help me
I need to get out of this house, away from my mom.
If she's going to see Domingo for money.
Then I will only stay here for money.
It sucks to live with a mother who you were raised to think you cannot trust them for any emotional support because of what they've done.
I feel so lonely in this house just like how my mom and grandma feel lonely. Their goals in life have been disoriented by their financial and family problems. Their goals are nothing but materialistic. None of them are rich which frustrate the shit out of them. They seemed to have not yet grasped that idea of living a good life comes from sharing it with someone, a family member, a friend, a partner, anyone. Because I don't think they ever liked raising children because of how much worked they felt they needed to exert into them.
I need to remind you that Philippines is a sexist motherfucker. Women are bounded to their gender roles. My mom never exerted any effort to build a career after college, but rather chose to build a family. She relied on the husband to be the bread winner. So she left him.
The same thing happened to my granda, only her husband died and she had to support her six children all by herself. Two of them seemed to be the only one who would support my grandma today as a return of her parenting, and because she was old and retired. And the rest, they seemed to act like selfish, self-centered bastards. One of them I actually hate. Well, two of them.
If they could make their lives better, I'm sure they wished they had the money to raise their children and live in a better environment that was higher than their socioeconomic levels.
If I could make their lives better, I wished they thought highly of themselves first by building a career, or at least some savings, so then they could provide a better environment for themselves and their children.
Now my mom is by herself again after kicking Domingo out. She kicked him out after 2 years he first made an advance to me. But the second one advance, I am hoping, actually made her realize she cannot be with him. It's unclear because I just found out that Domingo's number is saved under the name of "Dona" in her phone, that they would sometimes meet after work, that this is the reason why my mom would get home at 7:30 pm when her shift would start at 10:00 am, that my legal stepdad is part of our family phone plan.
I can't tell whether she's seeing him for solely for financial support. I just wonder how she reason herself to him. Is it because of me or her?
I CANNOT TURN OUT like my mother and my grandmother.
Now I just need that emotional support to motivate me to move forward.
My relationship with my mother hasn't been any good. I would still give her my cold shoulder, as she would... well what has she been doing? I don't know. But I have been avoidant of them lately. I don't spend any time with them at all. I don't like their materialistic ways, opinions, goals or anything that's driven by how poor they think they are.
I think now that my mom kicked out my Domingo would be an easy access to get a long with her daughter. It does not work that fucking way.
If she's going to see Domingo for money.
Then I will only stay here for money.
It sucks to live with a mother who you were raised to think you cannot trust them for any emotional support because of what they've done.
I feel so lonely in this house just like how my mom and grandma feel lonely. Their goals in life have been disoriented by their financial and family problems. Their goals are nothing but materialistic. None of them are rich which frustrate the shit out of them. They seemed to have not yet grasped that idea of living a good life comes from sharing it with someone, a family member, a friend, a partner, anyone. Because I don't think they ever liked raising children because of how much worked they felt they needed to exert into them.
I need to remind you that Philippines is a sexist motherfucker. Women are bounded to their gender roles. My mom never exerted any effort to build a career after college, but rather chose to build a family. She relied on the husband to be the bread winner. So she left him.
The same thing happened to my granda, only her husband died and she had to support her six children all by herself. Two of them seemed to be the only one who would support my grandma today as a return of her parenting, and because she was old and retired. And the rest, they seemed to act like selfish, self-centered bastards. One of them I actually hate. Well, two of them.
If they could make their lives better, I'm sure they wished they had the money to raise their children and live in a better environment that was higher than their socioeconomic levels.
If I could make their lives better, I wished they thought highly of themselves first by building a career, or at least some savings, so then they could provide a better environment for themselves and their children.
Now my mom is by herself again after kicking Domingo out. She kicked him out after 2 years he first made an advance to me. But the second one advance, I am hoping, actually made her realize she cannot be with him. It's unclear because I just found out that Domingo's number is saved under the name of "Dona" in her phone, that they would sometimes meet after work, that this is the reason why my mom would get home at 7:30 pm when her shift would start at 10:00 am, that my legal stepdad is part of our family phone plan.
I can't tell whether she's seeing him for solely for financial support. I just wonder how she reason herself to him. Is it because of me or her?
I CANNOT TURN OUT like my mother and my grandmother.
Now I just need that emotional support to motivate me to move forward.
My relationship with my mother hasn't been any good. I would still give her my cold shoulder, as she would... well what has she been doing? I don't know. But I have been avoidant of them lately. I don't spend any time with them at all. I don't like their materialistic ways, opinions, goals or anything that's driven by how poor they think they are.
I think now that my mom kicked out my Domingo would be an easy access to get a long with her daughter. It does not work that fucking way.