Say Goodbye~
Yesterday morning, we said goodbye to someone who was a true friend to us. He was a fierce protector, a guardian angel on earth, a companion of mine for 14 years.
I met him when he was a wee, well, not so wee, pup. Through the years, he grew to become such a strong gentleman, the one guy I could depend on, trust, and allow myself to love without reservation.
He was the brains of our family. He kept everyone in line, because Lord knows, we didn't have a handle on things. He was the reason I could sleep at night, just knowing he was by my side made me feel safe and at ease.
Up until the past few months, geez, maybe even the past year, this guy could play ball for hours. He actually made sure that ball got back into our hands, unlike the other beasties we have. Frisbees were his favorite, if you could keep one around for more than a day without him absolutely destroying it with his "killer" jaws. But I have seen this rambunctious, vibrant being slowly wither away. His legs just began failing him. So uncooperative with his sharp mind and strong heart. We have been helping him up and down the steps for a long while now. It's been so damn hard seeing his demise. The amazing thing is, even with useless legs, he STILL was able to remain the top dog. NOBODY messed with Kodi. :)
This past few weeks, Kodi's appetite has been shrinking. Up to the point of nada this past week. Meds helped, but if he was able to eat the things I cooked for him, his digestive system was not able to process the food. If it stayed down, it came out in horrid ways, filled with dark blood. The past few days, he vomited everything he ate or drank.
It's been awful to see, and equally awful to be completely helpless in helping him.
We took Kodiac in yesterday morning to see if anything could be done to help him be more comfortable. Praying for some kind of a miracle, I suppose.
But Kodi was filled with tumors, tumors that more than likely infiltrated into his digestive system.
At 14 years of age, goodness, that's, what, 92 in human years, we remained helpless.
We took Kodi outside after the vet examined him, we wanted to talk about what was best for him. Should we take him home, try giving him shots for the nausea and pain, and hope for some kind of a miracle? I couldn't bear watching this amazing soul wither away to nothing. I couldn't bear to see his bright eyes become dull and lifeless.
But, how in the hell could I make the decision to take what was left of his life and just end it, like that? I wasn't God.
While we were silently thinking, Kodi gave us the answer we needed to hear. He vomited, yet again, and, I feel he was telling us he was ready to go, it was okay.
I held his head in my lap while Freddie, Sumner and I watched him fall asleep. I felt his body relax and was very much aware of his brilliant soul flying free, leaving his physical prison behind.
He's a young pup again. Playing in the grass, sniffing the breeze, eating lots of food and feeling it fill up his belly while he flops over with a contented sigh.
He is resting his little fuzzy head on the lap of a little boy. Dreaming of the day he will be big enough to protect him, play ball with him, go for adventurous walks through the woods and sleep by his side when their day comes to an end.
I love you, Kodi, and I thank you so very much for being my rock, making me feel safe in this home, and every other home we have shared together. Thank you for remaining by my side, even when you had the ability to run off with the other dogs and chase deer during our long hikes and horseback rides. Thank you for being the logical voice and helping me to run things as smoothly as possible on a daily basis.
Thank you for being you, and for sharing your life with me.
Always and forever,
Mom
I met him when he was a wee, well, not so wee, pup. Through the years, he grew to become such a strong gentleman, the one guy I could depend on, trust, and allow myself to love without reservation.
He was the brains of our family. He kept everyone in line, because Lord knows, we didn't have a handle on things. He was the reason I could sleep at night, just knowing he was by my side made me feel safe and at ease.
Up until the past few months, geez, maybe even the past year, this guy could play ball for hours. He actually made sure that ball got back into our hands, unlike the other beasties we have. Frisbees were his favorite, if you could keep one around for more than a day without him absolutely destroying it with his "killer" jaws. But I have seen this rambunctious, vibrant being slowly wither away. His legs just began failing him. So uncooperative with his sharp mind and strong heart. We have been helping him up and down the steps for a long while now. It's been so damn hard seeing his demise. The amazing thing is, even with useless legs, he STILL was able to remain the top dog. NOBODY messed with Kodi. :)
This past few weeks, Kodi's appetite has been shrinking. Up to the point of nada this past week. Meds helped, but if he was able to eat the things I cooked for him, his digestive system was not able to process the food. If it stayed down, it came out in horrid ways, filled with dark blood. The past few days, he vomited everything he ate or drank.
It's been awful to see, and equally awful to be completely helpless in helping him.
We took Kodiac in yesterday morning to see if anything could be done to help him be more comfortable. Praying for some kind of a miracle, I suppose.
But Kodi was filled with tumors, tumors that more than likely infiltrated into his digestive system.
At 14 years of age, goodness, that's, what, 92 in human years, we remained helpless.
We took Kodi outside after the vet examined him, we wanted to talk about what was best for him. Should we take him home, try giving him shots for the nausea and pain, and hope for some kind of a miracle? I couldn't bear watching this amazing soul wither away to nothing. I couldn't bear to see his bright eyes become dull and lifeless.
But, how in the hell could I make the decision to take what was left of his life and just end it, like that? I wasn't God.
While we were silently thinking, Kodi gave us the answer we needed to hear. He vomited, yet again, and, I feel he was telling us he was ready to go, it was okay.
I held his head in my lap while Freddie, Sumner and I watched him fall asleep. I felt his body relax and was very much aware of his brilliant soul flying free, leaving his physical prison behind.
He's a young pup again. Playing in the grass, sniffing the breeze, eating lots of food and feeling it fill up his belly while he flops over with a contented sigh.
He is resting his little fuzzy head on the lap of a little boy. Dreaming of the day he will be big enough to protect him, play ball with him, go for adventurous walks through the woods and sleep by his side when their day comes to an end.
I love you, Kodi, and I thank you so very much for being my rock, making me feel safe in this home, and every other home we have shared together. Thank you for remaining by my side, even when you had the ability to run off with the other dogs and chase deer during our long hikes and horseback rides. Thank you for being the logical voice and helping me to run things as smoothly as possible on a daily basis.
Thank you for being you, and for sharing your life with me.
Always and forever,
Mom