(no subject)
Something Incredible
~*~*~
“I mean, how the hell do you impress a chick like that?” Zero-G said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose at the Table of Heroic Unity. “She can learn anything after seeing it.”
“At least she can’t learn other superpowers,” Mighty Max said as he scratched at his stubble.
“Yeah, she can only make you feel stupid and possibly kick your ass in martial arts,” Rubber Man snickered until Mighty Max slapped him upside the head. Making Rubber Man’s neck stretch before it snapped his head back to slam into his shoulders. “Ow!”
“Gentlemen, I suggest you finish this conversation quickly, the women are coming,” Apollo said, shaking his head as he watched the more uncivilized heroes talk.
“You know, for a god, you’re no help in this area,” Zero-G lamented and Apollo snorted.
“I will not help you, first of all, because my fair love has ordered me to stay out of the affairs of mortals and second, I wouldn’t want any of you louts as lovers either,” Apollo stated making Rubber Man inch away. Most of the heroes forgot that Apollo wasn’t really picky with his love interests. “Oh stop that, you only make yourself look more like a fool.” With that Apollo turned his head to smile at the door, it was clear that Ice Queen was approaching. When the Union of Heroes had defeated Cronus it had been revealed that Ice Queen was the reincarnation of Apollo’s true love Daphne. This time Ice Queen was free to love the god and the two had been nearly sickening as a couple.
The giant doors opened and Incredible Woman laughed as she pounded Brainiac on the back as they entered. The taller woman stumbled under the stronger woman’s pat.
“Careful ladies, we don’t want to break the floor again,” Ice Queen said as she sauntered in, her icy demeanor melting away as she saw the sun god.
“I’m gonna hurl,” Rubber Man muttered as Ice Queen and Apollo kissed. Incredible Woman laughed before slapping him in the center of his back, sending his upper body stretching across the table. Zero-G smiled nervously at Brainiac but was promptly ignored.
“Has anyone see Shadow?” Ice Queen asked and the men shook their heads before a sensuous form seemed to pull off the wall and take a seat.
“I was here the whole time,” Shadow purred as she looked at Zero-G and he gulped nervously.
“Alright, heroes, we have an emergency,” a voice boomed as Captain Glorious entered the room accompanied by Madam Mayhem. She had been the Captain’s greatest enemy until after a tryst she turned up pregnant at the Union’s Hall. They were on number four if Madam Mayhem’s cuddling of the Captain’s arm was any indication.
“What’s the situation?” Incredible Woman asked as she cracked her shoulders before grinning. Madam Mayhem pressed a few buttons on the main computer.
“The League of Evil Doers is planning an attack on Biomechanics Inc. We need to stop it,” she said. Mighty Max raised his hand and Madam pointed at him.
“Um…how do we know this?” he asked and Madam Mayhem smirked.
“Long ago I created tiny spider spy bots, they were originally intended for…well, you know, but when Timmy came around I decided that they could be of heroic use. They caught the Manila Maniac planning in his laboratory. Apparently his latest batch of evil paper products wasn’t working so he wanted to raid BI for something to help with his problem,” she explained and the Union nodded.
“We’ll be splitting up into teams,” Captain Glorious said. “I and my wife, I mean, Madam Mayhem, will be heading to guard BI. We want to have teams stationed around the perimeter. Apollo and Ice Queen will take the skies above, the most likely path of the L.O.E.D. Rubber Man and Shadow will take the forest to the Eastern side. Mighty Max and Brainiac will cover the Western side. Lastly, Zero-G and Incredible Woman will handle the sewers.”
“Man,” Zero-G muttered as he looked at Brainiac longingly while Mighty Max made faces at him.
“Why are you complaining, you don’t have an incredible sense of smell,” Incredible Woman sighed before punching Mighty Max in the side of the head, causing him to fly into the far wall.
“Children, I really don’t want to have to spend tonight fixing anything you break,” Madam Mayhem warned and the heroes sighed as they headed out. Zero-G looked at Incredible Woman as she headed towards the launch pad. To be honest they had never worked together, usually Incredible Woman and Mighty Max were a team with their superior strength and senses.
Although, as he looked at her, their costumes did look good together, sort of how Ice Queen and Apollo’s costumes looked good. Zero-G was in a classic white bodysuit with a black zero surrounding a G on his chest, he wore black gloves and boots with a little black mask over his eyes to keep his identity secret. Incredible Woman was wearing a black, well bathing suit, with black gloves to her elbows and boots to her knees. Her pale skin and white hair accented her simple outfit.
“Are you coming?” she asked and Zero-G grunted as they stepped onto the launch pad. They arrived in time to see Shadow and Rubber Man drive off on the roof on the Rubber Cycle, the large ball-like tires catching and bouncing them as they landed thirty stories down on the ground. Apollo and Ice Queen took the Sun Chariot into the sky, vanishing into the clouds quickly. Captain Glorious and Madam Mayhem took the Magnificent Glory-copter after the Sun Chariot. Mighty Max was crammed into the back of the Brainijet’s cockpit as Brainiac took off.
“Um, you don’t have some sort of vehicle do you?” Incredible Woman asked and Zero-G realize she had never noticed him.
“No, I thought you did,” he added realizing he didn’t know she didn’t have vehicle.
“So how do you get to missions?” they both asked each other and then chuckled in unison.
“Mighty Max and I usually run,” Incredible Woman stated and Zero-G nodded, he had seen the two race in the gym he should have known.
“I fly,” he stated, pointing to his chest and she laughed before tapping her forehead with her palm.
“Well that was stupid on my part,” she laughed and they smiled for a moment. “I don’t think we’ll be running to BI.” Zero G blinked as he looked at Incredible Woman, she wasn’t built as slight and curvy as Brainiac, she was more solid, slightly curvy, not fat, but no supermodel.
“Oh, yeah,” he said before lifting her up, he was shocked to find she didn’t weigh all that much and with a little boost from his powers she was pretty much weightless in his arms. He took off and they flew to the entrance to the sewers nearest to BI. They landed and she opened up the manhole and winced before indicating he go first.
“No, no, ladies first,” he said and she snorted.
“Get in there you big baby, I have the incredible sense of smell,” she said and Zero-G sighed as he floated into the sewer and Incredible Woman followed behind him.
“So where should we wait?” Zero-G asked and Incredible Woman sniffed the air.
“I’ll find us a nest where I can hear or smell them coming,” she stated as she walked along the maintenance pathway.
They went through a maze of tunnels before she paused and pointed to a small hollow in the wall. Zero-G sighed as he crawled in and Incredible Woman squeezed in next to him. At first they were silent and then the inevitable boredom got them talking.
“So, how’d you get so incredible?” he asked and she smiled, flipping some of her white hair over her shoulder.
“My parents were some of the soldiers at the military base the Meteor Matador attacked back in the thirties. They survived, the only couple from the base to even have children. I’ve always been incredible, my little sister is normal and my younger brothers are conjoined twins, but they can stretch twenty feet apart when they want,” she said and Zero-G blinked.
“I didn’t know you had siblings,” he said and she nodded.
“So what’s your story?” she asked and he blushed.
“My big brother is a genius, so are my mom and dad, I’m the only normal intelligence in the family,” he sighed, thinking about how much he wanted Brainiac to love him, then he could bring her home to his family. “My big brother was inventing an anti-gravity device and I volunteered. It blew up and I got the powers.”
“Ah, that explains it,” she said and nodded. Zero-G blinked.
“Explains what?” he asked and Incredible Woman grinned.
“Brainiac, you want her because she’s what you wish you were,” Incredible Woman said and Zero-G blinked.
“That’s not true. She’s beautiful, graceful, smart,” he stated.
“No duh, she’s smart, she’s Brainiac. But it explains why you’ve been chasing after her and ignoring all other women,” she said with a smirk and he blushed.
“That’s not true,” he muttered and Incredible Woman laughed. It was husky and liberated, not the soft chuckle of Brainiac.
“Oh come on, Mighty Max and Rubber Man were just about dying when Shadow tried to get her claws in you,” she grinned and Zero-G’s eyes went wide.
“She never…” he started but she shook her head.
“She totally did. Remember when she emerged from the shadows without any clothes on save for her mask? That was to get you in her bed,” Incredible Woman said and Zero-G blushed. He had had dreams about that for months.
“Oh, if she had said something…” he stammered and Incredible Woman shook her head.
“Shadow is like her namesake, shady and elusive,” she said. “You do know Brainiac would be horrible for you.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked as he made a nearby rat float into the air and off away from them.
“She’s just like your family. It would be like dating your own mother, father, or brother,” Incredible Woman said before holding up a hand in warning before shaking her head. “Just a raccoon. That thing is a king down here.”
“You really think it would be like dating a member of my family,” he asked and she nodded.
“It says you’re close to your family, but it would be a bad relationship. I mean, hell, you became a superhero because you wanted to be like them enough you were a willing lab rat,” she pointed out and Zero-G sighed.
“I don’t know, I guess you’re right,” he said, there were a few moments of silence. “Think Shadow will give me another shot?”
“No, she’s all into Rubber Man now,” Incredible Woman said before smiling at him. “Besides, why would you want a flaky waif like that when you could have something better?” Zero-G was suddenly aware he had about two inches of room to move.
“Um…better?” he asked and Incredible Woman grinned.
“I always thought you smelled good, I’m starting to think you’re not too bad for other things,” she purred and Zero-G gulped nervously as she managed to back him into the corner more.
~*~*~
A few hours later Zero-G was panting as he felt his communicator vibrate below him somewhere. Incredible woman reached back and hit hers.
“Incredible and Zero-G,” she called, obviously not out of breath.
“There was a minor squad of LOED to the west and a few of the leaders tried a head on attack but we’ve caught them all. You can head out, we’ll meet you at base,” Captain Glorious said and Incredible Woman grinned.
“We’ll see you in a bit then, Captain,” she said before hitting the communicator and then leaning over Zero-G. “Ready for another round?” He thought about whimpering but then he caught the sexy smile on her lips and he grinned back.
“Only if you make it incredible,” he stated.
~*~*~
Several hours after that Zero-G landed with Incredible Woman in his arms. Shadow had Rubber Man trapped, her long arms caging him between her body and the wall.
“Hey!” Rubber Man called anxiously before ducking under Shadow’s arms and running over. “What took you two so long? Everyone’s been home for hours.” The fear in Rubber Man’s eyes was obvious and Zero-G wondered if he should just tell Rubber Man to go with the flow.
“Oh, Zero-G just took me to the gun show,” Incredible Woman stated as she caught his hand and started pulling him away.
“Why would you guys want to go to the gun show?” Rubber Man asked.
“Because women love to play with nice big guns that are about to blow,” Shadow cooed as she ran a finger over Rubber Man’s ear. He blushed bright red before looking at Zero-G and then Incredible Woman.
“Oh…that kind of gun,” he muttered and Incredible Woman chuckled.
“I’d like to play with my new gun more,” she whispered and Zero-G smiled happily at the thought.
"I'm with you, I like playing with guns," Shadow purred as she wrapped around Rubber Man. Zero-G couldn't help but laugh as the two vanished into a shadow. You really never knew when you were going to run into something incredible on the job.
~*~*~
Author's Note: I enjoy super heroes but I often find their relationships a wee bit like the Young and the Restless, especially when you go the Marvel route. I don't know why but the term "gun show" kept running through my mind for this. Yes, I know gun shows are showing off the arms, but I figured Incredible Woman wouldn't be impressed with pretty muscles when she's super strong. I couldn't help myself.