here we are alone again
I am listening to Blue, and my week is pretty much over. I still have two classes, but I have already done all the reading that I need to. I still have a full day of work, but it’s all good. I’ll bring something to read for class on Tuesday, and feign myself ahead. I think that made sense.
I am very much looking forward to the March, despite the College Station contingency politics. I am just not going to let them (people who hate me) ruin my trip. I deserve to be there, and even though I really want to say that they don’t-they don’t. They don’t really know what they are standing up for. Although, I don’t know the choices, and decisions that they have been faced with in their life, I assume that they haven’t been the same ones that I have been faced with. I am not saying that I deserve to be there more, but they can’t take that right away from me-mainly because they want to be immature and mean about it. Blah. I am not letting it get to me. Mabel sent me a concerned email earlier, I don’t think that we should worry about it. They will only do what they do to get us angry and reactionary. If we refuse to react-their plans are foiled.
I was thinking out a beautiful theory on how conservativism and education at Texas A&M are linked. Since it has been proven that when people are more educated they tend to have more liberal political alignment, I want to apply this to Texas A&M, where a lot of people politically identify as conservative or Republican or evil. People who go to Texas A&M do so to get an education. They allegedly become more educated as they spend time here, and would be more likely to become more liberal, but they don’t. Does it mean that Aggies are less educated? Stupid perhaps? Or just that they can’t comprehend the upper level thinking of the “liberal agenda”?
Questions, I pose.
And for some reason, I think that I just stopped making sense a few paragraphs ago. I need to eat more, and I need to have more time. I don’t have enough time to cook, and I don’t have enough money to eat out, even fast food. Although, I might cash in my Subway card to get a 6in later tonight.
I feel slightly dizzy, and that can’t be good.
Mistakenly, I think that there is something in the gum that I am chewing that is making me very frantic.
This cannot be good.
I am looking forward to seeing Maya Angelou and Mimi tomorrow. Yay. Mimi will finally get to meet Evan. This is very important to me. I know that she’ll love him, because she already knows that he’s great for me, and good to me. Well, actually, I don’t think that she knows that, but she’ll realize it. I just know that-everyone who meets him tells me that. She just means a lot because she’s been around for a lot, and she’s a beautiful person, who knows me very very well.
Evan and I had an interesting evening last night. Our early evening endevor has left my hips sore and feeling weird in ways that I have not felt before-although I am not sure that it was the encounter, it could have been yoga.
We ended up not getting dinner, like we should have. And just being each other. He called some other girl cute, in relating a story to me about how his job only hires attractive/pretty girls to work the register. This freaked me out. He calls me cute. And I keep on wanting him to call me pretty or attractive. And he doesn’t. or beautiful (but I think that’s another entry waiting to happen). I have self image issues. I felt that I wasn’t adding up. I don’t feel like I am good enough. I feel like there are so many better women, and he should have someone, taller, lighter, beautifuller, prettier, smarter, funnier-and it’s just that I am not good enough. I don’t think I am telling him this correctly. Or maybe I am just over reacting, and he’s being reasonable, and I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s not justified. I don’t know. I am not annoyed, but perturbed.
I need to go. I am getting to personal.
The personal is political. And politics invade my life from time to time.
I am very much looking forward to the March, despite the College Station contingency politics. I am just not going to let them (people who hate me) ruin my trip. I deserve to be there, and even though I really want to say that they don’t-they don’t. They don’t really know what they are standing up for. Although, I don’t know the choices, and decisions that they have been faced with in their life, I assume that they haven’t been the same ones that I have been faced with. I am not saying that I deserve to be there more, but they can’t take that right away from me-mainly because they want to be immature and mean about it. Blah. I am not letting it get to me. Mabel sent me a concerned email earlier, I don’t think that we should worry about it. They will only do what they do to get us angry and reactionary. If we refuse to react-their plans are foiled.
I was thinking out a beautiful theory on how conservativism and education at Texas A&M are linked. Since it has been proven that when people are more educated they tend to have more liberal political alignment, I want to apply this to Texas A&M, where a lot of people politically identify as conservative or Republican or evil. People who go to Texas A&M do so to get an education. They allegedly become more educated as they spend time here, and would be more likely to become more liberal, but they don’t. Does it mean that Aggies are less educated? Stupid perhaps? Or just that they can’t comprehend the upper level thinking of the “liberal agenda”?
Questions, I pose.
And for some reason, I think that I just stopped making sense a few paragraphs ago. I need to eat more, and I need to have more time. I don’t have enough time to cook, and I don’t have enough money to eat out, even fast food. Although, I might cash in my Subway card to get a 6in later tonight.
I feel slightly dizzy, and that can’t be good.
Mistakenly, I think that there is something in the gum that I am chewing that is making me very frantic.
This cannot be good.
I am looking forward to seeing Maya Angelou and Mimi tomorrow. Yay. Mimi will finally get to meet Evan. This is very important to me. I know that she’ll love him, because she already knows that he’s great for me, and good to me. Well, actually, I don’t think that she knows that, but she’ll realize it. I just know that-everyone who meets him tells me that. She just means a lot because she’s been around for a lot, and she’s a beautiful person, who knows me very very well.
Evan and I had an interesting evening last night. Our early evening endevor has left my hips sore and feeling weird in ways that I have not felt before-although I am not sure that it was the encounter, it could have been yoga.
We ended up not getting dinner, like we should have. And just being each other. He called some other girl cute, in relating a story to me about how his job only hires attractive/pretty girls to work the register. This freaked me out. He calls me cute. And I keep on wanting him to call me pretty or attractive. And he doesn’t. or beautiful (but I think that’s another entry waiting to happen). I have self image issues. I felt that I wasn’t adding up. I don’t feel like I am good enough. I feel like there are so many better women, and he should have someone, taller, lighter, beautifuller, prettier, smarter, funnier-and it’s just that I am not good enough. I don’t think I am telling him this correctly. Or maybe I am just over reacting, and he’s being reasonable, and I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s not justified. I don’t know. I am not annoyed, but perturbed.
I need to go. I am getting to personal.
The personal is political. And politics invade my life from time to time.