Long time, no ______...
Haven't written anything in a while...but I guess since I'm becoming reacquainted with several different previous facets of my life, why not add LJ back into the mix? I mean, seriously, old friends, the Rich Weirdoes, driving aimlessly around Orlando, staying out late, going to clubs...all things I've experienced recently that my previous college life didn't really allow me to do. But I'm pretty happy for it. I like all of the people I've reconnected with, the new friends I'm making and all of the activities that I am taking up once more.
I joined Overeaters Anonymous recently and I think it's really going to help me stop eating so compulsively. But I also realized this past weekend (while doing a bit of compulsive shopping) that if I am going to stop eating compulsively, then I probably need to stop all of the other compulsive activities in my life...the main ones are eating and shopping, but I really also need to reign in my shopping because I can't exactly afford it. So that's what I'm dealing with right now. Everyone at OA that I've met so far is really really nice and they all want to help and they all want me to call them and set up a food plan and they want to help me get my life in order...that's all wonderful and such, but I'm tarrying, and I don't really know why. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, not that I don't want to stop my compulsivities, not that I don't want to get my life in order, it's just that I'm lazy? Or that I have some sort of a deep-seeded fear of change...which could be true. I don't know. This is the idea that I am exploring at the moment. It's all psychological, truly it is. I mean, it's true that I have items on my desk that have been sitting here since I was 12 years old, and this desk itself, I've had since I was 12 or so. On another point entirely, everything on my desk is covered in dust! So I guess that further proves the point of laziness. But it's weird. I don't think I'm lazy, rather I'm just apathetic and ambivalent about certain facets of my life...at the same time though, I HATE staying inside all day...but whenever I ask my mom if she wants to go 'do something', I typically am thinking about shopping, which leads me right back to the whole compulsive shopping thing. Dead end cycle. Hmmm. But yeah, that's that. More ruminating still to be done on that one.
I have, however, recently cleaned up my room and put all of the boxes from my college apartment in my little storage room. I also moved around my room, like put a couch where the bed was, and then the bed where the piano was, and then the piano where my blue comfy chair was. The blue comfy chair, subsequently, has been moved to the balcony, where it provides a bit of comfy furniture. But overall, the room looks great. It's a lot more inviting now and it has a lot more room for entertaining if I decide to have people over or whatnot. I also put some attractive pictures on the walls (a collage my dad did of pictures of me over the years and a photo mosaic of me in front of the Eiffel tower)...I also put up a small mirror shaped like a star, a bigger gold gilded mirror that I got from Barron a few years ago and the decoupaged canvases that Loren made for me for my birthday a few years ago. I hung the canvases diagonal to one another, but they're off-center of the wall, so Tiffy and I are going to make a third one to add to the set...it's sheet music decoupaged on the canvases and we've got Beethoven and Haydn so far, so we figure Mozart will add nicely to the collection. The whole point of this 'I cleaned up my room and put it in order' story is that I think it speaks well to me 'fixing' my life and trying to cure myself of these compulsive habits.
I know I'm crazy, but the other night I was at Pulse for karaoke night and I ran into Kerry, and we hadn't seen each other in forever, and I remember in our 'catching up' banter, he asked me who I've been hanging out with, and I said, well, no one really. And it's funny, cause it's true. I mean, I hang out with Tiffy all the time, and I love me some Tiffy and I am so appreciative of our friendship and the wonderful times we have being 5 year olds together, and about once a week I get to Robbie, which is awesome too, cause he's my oldest friend and they say that oldest friends are the best (and they really are...) but other than Tiffy and Robbie, I don't really hang out with anyone...just me! And that's okay I guess, but I love people and I love friendships and I wish I had more people to hang out with. And I wonder if some of this not hanging out with a lot of people has to do with my laziness and not wanting to leave the house, which is crazy cause I stated above that I really kind of hate being in my house all day long. So there's a puzzle to figure out. I don't really get that one. Oh well, more mysteries!
But I've recently gotten back with the Rich Weirdoes and last weekend they premiered Little Shop, which was really great and a total blast and a breath of fresh air from Rocky (which I know every one gets sick of now and then)...but I have to say, thank God for the Rich Weirdoes and BriPie and Ada and Stravid and Logan and Kevie and Louie and the people I used to hang out with so long ago. It is so wonderful to come back to a place and know that certain things really haven't changed. Thanks my loves!
Anywho, I still devour books and I broke into a new one yesterday and it's great so far...Little Children by Tom Perrotta...apparently, they made a movie out of it, which as soon as I finish the book, I must see. I read the Chronicles of Narnia two weeks ago and it was utterly fantastic. I cried and I can't believe I hadn't read it before.
Oh yeah, funny to mention, I graduated from Stetson. I have a degree in Communications, which is weird, cause I don't know that I'll ever use it. But I also have plans in two years to go and get my MM (Masters of Music) in Opera, which should be absolutely glorious cause then I can be a real working singer...hopefully. I don't want to get ahead of myself. But for the next year, I'll be taking one class at Stetson, working at 9 to 5 job (hopefully a secretary or something) and working at building my resume (hopefully by doing chorus for Orlando Opera and doing operettas at the Sands Theatre) before it's time to apply to grad school, which will probably be at U of Maryland or SUNY Binghamton...but we'll see.
One step at a time, right?
=o)
I joined Overeaters Anonymous recently and I think it's really going to help me stop eating so compulsively. But I also realized this past weekend (while doing a bit of compulsive shopping) that if I am going to stop eating compulsively, then I probably need to stop all of the other compulsive activities in my life...the main ones are eating and shopping, but I really also need to reign in my shopping because I can't exactly afford it. So that's what I'm dealing with right now. Everyone at OA that I've met so far is really really nice and they all want to help and they all want me to call them and set up a food plan and they want to help me get my life in order...that's all wonderful and such, but I'm tarrying, and I don't really know why. It's not that I don't want to lose weight, not that I don't want to stop my compulsivities, not that I don't want to get my life in order, it's just that I'm lazy? Or that I have some sort of a deep-seeded fear of change...which could be true. I don't know. This is the idea that I am exploring at the moment. It's all psychological, truly it is. I mean, it's true that I have items on my desk that have been sitting here since I was 12 years old, and this desk itself, I've had since I was 12 or so. On another point entirely, everything on my desk is covered in dust! So I guess that further proves the point of laziness. But it's weird. I don't think I'm lazy, rather I'm just apathetic and ambivalent about certain facets of my life...at the same time though, I HATE staying inside all day...but whenever I ask my mom if she wants to go 'do something', I typically am thinking about shopping, which leads me right back to the whole compulsive shopping thing. Dead end cycle. Hmmm. But yeah, that's that. More ruminating still to be done on that one.
I have, however, recently cleaned up my room and put all of the boxes from my college apartment in my little storage room. I also moved around my room, like put a couch where the bed was, and then the bed where the piano was, and then the piano where my blue comfy chair was. The blue comfy chair, subsequently, has been moved to the balcony, where it provides a bit of comfy furniture. But overall, the room looks great. It's a lot more inviting now and it has a lot more room for entertaining if I decide to have people over or whatnot. I also put some attractive pictures on the walls (a collage my dad did of pictures of me over the years and a photo mosaic of me in front of the Eiffel tower)...I also put up a small mirror shaped like a star, a bigger gold gilded mirror that I got from Barron a few years ago and the decoupaged canvases that Loren made for me for my birthday a few years ago. I hung the canvases diagonal to one another, but they're off-center of the wall, so Tiffy and I are going to make a third one to add to the set...it's sheet music decoupaged on the canvases and we've got Beethoven and Haydn so far, so we figure Mozart will add nicely to the collection. The whole point of this 'I cleaned up my room and put it in order' story is that I think it speaks well to me 'fixing' my life and trying to cure myself of these compulsive habits.
I know I'm crazy, but the other night I was at Pulse for karaoke night and I ran into Kerry, and we hadn't seen each other in forever, and I remember in our 'catching up' banter, he asked me who I've been hanging out with, and I said, well, no one really. And it's funny, cause it's true. I mean, I hang out with Tiffy all the time, and I love me some Tiffy and I am so appreciative of our friendship and the wonderful times we have being 5 year olds together, and about once a week I get to Robbie, which is awesome too, cause he's my oldest friend and they say that oldest friends are the best (and they really are...) but other than Tiffy and Robbie, I don't really hang out with anyone...just me! And that's okay I guess, but I love people and I love friendships and I wish I had more people to hang out with. And I wonder if some of this not hanging out with a lot of people has to do with my laziness and not wanting to leave the house, which is crazy cause I stated above that I really kind of hate being in my house all day long. So there's a puzzle to figure out. I don't really get that one. Oh well, more mysteries!
But I've recently gotten back with the Rich Weirdoes and last weekend they premiered Little Shop, which was really great and a total blast and a breath of fresh air from Rocky (which I know every one gets sick of now and then)...but I have to say, thank God for the Rich Weirdoes and BriPie and Ada and Stravid and Logan and Kevie and Louie and the people I used to hang out with so long ago. It is so wonderful to come back to a place and know that certain things really haven't changed. Thanks my loves!
Anywho, I still devour books and I broke into a new one yesterday and it's great so far...Little Children by Tom Perrotta...apparently, they made a movie out of it, which as soon as I finish the book, I must see. I read the Chronicles of Narnia two weeks ago and it was utterly fantastic. I cried and I can't believe I hadn't read it before.
Oh yeah, funny to mention, I graduated from Stetson. I have a degree in Communications, which is weird, cause I don't know that I'll ever use it. But I also have plans in two years to go and get my MM (Masters of Music) in Opera, which should be absolutely glorious cause then I can be a real working singer...hopefully. I don't want to get ahead of myself. But for the next year, I'll be taking one class at Stetson, working at 9 to 5 job (hopefully a secretary or something) and working at building my resume (hopefully by doing chorus for Orlando Opera and doing operettas at the Sands Theatre) before it's time to apply to grad school, which will probably be at U of Maryland or SUNY Binghamton...but we'll see.
One step at a time, right?
=o)