbass he is”
Baekhyun explains as a smile tugs at his lips, reminiscing Jongin being all panicky over his feelings for him. Before his mind wanders, he turns his focus back on Sehun and watches intently as the younger male seems to be having an internal fight with himself.
“Fuck it”
Sehun curses and Baekhyun scoffs at that.
“What’s the problem, anyway? It’s not like Luhan has a boyfriend or anything”
“Shut up, Baek”
Baekhyun laughs and sticks his tongue out at Sehun.
“Whipped loser”
Busy trying to not make it obvious that he likes Luhan, Sehun starts to distance himself a bit from Luhan, causing the older male to feel a tad sad. Whenever he asks to hang out together, Sehun gives never-ending excuses. He only picks Luhan up and then sends him home. That’s it. Not one to be left in the dark, Luhan confronts Sehun about it as the taller male drives him home.
“Sehun, did I do something wrong?”
“Huh? No, of course not”
Biting on his lower lip, Luhan shares what’s on his mind.
“You’re distancing yourself from me. We never hang out anymore”
Luhan says in a low voice, laced with bitterness and Sehun stays silent because he wasn’t prepared for this. He didn’t expect Luhan to notice which is dumb. Of course Luhan notices. Sehun is basically the only one that he’s the closest with in the meantime.
They have already arrived at the front of Luhan’s apartment and Sehun takes a deep breath, wrecking his brain to find the best explanations to give to Luhan.
“Lu….”
“Did you find out?”
Luhan suddenly asks and Sehun’s eyebrows knit in confusion.
“Huh? I - nevermind, I just, I mean, I’m”
Sehun knows that he’s blabbering but he just doesn’t know whether to be truthful or not. On one side, he feels like it’s pointless because what if Luhan regains his memories later on and he doesn’t want to be near Sehun anymore and things are going to be awkward between them? However, on the other side, Sehun knows that if he doesn’t confess, Luhan will continue thinking of himself as the problem and it might trigger his headache. Sehun doesn’t want that.
“Like…I, Lu -”
Luhan lets out a bitter laugh.
“So you knew”
“Huh?”
There is a look of confusion on Sehun’s face. What is Luhan going on about?
“How did you know, Sehun? How did you know that I like you? Did Baekhyun tell you?”
He asks and Sehun’s eyes widen. What?
“Is this why you’re staying away from me?”
Sehun wants to scream out ‘NO’ but he gets toungue-tied and Luhan assumes the worst.
“It must have felt uncomfortable, being with me and having to treat me good only for me to start developing feelings for you but Sehun……I never asked for my feelings to be returned so why do you distance yourself from me?”
Luhan tries his best not to spill his tears in front of Sehun and it is at that exact moment that he realizes he likes Sehun more than he thought. The thought of Sehun distancing himself from him kills him.
Sehun tries to let a few words out but he is still baffled and Luhan takes it as a sign of rejection. Gathering his stuff, Luhan gets out of the car as fast as possible and even when Sehun calls out to him, he doesn’t look back and locks himself inside his apartment.
Sehun sighs, leaning back and gives his forehead a slap.
“I’m so stupid”
The whole night, Sehun tries calling Luhan and leaves a few texts but Luhan doesn’t respond to any of his attempts.
Sehun has made up his mind. He is going to tell Luhan the truth and explains everything, face to face. It is Sunday, meaning there are no classes and Sehun was about to head to Luhan, wanting to spend the day with him but then his phone rings. It’s Baekhyun.
“Hey, hyung. What’s -”
“He remembers, Sehun! Luhan has regained his memories of us”
And Sehun feels his heart stop and everything around him turns silent.
Sehun is convinced that Luhan will not want to see him again after he regained his memories. Luhan may have confessed that he liked Sehun before but Sehun is pretty sure that he doesn’t feel the same anymore. And he briefly wonders if Luhan will also feel mad at him for lying? Sehun basically told him they were friends when they were not. Luhan must be feeling like he was played. Yet, Sehun still feels like he has to fess up, tell Luhan about his feelings and why he did what he did. Taking a deep breath and gathering the last ounce of courage, Sehun decides to send Luhan a text.
Hey Luhan. I heard that you have regained your memories and you probably no longer want to be friends with me anymore haha. It’s okay. We were like this before, I guess we could do the same again?
He sends the first text and looks at it, feeling the sting in his heart before he sends the second one.
Who am I kidding? I liked, no, I like your presence, Luhan. I like being around you. Perhaps even a bit too much. I was about to confess to you, face-to-face but now I don’t think I should. You probably see me as a liar or worse, a stranger. So here I am, sending you a text. Letting you know that I like you more than a friend. You make me happy. I wish you well, Luhan and I understand if you want us back to being strangers now but I can never treat you like one. Always here for you, Sehun.
Luhan doesn’t reply to his texts and Sehun understands.
Monday comes and Sehun is doing his best to avoid Luhan. He does it not for his sake but for Luhan’s. He refuses to eat with his hyungs and instead chooses to eat by himself, under the tree behind one of the school buildings.
The food tastes bland on his tongue and he grimaces, opting to just give up on eating and take a nap instead. Lying down and getting into the right position, Sehun closes his eyes and about to drift off to dreamland before he feels someone’s presence near him. He flutters his eyes open.
Luhan.
Sehun briefly wonders if he should just fake sleeping but he’s pretty sure that Luhan knows that he is awake. He licks his lip and gets into a sitting position, legs folded while his eyes are carefully meeting Luhan’s.
He holds his breath. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen Luhan for 2 days since he realized his feelings for the petite male but God, Luhan is gorgeous. Breathtakingly gorgeous.
“You’re avoiding me”
Luhan starts the conversation, looking a tad pissed. Sehun swallows his saliva nervously.
“Yeah…I’m doing it for you”
Luhan furrows his eyebrows, looking not at all pleased at the answer and Sehun hates that he’s currently thinking about how adorable Luhan looks.
“Sehun, I don’t want you to avoid me”
“Why not? You have regained your memories, right?”
“Yes, and?”
“So I figured we’re back to the way we were before?”
Luhan stomps his feet in annoyance and Sehun again, has to tell himself not to coo at Luhan because the older male is pissed and not acting cute.
“Sehun, I want you in my life”
Professed Luhan and Sehun momentarily loses his mind. Did he hear that right? Grumbling, Luhan finally sits beside Sehun. Carefully, he rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder, as if afraid of being rejected but Sehun has no intention of doing so.
“You’re so bad. Confessed through texts and then avoided me”
Out of habit, Sehun licks his lower lip and tries hard to come up with something that doesn’t make him sound like a loser but fails.
“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me”
Yelping when he feels a pinch on his waist, Sehun rubs the spot and turns his head slightly to look at Luhan but the latter is hiding his face in his neck and Sehun tries his best to breathe normally with Luhan so close to him.
“I never hated you, Sehun. Not before and not now. Just because we weren’t friends before, doesn’t mean that I hated your guts. And I understand why you did what you did while I was amnesiac. In fact, it’s admirable that you took care of me even though we were never close before. You’re an amazing person and I’m lucky that it’s you that I like”
Biting on his lip to stop his smile, Sehun carefully places his fingers on Luhan’s chin and lifts his head to look into his beautiful huge eyes.
“You like me?”
Pink is adorning Luhan’s cheeks and Sehun takes pride in being someone who affects Luhan in such a way.
“Shut up. Can we just kiss already?”
Sehun chuckles and leans forward to gently press his lips on Luhan’s.
They have exchanged words and it is now the time to physically show each other how they feel. Kissing leisurely under the tree while holding hands, both Sehun and Luhan can’t possibly ask for anything better.
Author’s Note: sorry if the dissociative amnesia happens in this story doesn’t make sense lmao but hey it’s fiction! also, this was a bit rushed but hope y’all can enjoy still
Title: Unintended
Rating: G
Word Count: 4,000
Summary: Sehun and Luhan have never been friends despite being in the same circle of friends. Yet, when Luhan loses his memories in an accident, he turns to Sehun for comfort.
Warning/s: kaibaek if you squint
Sehun and Luhan have never been close to each other despite being in the same circle of friends. There is no hatred between them. They simply just feel indifferent towards each other and none of them does anything to change that. Sehun is a quiet, reserved and timid person while Luhan is outspoken and super talkative. He did make several attempts to get close to Sehun but the younger didn’t even try to reciprocate, instead making it obvious that he had no intentions to become friends and so, Luhan gave up. Their friends never force them to interact with each other either; something that Sehun and Luhan are grateful for.
When Sehun hears from Jongin that Luhan has gotten into an accident and is currently at the hospital, he can’t help but feel a tad concerned. They may not be close but still, Sehun will never wish ill upon anyone. He wordlessly follows his friend to the hospital to check up on Luhan.
“How is he?”
Jongin inquires upon arriving at the hospital with Sehun following him closely behind.
“It wasn’t that bad, thankfully. He has a concussion and is still unconscious. No broken bones or anything, just a few scratches and external bruises” Baekhyun explains carefully, making Jongin sigh in relief before walking towards his petite boyfriend, hand reaching out to hold Baekhyun’s.
“It’s just you and Sehun?” Baehyun asks, looking around to see if Xiumin and Jongdae are around.
Jongin hums while his thumb is rubbing circles on Baekhyun’s hand.
“Yeah, it’s just me and Sehun. Xiumin and Jongdae are out of town”
Luhan wakes up to the hushed voices of people in his room. He slowly opens his eyes, his throat feels extremely dry and he can’t even bring himself to utter a ‘Thank you’ when a tanned skin guy hands him a bottle of water. He gulps down the entire bottle of water quickly. After he feels better and his throat doesn’t feel as dry as it was, he looks around his spacious hospital room. Confusion is obvious in his face and Baekhyun offers an explanation, knowing that Luhan probably doesn’t know how did he get in there.
“You got into an accident, Lu. It was quite bad and your car has been sent to the workshop. You hurt your head and you have scratches and external bruises but nothing that is incurable. So you’re safe, thankfully. I’m so glad that you have woken up, finally” Baekhyun explains without being asked and he smiles warmly.
“Lu?” Luhan repeats.
Baekhyun, Jongin and Sehun look at him in wonder.
“I am….Lu?” Luhan asks, pointing at himself.
The three boys seem surprised while Luhan is looking alternately at them, waiting for an answer.
“Um…yeah, you are Lu. Luhan” Jongin confirms and he gets closer to Luhan, unknowingly causing the other to flinch a little and he seems uncomfortable. Jongin retreats, back to standing beside his boyfriend.
Luhan closes his eyes, his head is hurting and he grips on the bed sheets when the pain seems to worsen.
“I can’t remember anything. I don’t know who you all are and I don’t even know my name and my head is hurting” Jongin and Baekhyun want to get closer but Luhan stops them.
“No, please. I don’t feel comfortable around you”
There is hurt visible in the two men’s eyes and Luhan can see it but he can’t help it. He doesn’t feel comfortable around strangers.
There is another boy trying to get closer to him and Luhan is about to stop him until he realizes that he’s only beside him to push the button above Luhan. It is there to call the doctor and the nurses. Luhan zeroes in his gaze on the milky-skinned boy. He doesn’t know what he’s currently feeling but right at the moment, if there is one person that Luhan can trust, it will be that boy. There is a sense of familiarity that Luhan gets from him.
“What’s your name?” he asks while keeping his eyes on the boy, watching as the other’s eyes widen slightly before he relaxes.
“Sehun”
“Are we friends?”
Sehun scratches on his nape lightly, not really knowing what to say and he looks at his two friends who are nodding in encouragement, basically telling him to lie.
“Yeah, we are friends, Lu”
Luhan nods. The doctor and a nurse come in right then.
Turns out that Luhan is experiencing dissociative amnesia which explains why he forgets a chunk of his life. He doesn’t remember his friends and his name. However, he does remember everything else; his family and the fact that he lives alone, away from his family because he’s pursuing his degree in Seoul. According to the doctor, the memories still exist; buried deep within Luhan’s mind but they cannot be recalled. There are hopes that the memories might resurface, and the chances are high in Luhan’s case since his head injury isn’t that extreme.
He tries hanging out with his friends that he doesn’t remember but it’s hard to hide the fact that he feels super uncomfortable around them. Forced smiles and forced conversations.
“Lu, you okay?” Xiumin asks, concern is written on his face when he sees how restless Luhan is.
Luhan nods and he looks around, relief is obvious on his face when he sees Sehun walk into the cafeteria and is heading toward their table. Sehun is about to sit beside Jongin, causing Luhan to frown slightly but Sehun gets stopped instead and he looks questioningly at Jongin and after a few moments, he understands the intention behind it. He sighs and walks toward Luhan, plopping down beside him and he doesn’t miss the radiance on Luhan’s face upon seeing him. It’s weird, considering that Luhan has never acted in such a way with him before. He is only like this after the accident and Sehun is not used to the new Luhan yet. The new Luhan who seems to enjoy his presence a lot.
“Sehun-ah. Were you just done with your classes?”
Sehun nods, seemingly uninterested while reaching for Baekhyun’s fries but he gets a glare from the petite man.
“Talk to him nicely” Baekhyun mouths and Sehun sighs for the nth times.
“Yes. What about you? Are you still having classes, Lu?”
Baekhyun smiles and gives his fries to Sehun.
Since Sehun is the only one that Luhan is comfortable with, it is his job to drive Luhan everywhere. Luhan tried to turn down the offer before, not wanting to trouble Sehun and his car is functioning well again after the repairing but his friends were so adamant about it. They still think that Luhan shouldn’t be allowed to drive by himself considering that he is still not fully well. Sehun, who was tired of all the arguing told Luhan that he is fine with the arrangement and the argument was soon closed.
Luhan sometimes thinks that Sehun might not be his friend before because there are moments that Sehun seems to act awkwardly around him, as if he is not used to being around Luhan. Yet, Luhan can’t deny that Sehun gives him comfort and a sense of familiarity that he doesn’t get from his other friends. He doesn’t understand it either but he finds himself gravitating towards Sehun.
“Sehun”
“Hmm?” the other hums while his eyes are focused on the road.
“Can we go somewhere before you send me home?”
Luhan asks carefully, a part of him is afraid of rejection. Sehun looks at him briefly.
“You don’t wanna rest? It’s quite a day and didn’t you have like 3 classes today?”
“Yeah but I don’t wanna go home yet. I tend to think a lot when I’m alone, trying to recall my memories and it hurts my head”
Sehun nods in acknowledgment, he empathizes with Luhan and his situation.
“Where do you wanna go?”
Luhan smiles enthusiastically.
Sehun ends up taking Luhan to the mall. They first go to get some bubble teas. Sehun is aware of the fact that they both love bubble teas despite never had a time to drink it together before. He also knows Luhan’s favourite which is taro because his other friends always order it for Luhan as a take away. He snickers lightly when Luhan looks at him, surprised that Sehun knows his favourite. He asks if they always went to get bubble teas together before and Sehun shrugs, leaving a pout on Luhan’s face.
Spending time with Luhan is more fun than Sehun has expected. He expected awkward moments and brief conversations but he was proven wrong because they seem to click so well together. Luhan is a chatterbox, that Sehun is aware of but he has always thought that it’s impossible for him to actually have decent conversations with Luhan considering their contrasting personalities.
Turns out that they have more in common than Sehun originally thought. Luhan is apparently an anime fan and he listens to Arctic Monkeys, just like Sehun.
“AM is my favourite, honestly every song in that album is a masterpiece”
Luhan states while licking on his ice-cream. He offered to buy one for Sehun as well but the latter refused.
“That’s so mainstream”
“Shut up, Sehun. You’re so bitter and I don’t care how mainstream it is. Like God, I would totally have sex to the whole album”
Luhan’s sudden revelation causes Sehun to choke on his spit as he gives Luhan a judging look which soon turns into an amused look as he watches Luhan’s face turn red.
“Tsk, Lu. What a dirty mind that you have”
“Shut up”
Luhan retorts as he walks ahead of Sehun, causing the taller male to chuckle.
Since then, hanging out together at least three times a week has become a routine for both Sehun and Luhan. Sehun finds himself genuinely enjoying Luhan’s presence, he doesn’t even have to be told by his hyungs anymore to treat Luhan good. His treatment towards Luhan has changed drastically. He is more gentle, attentive and his hyungs notice that he also seems to have considered Luhan as a friend. Luhan on the other hand is enjoying his current life just as much as Sehun and his headache is not that frequent anymore.
Sometimes Sehun’s thoughts wander. What will happen once Luhan regains his memories? Will he still like Sehun just the same? The thought stings and he tries his best not to think about it too much and enjoy whatever life offers him at the moment. When it happens, happens and Sehun will just go with the flow.
“You look happier”
Baekhyun casually states and Sehun raises his eyebrow at that.
“Anyway, what have you and Luhan been doing these days?”
Sehun shrugs;
“Nothing much. We just hang out, sometimes we go to his apartment and do nothing in particular, just that yeah”
There is a look of an amusement on Baekhyun’s face and Sehun finds it suspicious but doesn’t comment further.
Befriending Luhan is a choice that Sehun made. However, developing a crush on on Luhan is definitely not. In the course of time, Sehun finds himself start to notice how pretty Luhan actually is and how he never noticed that until recently.
Luhan blinks and Sehun starts thinking about how long his eyelashes are.
Luhan laughs and Sehun starts thinking about how much he loves a happy Luhan.
Luhan drinks his bubble tea and Sehun starts thinking about his soft lips.
Luhan smiles and Sehun swears his heart do backflips.
It’s stupid. He doesn’t know how and why he suddenly starts developing a huge crush on Luhan. It also doesn’t help that Luhan is naturally a touchy person and Sehun panics whenever Luhan gets too close. His heart is beating so loud, does Luhan really not hear it?
Upon realizing his feelings, Sehun tries his best not to be obvious about it. He feels awkward and is on a constant edge that Luhan might discover his huge crush on him. Nonetheless, Sehun should have known better that he isn’t as slick as he thinks. Of course, Baekhyun would notice.
“Okay, what’s the deal with you?”
“Huh?”
Sehun tries his best to play dumb and Baekhyun rolls his eyes at that.
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed, Oh Sehun. Jongin acted exactly like you before when he started developing feelings for me”
”Like what?”
“All awkward. Fidgety and he refused to get too close to me; he later confessed that it was because his heart was beating so loud he was afraid I would hear it. Like a dumbass he is”
Baekhyun explains as a smile tugs at his lips, reminiscing Jongin being all panicky over his feelings for him. Before his mind wanders, he turns his focus back on Sehun and watches intently as the younger male seems to be having an internal fight with himself.
“Fuck it”
Sehun curses and Baekhyun scoffs at that.
“What’s the problem, anyway? It’s not like Luhan has a boyfriend or anything”
“Shut up, Baek”
Baekhyun laughs and sticks his tongue out at Sehun.
“Whipped loser”
Busy trying to not make it obvious that he likes Luhan, Sehun starts to distance himself a bit from Luhan, causing the older male to feel a tad sad. Whenever he asks to hang out together, Sehun gives never-ending excuses. He only picks Luhan up and then sends him home. That’s it. Not one to be left in the dark, Luhan confronts Sehun about it as the taller male drives him home.
“Sehun, did I do something wrong?”
“Huh? No, of course not”
Biting on his lower lip, Luhan shares what’s on his mind.
“You’re distancing yourself from me. We never hang out anymore”
Luhan says in a low voice, laced with bitterness and Sehun stays silent because he wasn’t prepared for this. He didn’t expect Luhan to notice which is dumb. Of course Luhan notices. Sehun is basically the only one that he’s the closest with in the meantime.
They have already arrived at the front of Luhan’s apartment and Sehun takes a deep breath, wrecking his brain to find the best explanations to give to Luhan.
“Lu….”
“Did you find out?”
Luhan suddenly asks and Sehun’s eyebrows knit in confusion.
“Huh? I - nevermind, I just, I mean, I’m”
Sehun knows that he’s blabbering but he just doesn’t know whether to be truthful or not. On one side, he feels like it’s pointless because what if Luhan regains his memories later on and he doesn’t want to be near Sehun anymore and things are going to be awkward between them? However, on the other side, Sehun knows that if he doesn’t confess, Luhan will continue thinking of himself as the problem and it might trigger his headache. Sehun doesn’t want that.
“Like…I, Lu -”
Luhan lets out a bitter laugh.
“So you knew”
“Huh?”
There is a look of confusion on Sehun’s face. What is Luhan going on about?
“How did you know, Sehun? How did you know that I like you? Did Baekhyun tell you?”
He asks and Sehun’s eyes widen. What?
“Is this why you’re staying away from me?”
Sehun wants to scream out ‘NO’ but he gets toungue-tied and Luhan assumes the worst.
“It must have felt uncomfortable, being with me and having to treat me good only for me to start developing feelings for you but Sehun……I never asked for my feelings to be returned so why do you distance yourself from me?”
Luhan tries his best not to spill his tears in front of Sehun and it is at that exact moment that he realizes he likes Sehun more than he thought. The thought of Sehun distancing himself from him kills him.
Sehun tries to let a few words out but he is still baffled and Luhan takes it as a sign of rejection. Gathering his stuff, Luhan gets out of the car as fast as possible and even when Sehun calls out to him, he doesn’t look back and locks himself inside his apartment.
Sehun sighs, leaning back and gives his forehead a slap.
“I’m so stupid”
The whole night, Sehun tries calling Luhan and leaves a few texts but Luhan doesn’t respond to any of his attempts.
Sehun has made up his mind. He is going to tell Luhan the truth and explains everything, face to face. It is Sunday, meaning there are no classes and Sehun was about to head to Luhan, wanting to spend the day with him but then his phone rings. It’s Baekhyun.
“Hey, hyung. What’s -”
“He remembers, Sehun! Luhan has regained his memories of us”
And Sehun feels his heart stop and everything around him turns silent.
Sehun is convinced that Luhan will not want to see him again after he regained his memories. Luhan may have confessed that he liked Sehun before but Sehun is pretty sure that he doesn’t feel the same anymore. And he briefly wonders if Luhan will also feel mad at him for lying? Sehun basically told him they were friends when they were not. Luhan must be feeling like he was played. Yet, Sehun still feels like he has to fess up, tell Luhan about his feelings and why he did what he did. Taking a deep breath and gathering the last ounce of courage, Sehun decides to send Luhan a text.
Hey Luhan. I heard that you have regained your memories and you probably no longer want to be friends with me anymore haha. It’s okay. We were like this before, I guess we could do the same again?
He sends the first text and looks at it, feeling the sting in his heart before he sends the second one.
Who am I kidding? I liked, no, I like your presence, Luhan. I like being around you. Perhaps even a bit too much. I was about to confess to you, face-to-face but now I don’t think I should. You probably see me as a liar or worse, a stranger. So here I am, sending you a text. Letting you know that I like you more than a friend. You make me happy. I wish you well, Luhan and I understand if you want us back to being strangers now but I can never treat you like one. Always here for you, Sehun.
Luhan doesn’t reply to his texts and Sehun understands.
Monday comes and Sehun is doing his best to avoid Luhan. He does it not for his sake but for Luhan’s. He refuses to eat with his hyungs and instead chooses to eat by himself, under the tree behind one of the school buildings.
The food tastes bland on his tongue and he grimaces, opting to just give up on eating and take a nap instead. Lying down and getting into the right position, Sehun closes his eyes and about to drift off to dreamland before he feels someone’s presence near him. He flutters his eyes open.
Luhan.
Sehun briefly wonders if he should just fake sleeping but he’s pretty sure that Luhan knows that he is awake. He licks his lip and gets into a sitting position, legs folded while his eyes are carefully meeting Luhan’s.
He holds his breath. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen Luhan for 2 days since he realized his feelings for the petite male but God, Luhan is gorgeous. Breathtakingly gorgeous.
“You’re avoiding me”
Luhan starts the conversation, looking a tad pissed. Sehun swallows his saliva nervously.
“Yeah…I’m doing it for you”
Luhan furrows his eyebrows, looking not at all pleased at the answer and Sehun hates that he’s currently thinking about how adorable Luhan looks.
“Sehun, I don’t want you to avoid me”
“Why not? You have regained your memories, right?”
“Yes, and?”
“So I figured we’re back to the way we were before?”
Luhan stomps his feet in annoyance and Sehun again, has to tell himself not to coo at Luhan because the older male is pissed and not acting cute.
“Sehun, I want you in my life”
Professed Luhan and Sehun momentarily loses his mind. Did he hear that right? Grumbling, Luhan finally sits beside Sehun. Carefully, he rests his head on Sehun’s shoulder, as if afraid of being rejected but Sehun has no intention of doing so.
“You’re so bad. Confessed through texts and then avoided me”
Out of habit, Sehun licks his lower lip and tries hard to come up with something that doesn’t make him sound like a loser but fails.
“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me”
Yelping when he feels a pinch on his waist, Sehun rubs the spot and turns his head slightly to look at Luhan but the latter is hiding his face in his neck and Sehun tries his best to breathe normally with Luhan so close to him.
“I never hated you, Sehun. Not before and not now. Just because we weren’t friends before, doesn’t mean that I hated your guts. And I understand why you did what you did while I was amnesiac. In fact, it’s admirable that you took care of me even though we were never close before. You’re an amazing person and I’m lucky that it’s you that I like”
Biting on his lip to stop his smile, Sehun carefully places his fingers on Luhan’s chin and lifts his head to look into his beautiful huge eyes.
“You like me?”
Pink is adorning Luhan’s cheeks and Sehun takes pride in being someone who affects Luhan in such a way.
“Shut up. Can we just kiss already?”
Sehun chuckles and leans forward to gently press his lips on Luhan’s.
They have exchanged words and it is now the time to physically show each other how they feel. Kissing leisurely under the tree while holding hands, both Sehun and Luhan can’t possibly ask for anything better.
Author’s Note: sorry if the dissociative amnesia happens in this story doesn’t make sense lmao but hey it’s fiction! also, this was a bit rushed but hope y’all can enjoy still