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Jan 06, 2014 00:50

Title: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
Pairing: Reita/Ruki
Rating: PG (for now)
Genre: AU, mystery
Summary: A young bishop upon his arrival at the church he is soon to be the head of. He does not yet anticipate that a certain encounter will unfold links between people's pasts before him, the truth, and maybe even a salvation for his own restless soul.

A/N:
Please note that this is really, really, really AU. The universe this is playing in resembles our world but is not. (Continent divided into Northern, Southern, and Midlands, p.e.)
Yes, some things will probably seem illogical (Ruki's fast climb up the bishop career latter for example) but it's still AU, so I can't be bothered.
I hope nobody gets offended by me putting a religion/church as the center stage, I do not attempt to step on anyone's tail here.
Otherwise, have fun reading.
I'm planning to put a lot of work into this (in fact, I already have) and I myself don't yet know how this will turn out. I do have an ending in mind but I will see as to where things unfold from here on.
Comments and critics are very much appreciated.


Forgive me, Father
For I have sinned.

I

- Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path -
Psalm 119:105

“Bishop Michael, I guess? Welcome to our church. You must be tired after your travel, so let me take care of your luggage, please.”
The old man in black greeting the young priest took the single, small suitcase from his hand and indeed carried it for him. It was merely a gesture, for the piece of luggage was far from heavy, but the young man going by the name of Michael (but whose name was actually Matsumoto Takanori) was thankful for it nonetheless. He took the chance to bury his now free hands in the pockets of his plain, black winter coat, and slowly made his way down the neat gravel path behind the sanctuary's walls towards the dorm.
His guide was way older than him, but tall and lean, with white hair which he kept neatly in a long, braided ponytail, and led their way towards the large former storehouse which would be his new home from now on. Their breath painted white clouds into the cold air and once he'd set foot on church grounds, the traffic noise seemed to magically fade away behind the wall of fir trees seaming the fences around the small piece of land that belonged to their church.
It was a freezing cold morning after an equally cold and dark night and since he had been out most of the night on his travels down by train to this city far in the North of these lands, the prospect of a warm shelter and a cup of tea lifted his spirits quite an inch.

It was a city, not too big but not small enough to call it a town, and it was bustling and humming with so much life, it made him wonder how a Christian church - as a place of modesty and quiet - could survive within all the happy mess around it. Christmas was close and the town folks were busy with its preparations, decorations, and business over food and presents.
For a moment, he was disappointed of how he would be bound to this place for most of his days from now on, preaching, and praying, and singing, and not downtown, enjoying a cup of coffee and some cinnamon cookies and just letting life rush around him and swallow him up in its gleeful vibrations.

“I made a fire in the stove up in your room, so it should be cozy by now.”, his guide picked up their conversation as they crossed a small hall in the very front of the building, before they took a turn to the left and climbed up a flight of ten, twelve stairs to where the bedrooms were located.
Two nuns crossed their way, respectfully greeting both priests, then continued their way to prepare for today's second prayer and the following lunch.
“By the way, my name is Father Clemens. I am sorry I did not properly introduce myself, young bishop, I tend to forget things like that.”
He laughed and Takanori could hear the man's age was marred into the jingle of his laughter, like an old, rusty bell, but it was a nice tune.

“No worries, Father, you are making a pleasant colloquist so far nonetheless.”

“They told me a silver-tongued young man would be coming and they sure weren't wrong.”, the Father laughed again and finally opened one of the many wooden doors down the hallway and gestured for the young priest to step in.
“This is your room for the time being. Once I am out on my travels for the Southern Lands, you will move into the Father's chambers. They're closer to the sanctuary and the office, so leading this ark will be easier for you this way.”
Takanori faced the window and looked out onto the back courtyard beneath his room.
It seemed to be a herbal garden, on the far South side grew what appeared to be vegetables, even though they would be limited to potatoes and cabbage, maybe also turnips, during this season. There was a small marble fountain in the middle of the yard and some nuns were busy picking weeds within the neatly lined beds.

It was a peaceful place, just like every church.
In this day and age, it seemed like most people had already forgotten about religion and belief, leading lives that were far too busy to come to a sanctuary and pray to a God. On contrary, Takanori always felt relief wash over him whenever he stepped onto church grounds. There was quiet, and ease, and everything was so, so slow like the clocks were ticking at a different pace than in the rest of the world.
He still remembered the first time stepping into a Christian church as a child. The height of the cathedral. The way voices echoed in between the cold stone walls, and the way the light shone through the colored glass windows. He remembered being amazed and awestruck by the icon of Jesus on a cross over the altar.
At that time, he still hadn't had a concept of life and death. He had no idea of the bearings life would press on him years later. How he would taste defeat over something, how he would lose everything important to him - of that, he had had no clue.

He had been a student of the modern arts, had abandoned his hometown to come to the capital and study. He had put so many sleepless nights into his work, so much devotion. Just to abandon it all again when his mother suddenly died of a heart disease nobody had noticed until then. When his father started to drink and finally crashed his car into a house and died as well, only half a year after Takanori had returned home, he had nothing left.
He had gone all out and had devoted himself to what he loved most just to have life stabbing his back. He had nowhere left to go, being unable to bear staying in the house he had lived in as a child and teenager. And it had left him desperate, feeling betrayed, feeling numb, and finally hating life.
It was when he had stepped into a Christian church for the second time, twenty years after his first visit.
He had been walking around town aimlessly, almost all of the lights already out due to the late hour, and suddenly found himself in front of the large building, pushing the heavy, wooden doors open.
There had been no sounds from the inside but the quiet crackling sounds of the candles illuminating the empty hall, their flames swaying in the light breeze his entrance had caused.
And he had felt at home.
The perception of safety had led him to the front row of wooden benches, made him sit down, and soon enough he had folded his hands in his lap to talk to what he supposed was a God for the first time in his life, just chanting out hoarse, quiet pleas for things to just stop. For his heart to stop hurting.
He did not have a strange occurrence back then as expected. No heavenly 'sign' and no epiphany of God or whoever was pulling the strings in the game called fate.
He had just let all the worries spill out of his chest and his mouth for the first time in years, had his eyes shed tears for the first time in what had felt like ages. And it had lifted all the weight off his shoulders.

“It will be time for the lunch break soon and I suppose you'd want to unpack a thing or two before eating, so I will leave you to your own devices.”
The mild voice of Father Clemens pulled him out of his memories and back into the present at hand, namely the small bed chamber around him and said guide still standing in the door frame.

“Yes, thank you for showing me around, Father.”
He bowed his head in sincere thanks and waited for the door to fall close before throwing himself onto the small bed in the middle of the room and heaving a soft sigh. The young man closed his eyes for a brief moment, enchanted with the hush around him. His hand reached out for the suitcase next to him and he slowly unlocked it, searching for something without even looking. A second later he already got a hold on the picture frame he had been feeling for and held it in front of his face, eyes squinting because of a ray of light reflecting in the glass shielding the photo behind it. It was a family photo, showing his parents and him, when he had been a mere teenager of fifteen years. It was the only picture he had kept, so he cherished it like a treasure, now sitting up and carefully setting it atop the nightstand, slowly drawing his gaze away from the three smiling faces in the picture.
The bells were starting to ring again, signaling the end of the noon prayer.
He should get down to the cafeteria and have his first lunch with the brothers and nuns, he guessed, even though he would have loved to just nap away throughout the afternoon. However, he hadn't come here for vacation but for work, so he pulled a robe out of his suitcase and dressed up in proper attire before descending back down the stairs and entering the spacious cafeteria.
Lots of eyes settled on him as he bowed for a greeting to everyone.
He ended up in a seat at the head of one of the long tables, right next to Father Clemens, and after a short introduction, everyone attended their lunch in front of them.
Takanori wasn't really used to such a chatty lunchtime as he experienced right here, everyone discussing things or just talking away about random topics while eating - but he was enjoying himself quite a lot at that. This way he got to know some of the nuns and brothers at his first day, and everyone seemed to be not only nice but also very happy to have him in their midst.

“Father told us a lot about you. You come from the Midlands?”, Sister Raphaela asked during their chat, to which he nodded.
“I do. I was a priest for three years back there before I came here and got the promotion to Bishop from his Eminence.”, he added, then finished up his cup of water.
Sharing bits and pieces of personal information about each other, the lunch break was soon over and everybody returned to their destined tasks. Brothers and Sisters sharing the kitchen duties alike while the older nuns picked up fabric works and stitching along the long tables over a cup of tea.

Yes, Takanori found himself in wonderful company at this church.

Back up in his room, he took the time to unpack his suitcase and store it atop the small closet provided for his clothing. There wasn't much more interior except for the small secretary next to the large window. He opened the drawer and put his notes, his diary, and some more papers into it before opening the window to let some fresh air in. It was freezing cold still, but the sun was still high up the sky, hiding behind thick layers of white clouds, and made the young blonde wonder whether it would snow soon.
Taking a deep breath he turned away and grabbed his coat, slipped into it, and left his room to stretch his legs outside. He decided to take a walk through the gardens he could see from behind that window he had just opened, and to find a secret spot to indulge his not-so-proper habit of smoking. He was not a saint, he thought to himself, so why not let lose with something harmless like that once in a while...
Once he'd crossed the now empty courtyard and rounded half of the spacious dorm house, he found a small grove of naked willows enshrouding a small bench in their midst. Jumping over a small puddle, he finally reached said bench and plopped down before pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his inner pocket, and not a second later white smoke curled its way up into the equally white sky.

A while after he had finished the cigarette, a cold gust of wind made him grip both sides of his collar with one hand to pull the hems together. It was time to go...
Stuffing his pocket ashtray back into the hidings of his coat he walked back to the front of the dorm and entered without anybody really noticing. The cafeteria was still bustling with people and only when he realized that he did not know where to find the Father's office, he entered said room to ask one of the Sisters for directions.
The Father had been right - the office was indeed closer to everything than the room Takanori occupied right now and upon stepping into said office after a polite knock and the permission to enter, he could see the Father's bed chamber was right behind the spacious room.

“Ah, Michael, what can I do for you?”, the man asked and offered him a seat in front of the large oak desk he was currently working on, documents piling at both sides.

“I was wondering whether you'd want to check on tonight's preach. I have the notes with me.”
The blonde plopped down into the comfy armchair and crossed his legs underneath his robe. His coat was hanging at the back of his own door, upstairs in his bedroom from where he'd fetched his notes before paying the Father a visit.

“No, I think you'll be okay. I know you've preached back at Saint Meridian for the past year, so I do not doubt your skills and delicacy concerning your topic of preach.”

“You flatter me...”, was the humble response and the young priest smiled, “Alright, then I shall go over it for a last time before evening mass. Thank you for your time.”

“You're welcome anytime.”

A few hours later, the church hall was filling with people for the evening mass.
Since it was his first day as an official to this ark, Takanori had the privilege of delivering the preach. He was currently seated to the side of the altar, waiting for Father Clemens to step up just like the people in the room.
The mass started, the town folks attending praying and singing songs to praise the Lord. It had become routine to the young bishop at some point. He knew the way things worked from there because it didn't appear often that churches differed in the way their masses were held.
Soon enough his turn came and he stepped up in front of the altar, without his notes, to start the preach.

“Good evening, dear parishioners.
Some of you probably already got word of me during the past weeks but please allow me to introduce myself again: I am Bishop Michael from the Midlands and from the coming week on I will be the head priest of this ark, for Father Clemens will be on a journey to the Southern Lands.
Now the one who took one of the longest journeys in history would be Moses but I am happy to reassure you that our dear Father won't need to split the Red Sea in order to reach his destination. Nor is it likely that his travels will take forty years...”

He smiled a cheeky grin and mild laughter erupted from the small crowd in front of him, as well as from the mentioned bishop to his right.

“However, as every man on this Earth, we should never forget that dangers come in countless forms and demons with countless faces, especially when one is out of their usual environments.”

The church returned to silence and the young priest let his gaze wander through the crowd, only to be captivated by a pair of eyes. They were hard and unmoved, and almost dead. Takanori shivered for a split second, had to break eye-contact, and resumed his speech.

“Those who wander around should look out for themselves.
They shall not go hungry, for the demons will lure them with the utmost delicious smells. They will show them images of rich fruit, of spicy dishes, and the freshest bread.

They shall not go tired, for the demons will sing them the sweetest lullabies and promise them comfort in their greedy arms.

And they shall not go thirsty, for the demons will lure them on a path promised to lead them to an oasis, while only a desert and death will await them.

Lambs of our Lord, only in His arms you shall seek all your body and soul require, for He will embrace you and give you rest.
He shall fill the tables of those who choose to walk on righteous paths. He shall fill their glasses and bless their sleep with the sweetest of dreams.

He who is our Lord and Savior will be the guiding light to lead our every way through our darkest nights.
So He speaks in Matthew 11:28: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Amen.”

“Amen.”, the crowd resounded and Takanori heaved a silent, relieved breath.

His eyes wandered through the room once more and sought for that pair of eyes he'd seen during his speech but they were averted towards a Bible in the man's lap. His hair was longer, just like Takanori's own, and bleached in a blurred mix of blonde and brown. His skin was pale, or so it looked in the dim light of the church, and once he looked up again and that expressionless stare drilled into his own once more, it was the priest to turn away.
Stepping back to the side to let Father Clemens take the center of the small stage in front of the altar, he welcomed the community to step up front and get their blessing.
When Takanori saw the man he'd been wondering about coming closer, as the very first to get the Father's hand onto his head and a blessing spoken to him, bowing calmly, he had to swallow hard for some reason.
The man's eyes made him uneasy and curious at the same time, and now that he was closer, the young blonde could take in more of his complexion. In the light around the altar, his eyes didn't look as dead anymore, but he could see they were of a pale blue color. His hair was ruffled in a stylish fashion, and his clothes looked like he'd just jumped off his motorbike before coming to mass. He was rather tall, too. Maybe half a head taller than Takanori himself.

A pale, large hand was darted out towards him all of a sudden and he jumped a little in his seat, startled upon realizing it was said male willing to obviously shake his hand.
“Welcome to the church.”
His voice was deep and sent a rush of something down the bishop's spine before he could react and finally take that hand to shake it. “Thank you.”
Unexpectedly, the hand shaking his was warm and the touch was firm but gentle.
He was surprised, to say the least, also when that stout figure turned around without another word and walked off towards the exit.

reitaxruki, fanfiction

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