“Mother, we are honored to be called to sup with you,” Fanged-doll said from his low bow. Cinder and I exchanged a look before we bowed only slightly, neither one of us wanting to take our eyes from the massive spider. I knew that Cinder had caught the missing three eyes from the right side of our grandmother’s face. If we needed to fight our grandmother, I would come from the left and Cinder the right.
“I am so pleased to finally meet my lovely granddaughters,” The Great Eight Soul Eater said as she approached us. I was surprised how silent such a large creature was until I saw the small clouds below her talons and I realized that while The Great Eight Soul Eater valued magic she would gladly waste power to make herself seem more powerful. I felt confident that while my grandmother was powerful, I would be capable of overpowering her magic.
“Grandmother,” Cinder and I spoke in unison, we were working on a slight mental link that I had set up before we entered the Goblin Underground. It would help to intimidate the Goblins which is ninety percent of Goblin social behavior.
‘”Grandmother”…unison’ should be its own sentence, as should the clause that follows, which is a bit awkward; try something like “I had set up a mental link between my sister and myself, to help intimidate the goblins; in goblin society, your rank is determined by how intimidating you are”
“We are so pleased to meet you at long last.” My eyes were on The Great Eight Soul Eater while Cinder’s covered the rest of the room. Sometimes I did envy her eyes in the back of the head and the independence between each of her eyes. It was so limiting to only be looking one way.
Nice observation.
“So you are the Sidhe-blooded Cinder and the Sidhe-blooded Ash,” our grandmother said and I realized that we were to be named by our Goblin blood. The Sidhe King had named us when we were born because the Sidhe had won the last Sidhe-Goblin War and it was the King’s right to name mixed-bloods. In the Goblin Court it was the head of the clan who named the children and we were to be named by The Great Eight Soul Ea?ter.
This is interesting, but what caused her to realize this?
“Mother…” Fanged-doll whispered as he looked at us nervously. He had been named to humiliate him for while my father seemed somewhat human compared to a Goblin he was still a nightmare compared to a human.
“I am so pleased to finally meet my lovely granddaughters,” The Great Eight Soul Eater said as she approached us. I was surprised how silent such a large creature was until I saw the small clouds below her talons and I realized that while The Great Eight Soul Eater valued magic she would gladly waste power to make herself seem more powerful. I felt confident that while my grandmother was powerful, I would be capable of overpowering her magic.
“Grandmother,” Cinder and I spoke in unison, we were working on a slight mental link that I had set up before we entered the Goblin Underground. It would help to intimidate the Goblins which is ninety percent of Goblin social behavior.
‘”Grandmother”…unison’ should be its own sentence, as should the clause that follows, which is a bit awkward; try something like “I had set up a mental link between my sister and myself, to help intimidate the goblins; in goblin society, your rank is determined by how intimidating you are”
“We are so pleased to meet you at long last.” My eyes were on The Great Eight Soul Eater while Cinder’s covered the rest of the room. Sometimes I did envy her eyes in the back of the head and the independence between each of her eyes. It was so limiting to only be looking one way.
Nice observation.
“So you are the Sidhe-blooded Cinder and the Sidhe-blooded Ash,” our grandmother said and I realized that we were to be named by our Goblin blood. The Sidhe King had named us when we were born because the Sidhe had won the last Sidhe-Goblin War and it was the King’s right to name mixed-bloods. In the Goblin Court it was the head of the clan who named the children and we were to be named by The Great Eight Soul Ea?ter.
This is interesting, but what caused her to realize this?
“Mother…” Fanged-doll whispered as he looked at us nervously. He had been named to humiliate him for while my father seemed somewhat human compared to a Goblin he was still a nightmare compared to a human.
Comma after ‘him’.
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