Avoiding sleep
I have spent the last three hours redesigning and fine-tuning my journal because I do not want to sleep. I have been having anxiety attacks on and off all day and I have been fighting dissociating by binge eating or trying to keep my mind and hands busy by using the internet. (I'm going to regret and feel guilty about the binge eating tomorrow, I just know it. I usually do).
I have been reading other people's blogs about their past traumatic experiences and it has been triggering for me. I don't want it to be triggering - I want to read other people's experience with abuse and how they they have survived (or are surviving) it because I want to know that I am not alone in my pain, yet it triggers such intense emotions and flashbacks.
Reading about a lot of shit has probably upset me and made me hate the world more than ever, but on the other hand I am glad that more people are speaking up about their past and trying to raise awareness about the subject of abuse.
But it very trying on the psyche and the soul.
I have been reading other people's blogs about their past traumatic experiences and it has been triggering for me. I don't want it to be triggering - I want to read other people's experience with abuse and how they they have survived (or are surviving) it because I want to know that I am not alone in my pain, yet it triggers such intense emotions and flashbacks.
Reading about a lot of shit has probably upset me and made me hate the world more than ever, but on the other hand I am glad that more people are speaking up about their past and trying to raise awareness about the subject of abuse.
But it very trying on the psyche and the soul.