intifada (the way you right and left it)
i am not a peaceful race.
killed a spider while mostly asleep, thinking at it your instincts really should lead you away from my body heat, i am a far bigger monster than you are. delusions of grandeur in my subconscious? likely.
things have been happening, as they have a tendency to. (trouble back at the home front, had been monitoring distress-calls from former students for a month but things finally came to a head last week and now it's all in the news. suffice it to say that i've been busy and though it's not been the easiest thing, there's always that giddy sense of righteousness. i feel a bit manic, like i'm on antidepressants again except i'm not taking any meds anymore other than minor acid-reducers for the ulcers so it's all just me, as usual.)
while i'm vaguely referring to activism for the sake of jogging my own memories down the line, a blast from the past: affirmative action ban is ruled unconstitutional! i got into this case back in 9th grade and it was the project that sort of took over my life and probably shaped my formative years.
i remember sitting under a tree looking at the White House, tugging at Kennedy's ludicrous attempts at facial hair that still somehow didn't manage to put a dent in my epic crush, (oh how badly i wanted that boy though i knew i would never admit it to any of our mutual friends even if it wasn't a lost cause with his penchant for talking about his flighty ex even with me on his lap making him laugh with stories about ducknapping and our plans to build methlabs at wash u. i wonder what the hell he's up to now. it has been almost ten years. jesus f. christ. oh, and Kate still stalks me though i guess it's more civil now that were "facebook friends" and i know i can keep her copy of the Communist Manifesto) and trying not to think of how it was possible everyone was right and i was an idiot for going to the rally days before the AP tests. how i wanted to say that i was trying to live history, but wasn't sure enough of myself to do anything but shrug stubbornly until i got the results during the summer and the congratulatory postcard from Mrs. Dahl. apparently, i surprised her. who knew i could have ideals and still do well on standardized tests?
these days, i'm never sure i qualify as an activist, but this is where it all began. a couple people from the law school came to speak in my civics class and with my 14 year old naivete i couldn't figure out why everyone else wasn't as indignant and ready to fight as i was. in some ways, nothing's changed--except i've had more time to get lucky and run into people who not only stand with me but lead the charge, inspire me, and help erase my self-doubt.
i still owe Mrs. Dahl a postcard--she made us stamp and address it on the last day of class, but i never wrote on it. i didn't agree with her philosophies but didn't have the words to articulate myself and my priorities. maybe now i do.
killed a spider while mostly asleep, thinking at it your instincts really should lead you away from my body heat, i am a far bigger monster than you are. delusions of grandeur in my subconscious? likely.
things have been happening, as they have a tendency to. (trouble back at the home front, had been monitoring distress-calls from former students for a month but things finally came to a head last week and now it's all in the news. suffice it to say that i've been busy and though it's not been the easiest thing, there's always that giddy sense of righteousness. i feel a bit manic, like i'm on antidepressants again except i'm not taking any meds anymore other than minor acid-reducers for the ulcers so it's all just me, as usual.)
while i'm vaguely referring to activism for the sake of jogging my own memories down the line, a blast from the past: affirmative action ban is ruled unconstitutional! i got into this case back in 9th grade and it was the project that sort of took over my life and probably shaped my formative years.
i remember sitting under a tree looking at the White House, tugging at Kennedy's ludicrous attempts at facial hair that still somehow didn't manage to put a dent in my epic crush, (oh how badly i wanted that boy though i knew i would never admit it to any of our mutual friends even if it wasn't a lost cause with his penchant for talking about his flighty ex even with me on his lap making him laugh with stories about ducknapping and our plans to build methlabs at wash u. i wonder what the hell he's up to now. it has been almost ten years. jesus f. christ. oh, and Kate still stalks me though i guess it's more civil now that were "facebook friends" and i know i can keep her copy of the Communist Manifesto) and trying not to think of how it was possible everyone was right and i was an idiot for going to the rally days before the AP tests. how i wanted to say that i was trying to live history, but wasn't sure enough of myself to do anything but shrug stubbornly until i got the results during the summer and the congratulatory postcard from Mrs. Dahl. apparently, i surprised her. who knew i could have ideals and still do well on standardized tests?
these days, i'm never sure i qualify as an activist, but this is where it all began. a couple people from the law school came to speak in my civics class and with my 14 year old naivete i couldn't figure out why everyone else wasn't as indignant and ready to fight as i was. in some ways, nothing's changed--except i've had more time to get lucky and run into people who not only stand with me but lead the charge, inspire me, and help erase my self-doubt.
i still owe Mrs. Dahl a postcard--she made us stamp and address it on the last day of class, but i never wrote on it. i didn't agree with her philosophies but didn't have the words to articulate myself and my priorities. maybe now i do.