(no subject)
Today, I went to a Belton High School summer cross country practice. I actually didn't show up for the whole thing, I just came to help them organize the bake sale/car wash they'll be holding while I'm gone, drop off some helpful papers, and bring them popsicles, since it is Friday. I remember organizing our first bake sale/car wash. I remember my first horrible day of practice, when we ran five miles and twice over the overpass by the high school. I remember winning medals. I remember not winning medals. Mostly, I just remember how much like a family it all was. The other runners greeted me today happily and warmly, and it felt like coming home. One person who knew I was coming actually brought his yearbook to make sure I signed it. Next year, when the juniors are gone, it will be less like that, and so on, until there is no one around who remembers the first ever captain who wasn't good enough to actually run varsity. I'm really glad I ran, even though it prevented me from doing many other things. It built me into the person I am, taught me about the shifting nature of failure, and also that I don't always have to be the best to be accepted. I'm happy that as a captain, I'm remembered for giving people rides home, being positive, and holding people to a high level of personal accountability, not simply berating them for running poorly, or losing the meet for our team. I like to think I made the team a softer, more welcoming place, at least for the four years I was there. Even if I didn't, the team made me a softer person, more patient and willing to step out and be with people who aren't my "intellectual equal." Basically, it kicked the snot (both literally and figuratively) out of me, and I'm better for it. I am grateful for the pain, the endless hours, the sprints with weights and parachutes strapped to our backs, the ab work, the weight room, the leg circuits, the intervals, the farklets, the swim practices, the Christmas parties, the banquets, the overnight trips and all the memories, and I am truly sad it is all over.