Leave a comment

Your BF edit! part two! keppiehed June 21 2010, 01:54:10 UTC
-The screams rang through the air[,] and when the children approached the hungry mind[,] they dropped to the ground.

-The sound had annoyed the hungry one[,] and in return the children found death.

-The hungry one was suddenly in pain, whoever controlled the Freak Squad apparently wasn't pleased with the hungry one's heavy[-]handed punishment.

-There was something about it[,] and I realized a presence like the Freak Squad's was coming from it.

-The man touched the front of the amulet[,] and I only had a moment to glimpse at what lay inside the amulet.

-The eye was the same blue as my own[,] and the thick gray thing behind it was part of the brain.

-"Well then[,] what should we call you?" the woman asked.

-"Explain your powers[,] and the first procedure will take place with you unconscious," the woman said[,] and I decided to go the easy way.

-"I think you're going to wait for a few years[,] Digger.

-Our scientists assure me that should another one like Ripper [a]rise[.]" [H]e gave me a deep look[,] letting me know all too well who he thought might be that possible Ripper.

-"That's just fine, Digger here isn't going anywhere," the General stated[,] and I felt my hate grow and rise.

-I had eight years to sharpen my skill[,] and when the chance presented itself, I would destroy both my tormentors.

This reminded me both of comic book, like a dark super-hero origin tale, and at the beginning of some sort of manga. Very intriguing! Thanks for sharing this with us!

Reply

Re: Your BF edit! part two! selkie_queen June 22 2010, 23:28:14 UTC
Thank you for taking the time to edit, I write very long pieces and I always feel bad for the people who draw me to edit for. I appreciate your time.

Digger is a strange character. She's devoid of guilt and common emotions, I think she's really my first attempt to write a complete sociopath.

Reply

Re: Your BF edit! part two! keppiehed June 22 2010, 23:38:33 UTC
O, don't feel bad at all. It was a pleasure, and I am glad I could be of help!

Reply


Leave a comment

Up