(no subject)
it's 1:45 am and i'm still up. my chest hurts a lot because i keep coughing. i'm sick. i had a fever last night which freaked me out because i don't usually get those. i felt like i was cooking. i probably had a fever for a long time but i was too busy sleeping and having fever induced dreams to notice. all i kept thinking about was "the founders" and how they control every single person. but the founders aren't people, or beings. they aren't a body or a government. and it all made perfect sense in my head. and i thought, this is a sign. this is something i need to remember. it means something. but i didn't really remember it too well. and then i put on the vampire diaries and here i am 19 episodes later. hating every second of it. but i couldn't do anything else. if i put on something funny, i'd love and then i'd cough and then i'd fall over dead from the pain. same if i put on something sad. vampire diaries just makes me roll my eyes a lot which doesn't cause me any pain. it's really not a good show. not even a a bad good show. it's just bad. when i feel better i'll probably stop watching it. i drank hot chocolate and regretted it. i don't know why. my friend goes off to france for two weeks tomorrow. i will miss them very much. i am looking at skiplagged for cheap flights to anywhere. but i'll probably never go! but who knows. 2016 is soon. that doesn't mean anything to me. i don't really make big resolutions or small resolutions or any resolutions. because i would never do them. i just am. and throughout the year if i feel i need to make a change, then i will. i can be renewed whenever i fucking want.