[Supernatural] Parenting Lessons for the Unable
Parenting Lessons for the Unable
by: Selim
Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Rating: K+
Summary: For the mpregwinchesters: 2014 Comment Meme. Jared is pregnant and Jensen wants to not only help him ease his aches but be closer to Jared during the pregnancy. So he signs them up for a couple's pregnancy class (can be like a yoga or a bonding or a birthing class).
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, while persons do exist the context of which they are written is purely fictional.
Jared wouldn’t lie - when he first found out he was pregnant, he was sure it was over. Jensen was sweet and all, but he’d seen the story happen time and time again. As soon as the fun sex had a consequence, the man would buckle up and leave. Jeff’s biological father had done it, three of his cousins were now single parents, and at least a handful of friends had seen it as well.
Every day he expected to come back to the apartment he shared with Jensen to find the man had stripped him clean and disappeared into the day. Instead what he found was more surprising.
Jensen was attentive. If Jared had been eyeing the package of Oreo cookies, Jensen would grab a glass of milk and carry the bag to the couch where they would both sit and enjoy a snack while watching some quirky program Jared was fond of. By the fifth month, Jared didn’t even have to mention cravings as Jensen just knew.
Truly the man was God’s gift to Carrier’s everywhere. He didn’t even complain when Jared slapped his thigh because he’d grabbed mild sauce at Taco Bell instead of medium.
“Parenting Class?” Jared frowned over the multitude of pamphlets littering the kitchen table. “Thought you said after that wood working class I signed us up for there would be no more ‘classes’.” He made quotation marks with his fingers with a brow raised. After, he dropped his hand on his bulging belly. Six months, almost there and they’d be blessed with little Thomas Ackles (although Jared had been surfing the baby name nets as was becoming very interested in Mark, Liam, and Anthony).
“Yeah, but this isn’t like those classes.” Jensen sat across the table. “These are great for first time parents. Besides are nieces and nephews, we haven’t had little babies in our care, especially alone. The last time I saw my niece, I put soda in her bottle! I want to be perfect for our little Thomas!”
He rubbed his hand over the side of his belly where he imagined a tiny foot was pressing against the skin. “Well…”
“And I know you’ve been scared to. Think of it like a bonding experience, just the three of us.” Jensen smiled.
Never one to say no to that huge smile, Jared flashed one back. “All right then, let’s do it. You me and Liam, all going to class.”
“Yes- wait, Liam?” Jensen blinked, but true to his nature didn’t press the change in baby name. They still had a few more months to cement at least one name.
Parenting class was located in the community college. Unlike the brochure that offered pictures of families ranging in age, it actually had several young parents ranging from high school to early college, all complaining their parents had made them come to show each and every one that it wasn’t a game.
Feeling like the oldest person in the room (even though Jensen had him beat by four years), Jared settled into the furthest seat as his husband shuffled through the lime green book that explained pregnancy.
“This is what our little Liam looks like right now,” Jensen leaned the thin book towards Jared, pointing towards center cartoon image of a nearly developed child on the verge of turning over. The picture made it look huge. And ugly. Jared swallowed. “Ohh,” an interested sound, “anal discharge in carriers as the cervix dilates and prepares for the little bundle. You’ve definitely had that the other night.”
Covering his face, Jared growled. “Shut up, Jen.”
“I’m just reading. Right now Liam has his sex organs, he might even have some hair on his head. I wish we could see that, I wonder where he gets his camera shyness from? Going to the bathroom more, check, overactive sex drive, check, check, and che-ow.”
Pulling his foot back, Jared hissed. “You’re acting like a child.”
“I’m learning, there’s a difference.” Jensen rubbed his shins.
The Parenting Instructor was an older woman who spoke jovially about her own five children. She reassured all the new mothers and fathers that they wouldn’t master it at first and each child was different, but once they knew what to expect, it would all be different. Then she handed out dolls.
Almost immediately his doll started screaming. All he did was cuddle the useless contraption and it began to wail and wail. Rocking it did little, offering food did nothing, and its diaper was dry. “It’s broken!” He seethed at Jensen as the other man watched.
“Let me see.”
“No, I can do this, I have to do this.” He turned away from Jensen. The man went back to listening to the instructor talk with a young family about the changes the carrier’s body was going through and the general disinterest.
On the back of the baby doll was the battery pack. Without thinking about it, Jared opened the pack and the screaming became a loud siren before fading into nothingness.
Suddenly the center of attention, Jared did the only thing he could think of. Pushing the two pieces into his husband’s hands, he cried out, “Jen, what did you do!”
He hadn’t been told to sit outside the classroom since he was twelve and kept making farting noises everytime the teacher walked.
Dinner was quiet between the two. The teacher had asked them to bring the doll home. She had asked that Jared practice relaxation techniques before working with the baby, but there was a definite request that Jensen take over. It was all so sickening.
Little Bobby as Jensen called the thing started crying almost immediately and Jensen spent dinner walking around the table pacifying it with soft singing and rocking. Jared scooped potatoes off his husband’s plate and ate them.
“I think he needs a diaper change.”
“Good, go change it.” Jared cut off a piece of Jensen’s steak. Mm.
“Stop eating my food and come help me.” Jensen calmly too his elbow and led him into the living room. In preparation for the baby, Jensen’s office had bought them a changing table. Now the proud owner of two tables, the nicer one had ended up in the corner of their small living room, ready to be used. “Take Bobby.” He pushed the child into Jared’s arms and nudged him over to the changing station. “Lay him down.’
Jared did just that . “Hey, there’s not really going to be - y’know - in there, is there?”
Jensen chuckled. “Pull open the elastic and find out.”
Each step of changing the diaper was worked through. “You’re a natural,” Jared whispered after as Jensen ate dinner. Holding the baby in his arms, Jared couldn’t look the other man in the eye.
“Used to babysit when I was younger.” He closed his hand on Jared. “I’m going to be there, Jared. Just take a deep breath and we’ll get through all the stress together.
Jared took a deep breath.
Rolling into the last week of Month Seven brought Jensen another class. “We haven’t even talked about birth yet, Jay! It’s not like going to the store and saying we want our six pound baby and a side of potatoes salad.” He took Jared’s hand, entering the hospital’s maternity ward.
Jared almost took a step back. Did he really look like that? Putting a self conscious hand on Baby Ethan’s bump, he took a step closer to Jensen as they were instructed to take a seat on the mat. Taking cue from some other parent, Jensen settled the pillow he’d brought on his front and urged Jared to half sit on his lap.
“How many babies?” Asked the red face woman next to him. Jared frowned, taking in his belly versus hers. God, he was so fat. No more steak and potatoes or chips or burritos or…
“Just one,” Jensen smiled. “He’s all his momma, going to be born so big.” He cupped Jared’s belly as he rolled his nose into brunette locks.
“Aw.”
Jared grumbled, looking away. When he no longer felt the stare of other’s eyes, he slapped Jensen’s hand. “You don’t need to go all lovely on me. An once this stupid lesson is done, I want ice cream. Not frozen yogurt, real ice cream. Whole milk.”
“Of course, love.” Jensen rocked him.
Three months ago the rocking would have made him nauseous. These days, it made the baby settle down and Jared feel oh so good. Closing his hand over Jensen’s, he closed his eyes.
“Mothers and daddys! Welcome! Why don’t we go around introduce ourselves, tell me about your little one.”
Jensen always spoke for Jared at these events. It wasn’t their usual act (usually getting Jensen to talk was like pulling teeth), but the pregnant man enjoyed the rich voice. “I’m Jensen, this is Jared. We’re having our first son - no name set in stone yet. We’ll know when it happens. Er, the best thing we’ve been enjoying about pregnancy is… definitely afternoons. Jared’s tuckered out and he baby is sleeping so it’s like when we first met all over again.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jared grunted. “I like baths. Nothing hurts and Jensen’s on the other side of the door.”
“Ignore him, he’s kind of testy before three, it’s when his cravings are at a peak, but the doctor asked him to limit how many calories he’s eating. Not good for the ankles.” Another squeeze and the next woman started talking.
Jared so did not pinch his husband, if anyone wants to know. It was probably a bee sting.
Halfway through the lesson, while meditating about the taste of a double cheeseburger he noticed the pillow kept raising and sinking. It had been a nice massage, but the pace was too similar to the breathing technique the birthing instructor was demonstrating. Cracking open an eye, Jared tilted his head back.
Jensen’s eyes were closed and he was practicing his breathing technique.
“You know,” Jared grumbled, “You look constipated like that.”
“Hush, Jay. At least try to learn this stuff, you’re going to need it.”
“With you sponging all the information, I think I’m good.” Jared laid back to go back to his dreams about cheeseburgers.
A month and a half later, Jensen was at it again. Feeling huge and just tired, Jared couldn’t find a sarcastic bone in his body as he was dragged out of his nice warm bed and driven back to the hospital for another class. Maybe, he breathed, Jensen felt he would take another Lamaze class serious now that they were coming up on the big day?
Fat chance, he snorted. These days he wasn’t anxious about the day he’d find Jensen gone, he anticipated it. Oh how quiet the house would be. No more ‘Jared! Jared! Right now, the baby’s head is right here and your cervix is thickened up to provide support. Have you began expelling the anal plug yet? Why aren’t you looking? No, I’m not telling you to play in your poop, just look. It should be kind of pale and slimy-‘
The bedroom door just wasn’t thick enough.
“There they are! I wasn’t sure if you two would make it,” The nurse smiled at them upon entering the matted classroom that had been used for birthing lessons. “Take a baby-“ ugh, not another one of those robotic trolls - “And find a place to sit. Daddy’s make your carrier as comfortable as possible!”
Jensen settled on the floor. He offered a hand to Jared, but instead Jared went to the side of the room and dragged an actual chair over. There was no way in hell he was sitting on the floor. He wasn’t going to ask Jensen to help get up.
“Breast feeding!” The nurse threw her hands in the air.
“I’m using formula. Come on, Jensen, maybe I can still make it for my show’s conclusion.” He stood back up.
“Jay! Jay, wait!” Jensen climbed off his ass, found his center of balance and started towards Jared. Almost out the door, the taller man grunted as his elbow was grabbed. “Please, don’t go, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where we were going, I just thought it would be another good class to take.”
“You’re nuts, Jen. Learning nuts!” Jared carded his hands through his hair. “All I want to do is be at home, feet up, and watching Ghost Tales from Beyond the Grave. I don’t have long before my days are going to be filled with our son, whose voice box I can’t remove!”
“Jay, I did all this so we could be together!”
“We can be together at home! Why are you really doing this, Jen?”
Jensen’s shoulders sagged. With a heavy exhale, he looked away. “I just, I thought it would help.”
“Help? Jen, both are parents told us that these classes are nice, but it’s nothing like the real thing. We’ll learn as we go and your parents are coming up to help us.” He took a deep breath. Oh boy, James did not like that. He rubbed his belly for the nth time that day. If he didn’t now better, the child was purposely punching his kidneys to tell both parents to be quiet.
“I know that, I just wanted to experience it all with you. You’re always complaining that I’ll never understand and you’re right, I’m not a carrier so I can’t take the discomforts from you. I can at least try though.”
Jared frowned. “What? You’re doing this…for you?”
Cheeks pink, Jensen scrunched his nose. “I just wanted to get a full understanding of what your body was going through.”
Gah, why was his face burning? Stupid hormones. Jared stepped close. What a sight, he decided as he wrapped his arms around Jensen. Pregnant or not, he still engulfed little Jensen. “I’m sorry for being a jerk about all this.”
“Can we stay?” Jensen asked.
“Promise me you don’t expect me to breast feed.”
“Of course not!”
“I supposed then.” Jared tilted his head back. “Go on, enjoy your make believe pregnancy. I’m going to go sit in a chair in the corner and try not to puke.”
“You got to sit with me, Jay.” Jensen tucked their hands together.
“Do I have to? You embarrass me.”
“Yes.”
“…Can I take pictures of you trying to feed a pretend baby?”
“Of course.”
“Then fine.” Jared started back into the open space. Lucky for him, the nurse had been professional and encouraged everyone to continue the lesson rather than watch the spectacle occurring on the other side of the room. “It’s a good thing you’ve been really into all this.”
“Why?” Jensen asked as he helped Jared to the floor.
Rubbing his belly again, Jared chuckled nervously. “Because I just realized I’m pregnant and me and the baby have no idea what to do.”
by: Selim
Pairings: Jensen/Jared
Rating: K+
Summary: For the mpregwinchesters: 2014 Comment Meme. Jared is pregnant and Jensen wants to not only help him ease his aches but be closer to Jared during the pregnancy. So he signs them up for a couple's pregnancy class (can be like a yoga or a bonding or a birthing class).
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, while persons do exist the context of which they are written is purely fictional.
Jared wouldn’t lie - when he first found out he was pregnant, he was sure it was over. Jensen was sweet and all, but he’d seen the story happen time and time again. As soon as the fun sex had a consequence, the man would buckle up and leave. Jeff’s biological father had done it, three of his cousins were now single parents, and at least a handful of friends had seen it as well.
Every day he expected to come back to the apartment he shared with Jensen to find the man had stripped him clean and disappeared into the day. Instead what he found was more surprising.
Jensen was attentive. If Jared had been eyeing the package of Oreo cookies, Jensen would grab a glass of milk and carry the bag to the couch where they would both sit and enjoy a snack while watching some quirky program Jared was fond of. By the fifth month, Jared didn’t even have to mention cravings as Jensen just knew.
Truly the man was God’s gift to Carrier’s everywhere. He didn’t even complain when Jared slapped his thigh because he’d grabbed mild sauce at Taco Bell instead of medium.
“Parenting Class?” Jared frowned over the multitude of pamphlets littering the kitchen table. “Thought you said after that wood working class I signed us up for there would be no more ‘classes’.” He made quotation marks with his fingers with a brow raised. After, he dropped his hand on his bulging belly. Six months, almost there and they’d be blessed with little Thomas Ackles (although Jared had been surfing the baby name nets as was becoming very interested in Mark, Liam, and Anthony).
“Yeah, but this isn’t like those classes.” Jensen sat across the table. “These are great for first time parents. Besides are nieces and nephews, we haven’t had little babies in our care, especially alone. The last time I saw my niece, I put soda in her bottle! I want to be perfect for our little Thomas!”
He rubbed his hand over the side of his belly where he imagined a tiny foot was pressing against the skin. “Well…”
“And I know you’ve been scared to. Think of it like a bonding experience, just the three of us.” Jensen smiled.
Never one to say no to that huge smile, Jared flashed one back. “All right then, let’s do it. You me and Liam, all going to class.”
“Yes- wait, Liam?” Jensen blinked, but true to his nature didn’t press the change in baby name. They still had a few more months to cement at least one name.
Parenting class was located in the community college. Unlike the brochure that offered pictures of families ranging in age, it actually had several young parents ranging from high school to early college, all complaining their parents had made them come to show each and every one that it wasn’t a game.
Feeling like the oldest person in the room (even though Jensen had him beat by four years), Jared settled into the furthest seat as his husband shuffled through the lime green book that explained pregnancy.
“This is what our little Liam looks like right now,” Jensen leaned the thin book towards Jared, pointing towards center cartoon image of a nearly developed child on the verge of turning over. The picture made it look huge. And ugly. Jared swallowed. “Ohh,” an interested sound, “anal discharge in carriers as the cervix dilates and prepares for the little bundle. You’ve definitely had that the other night.”
Covering his face, Jared growled. “Shut up, Jen.”
“I’m just reading. Right now Liam has his sex organs, he might even have some hair on his head. I wish we could see that, I wonder where he gets his camera shyness from? Going to the bathroom more, check, overactive sex drive, check, check, and che-ow.”
Pulling his foot back, Jared hissed. “You’re acting like a child.”
“I’m learning, there’s a difference.” Jensen rubbed his shins.
The Parenting Instructor was an older woman who spoke jovially about her own five children. She reassured all the new mothers and fathers that they wouldn’t master it at first and each child was different, but once they knew what to expect, it would all be different. Then she handed out dolls.
Almost immediately his doll started screaming. All he did was cuddle the useless contraption and it began to wail and wail. Rocking it did little, offering food did nothing, and its diaper was dry. “It’s broken!” He seethed at Jensen as the other man watched.
“Let me see.”
“No, I can do this, I have to do this.” He turned away from Jensen. The man went back to listening to the instructor talk with a young family about the changes the carrier’s body was going through and the general disinterest.
On the back of the baby doll was the battery pack. Without thinking about it, Jared opened the pack and the screaming became a loud siren before fading into nothingness.
Suddenly the center of attention, Jared did the only thing he could think of. Pushing the two pieces into his husband’s hands, he cried out, “Jen, what did you do!”
He hadn’t been told to sit outside the classroom since he was twelve and kept making farting noises everytime the teacher walked.
Dinner was quiet between the two. The teacher had asked them to bring the doll home. She had asked that Jared practice relaxation techniques before working with the baby, but there was a definite request that Jensen take over. It was all so sickening.
Little Bobby as Jensen called the thing started crying almost immediately and Jensen spent dinner walking around the table pacifying it with soft singing and rocking. Jared scooped potatoes off his husband’s plate and ate them.
“I think he needs a diaper change.”
“Good, go change it.” Jared cut off a piece of Jensen’s steak. Mm.
“Stop eating my food and come help me.” Jensen calmly too his elbow and led him into the living room. In preparation for the baby, Jensen’s office had bought them a changing table. Now the proud owner of two tables, the nicer one had ended up in the corner of their small living room, ready to be used. “Take Bobby.” He pushed the child into Jared’s arms and nudged him over to the changing station. “Lay him down.’
Jared did just that . “Hey, there’s not really going to be - y’know - in there, is there?”
Jensen chuckled. “Pull open the elastic and find out.”
Each step of changing the diaper was worked through. “You’re a natural,” Jared whispered after as Jensen ate dinner. Holding the baby in his arms, Jared couldn’t look the other man in the eye.
“Used to babysit when I was younger.” He closed his hand on Jared. “I’m going to be there, Jared. Just take a deep breath and we’ll get through all the stress together.
Jared took a deep breath.
Rolling into the last week of Month Seven brought Jensen another class. “We haven’t even talked about birth yet, Jay! It’s not like going to the store and saying we want our six pound baby and a side of potatoes salad.” He took Jared’s hand, entering the hospital’s maternity ward.
Jared almost took a step back. Did he really look like that? Putting a self conscious hand on Baby Ethan’s bump, he took a step closer to Jensen as they were instructed to take a seat on the mat. Taking cue from some other parent, Jensen settled the pillow he’d brought on his front and urged Jared to half sit on his lap.
“How many babies?” Asked the red face woman next to him. Jared frowned, taking in his belly versus hers. God, he was so fat. No more steak and potatoes or chips or burritos or…
“Just one,” Jensen smiled. “He’s all his momma, going to be born so big.” He cupped Jared’s belly as he rolled his nose into brunette locks.
“Aw.”
Jared grumbled, looking away. When he no longer felt the stare of other’s eyes, he slapped Jensen’s hand. “You don’t need to go all lovely on me. An once this stupid lesson is done, I want ice cream. Not frozen yogurt, real ice cream. Whole milk.”
“Of course, love.” Jensen rocked him.
Three months ago the rocking would have made him nauseous. These days, it made the baby settle down and Jared feel oh so good. Closing his hand over Jensen’s, he closed his eyes.
“Mothers and daddys! Welcome! Why don’t we go around introduce ourselves, tell me about your little one.”
Jensen always spoke for Jared at these events. It wasn’t their usual act (usually getting Jensen to talk was like pulling teeth), but the pregnant man enjoyed the rich voice. “I’m Jensen, this is Jared. We’re having our first son - no name set in stone yet. We’ll know when it happens. Er, the best thing we’ve been enjoying about pregnancy is… definitely afternoons. Jared’s tuckered out and he baby is sleeping so it’s like when we first met all over again.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jared grunted. “I like baths. Nothing hurts and Jensen’s on the other side of the door.”
“Ignore him, he’s kind of testy before three, it’s when his cravings are at a peak, but the doctor asked him to limit how many calories he’s eating. Not good for the ankles.” Another squeeze and the next woman started talking.
Jared so did not pinch his husband, if anyone wants to know. It was probably a bee sting.
Halfway through the lesson, while meditating about the taste of a double cheeseburger he noticed the pillow kept raising and sinking. It had been a nice massage, but the pace was too similar to the breathing technique the birthing instructor was demonstrating. Cracking open an eye, Jared tilted his head back.
Jensen’s eyes were closed and he was practicing his breathing technique.
“You know,” Jared grumbled, “You look constipated like that.”
“Hush, Jay. At least try to learn this stuff, you’re going to need it.”
“With you sponging all the information, I think I’m good.” Jared laid back to go back to his dreams about cheeseburgers.
A month and a half later, Jensen was at it again. Feeling huge and just tired, Jared couldn’t find a sarcastic bone in his body as he was dragged out of his nice warm bed and driven back to the hospital for another class. Maybe, he breathed, Jensen felt he would take another Lamaze class serious now that they were coming up on the big day?
Fat chance, he snorted. These days he wasn’t anxious about the day he’d find Jensen gone, he anticipated it. Oh how quiet the house would be. No more ‘Jared! Jared! Right now, the baby’s head is right here and your cervix is thickened up to provide support. Have you began expelling the anal plug yet? Why aren’t you looking? No, I’m not telling you to play in your poop, just look. It should be kind of pale and slimy-‘
The bedroom door just wasn’t thick enough.
“There they are! I wasn’t sure if you two would make it,” The nurse smiled at them upon entering the matted classroom that had been used for birthing lessons. “Take a baby-“ ugh, not another one of those robotic trolls - “And find a place to sit. Daddy’s make your carrier as comfortable as possible!”
Jensen settled on the floor. He offered a hand to Jared, but instead Jared went to the side of the room and dragged an actual chair over. There was no way in hell he was sitting on the floor. He wasn’t going to ask Jensen to help get up.
“Breast feeding!” The nurse threw her hands in the air.
“I’m using formula. Come on, Jensen, maybe I can still make it for my show’s conclusion.” He stood back up.
“Jay! Jay, wait!” Jensen climbed off his ass, found his center of balance and started towards Jared. Almost out the door, the taller man grunted as his elbow was grabbed. “Please, don’t go, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where we were going, I just thought it would be another good class to take.”
“You’re nuts, Jen. Learning nuts!” Jared carded his hands through his hair. “All I want to do is be at home, feet up, and watching Ghost Tales from Beyond the Grave. I don’t have long before my days are going to be filled with our son, whose voice box I can’t remove!”
“Jay, I did all this so we could be together!”
“We can be together at home! Why are you really doing this, Jen?”
Jensen’s shoulders sagged. With a heavy exhale, he looked away. “I just, I thought it would help.”
“Help? Jen, both are parents told us that these classes are nice, but it’s nothing like the real thing. We’ll learn as we go and your parents are coming up to help us.” He took a deep breath. Oh boy, James did not like that. He rubbed his belly for the nth time that day. If he didn’t now better, the child was purposely punching his kidneys to tell both parents to be quiet.
“I know that, I just wanted to experience it all with you. You’re always complaining that I’ll never understand and you’re right, I’m not a carrier so I can’t take the discomforts from you. I can at least try though.”
Jared frowned. “What? You’re doing this…for you?”
Cheeks pink, Jensen scrunched his nose. “I just wanted to get a full understanding of what your body was going through.”
Gah, why was his face burning? Stupid hormones. Jared stepped close. What a sight, he decided as he wrapped his arms around Jensen. Pregnant or not, he still engulfed little Jensen. “I’m sorry for being a jerk about all this.”
“Can we stay?” Jensen asked.
“Promise me you don’t expect me to breast feed.”
“Of course not!”
“I supposed then.” Jared tilted his head back. “Go on, enjoy your make believe pregnancy. I’m going to go sit in a chair in the corner and try not to puke.”
“You got to sit with me, Jay.” Jensen tucked their hands together.
“Do I have to? You embarrass me.”
“Yes.”
“…Can I take pictures of you trying to feed a pretend baby?”
“Of course.”
“Then fine.” Jared started back into the open space. Lucky for him, the nurse had been professional and encouraged everyone to continue the lesson rather than watch the spectacle occurring on the other side of the room. “It’s a good thing you’ve been really into all this.”
“Why?” Jensen asked as he helped Jared to the floor.
Rubbing his belly again, Jared chuckled nervously. “Because I just realized I’m pregnant and me and the baby have no idea what to do.”