Mildly gendered slurs
"Pearl-clutching" came up recently relevant to WorldCon (a panel moderator ran over his panel with a monologue supposedly about SJW pearl-clutchers), and reminded me that I've been meaning to write about it as a gendered slur for some time now. Generally it's women who wear pearls, and women who are accused of getting "hysterical" (another gendered slur) over small unimportant things. To categorize anyone with concerns over a social issue as "pearl-clutching" is pretty much saying they're brainless over-emotional women. Applied to men, it's also a kind of gender policing.
Just this morning, I responded to someone (in a friends-locked post, feel free to identify yourself) looking for a less-gendered term than "wanking" for someone going on and on in a conversation (monologue). I generally use "wanking" to describe self-indulgent musical solos that go on and on, myself, but I understand the desire for a less-gendered but still punchy phrase. Others had some suggestions. I came up with "broviating" which I realized afterwards is of course every bit as male-centered as wanking, but I still like it.
I remember when someone lectured me on my supposed sexism a few years ago for using the term mansplaining, in reference to a man who had been "explaining" something to me I knew more about than him (dance history). I was unimpressed by her argument, since I don't intend to pretend that it's something women do as much as men, especially since I don't think it's helpful to insist that we blind ourselves to gendered patterns of behavior when we're trying to identify cultural weight that shapes our behavior. Certainly women can 'splain on *other* axes to the supposedly-unenlighted (e.g., privsplaining), but I haven't seen them do it as insistently in the face of evidence the other person is already quite knowledgeable on the subject, thank you. Still, now that I've come up with "broviating" I may start using that instead, since it has the connotation of a certain kind of man. (#notallmen)
Similarly: Years ago, I was happy to come across the term "manspreading" to describe people (generally men) who spread their legs to take up two or three seats on trains, since it seemed much more polite than the term I'd seen, "lava-balling" (their balls are so hot, they have to spread their legs or spontaneously combust!). But someone posted on Facebook last week or so, an illustration from a Victorian newspaper which showed a man doing that thing, and it had an even more polite and gender-neutral term for it. Alas, I can't remember it. Possibly since I've never seen a women do such a thing.
I have strong opinions, but actually am open to discussion on all this.
Just this morning, I responded to someone (in a friends-locked post, feel free to identify yourself) looking for a less-gendered term than "wanking" for someone going on and on in a conversation (monologue). I generally use "wanking" to describe self-indulgent musical solos that go on and on, myself, but I understand the desire for a less-gendered but still punchy phrase. Others had some suggestions. I came up with "broviating" which I realized afterwards is of course every bit as male-centered as wanking, but I still like it.
I remember when someone lectured me on my supposed sexism a few years ago for using the term mansplaining, in reference to a man who had been "explaining" something to me I knew more about than him (dance history). I was unimpressed by her argument, since I don't intend to pretend that it's something women do as much as men, especially since I don't think it's helpful to insist that we blind ourselves to gendered patterns of behavior when we're trying to identify cultural weight that shapes our behavior. Certainly women can 'splain on *other* axes to the supposedly-unenlighted (e.g., privsplaining), but I haven't seen them do it as insistently in the face of evidence the other person is already quite knowledgeable on the subject, thank you. Still, now that I've come up with "broviating" I may start using that instead, since it has the connotation of a certain kind of man. (#notallmen)
Similarly: Years ago, I was happy to come across the term "manspreading" to describe people (generally men) who spread their legs to take up two or three seats on trains, since it seemed much more polite than the term I'd seen, "lava-balling" (their balls are so hot, they have to spread their legs or spontaneously combust!). But someone posted on Facebook last week or so, an illustration from a Victorian newspaper which showed a man doing that thing, and it had an even more polite and gender-neutral term for it. Alas, I can't remember it. Possibly since I've never seen a women do such a thing.
I have strong opinions, but actually am open to discussion on all this.