Battlestar Galactica - Inner Damnation
Title: Inner Damnation
Prompt: #24 - I Want You To Hate Me
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Saul/Ellen
Summary: So they’d played their cards and she’d lost the game.
A/N: Takes place a long time before the events of the Mini-Series.
--
Moonlight parted the darkness, settling across the room and bathing the only occupant in its sombre glow. She lay on her side, staring into nothing. It had only been a few hours. Sleep wouldn’t come, the silence deafening in the dark room. Thoughts escaped her, her mind completely blank. She lived and breathed, yet she was lifeless. She was broken and soulless, yet her heart continued to beat. Blood continued to pump throughout her body, the very core of life pulsating within her. Yet she remained motionless. From Emergency she’d been taken to a private room, where a nurse bathed her and put her to bed. Her dark eyes never searched, just stared ahead. In the darkness she saw images she couldn’t recognise.
Somewhere in the back of her mind he appeared, bringing forth an array of questions. All her details had been in her handbag. She wondered whether they’d talked to him, whether he was on his way. Maybe he’d let her waste away on her own. The Gods knew she didn’t deserve the love he held for her. So they’d played their cards and she’d lost the game. That was all it had been to her, a game. Endless parties and one night stands, even after she’d married him. Everything the Gods threw at her, she deserved. No matter how hard she tried to change, something would go wrong and she was back in the hell she’d started in. She deserved everything she got for her sins.
Light flooded the room, his shadow reflecting on the wall in front of her. Under the pillow her hands clenched. For a moment she stopped breathing, fear washing over her. He had every right to turn and walk away, leave her to suffer in damnation. She began to breathe again, closing her eyes to block out the vision of him turning away as she knew he should. The darkness invaded her mind. All she could do was remember to breathe. On the one hand she wouldn’t mind just stopping, but on the other hand she fears it. But it does stop, when she feels his fingers brushing though her hair. Her muscles tense, and she feels him lay next to her on the small hospital bed. He presses a kiss against the back of her neck and pulls her into his arms.
At first she considers pushing him away. After leading herself to believe he wouldn’t run to her side, he’d arrived. Still wearing his uniform and smelling like the inside of a Raptor. She tells herself that she won’t react. The last thing she wants to do is become a crying wreck in his arms. They weren’t weak people, and one little accident wasn’t going to change that. Yet through the blanket she felt his hand rest against her stomach, and she realised she couldn’t hold back any longer. She turned in his arms, stifling tears against his chest.
She didn’t deserve to have him with her.
Prompt: #24 - I Want You To Hate Me
Rating: Teen
Pairing: Saul/Ellen
Summary: So they’d played their cards and she’d lost the game.
A/N: Takes place a long time before the events of the Mini-Series.
--
Moonlight parted the darkness, settling across the room and bathing the only occupant in its sombre glow. She lay on her side, staring into nothing. It had only been a few hours. Sleep wouldn’t come, the silence deafening in the dark room. Thoughts escaped her, her mind completely blank. She lived and breathed, yet she was lifeless. She was broken and soulless, yet her heart continued to beat. Blood continued to pump throughout her body, the very core of life pulsating within her. Yet she remained motionless. From Emergency she’d been taken to a private room, where a nurse bathed her and put her to bed. Her dark eyes never searched, just stared ahead. In the darkness she saw images she couldn’t recognise.
Somewhere in the back of her mind he appeared, bringing forth an array of questions. All her details had been in her handbag. She wondered whether they’d talked to him, whether he was on his way. Maybe he’d let her waste away on her own. The Gods knew she didn’t deserve the love he held for her. So they’d played their cards and she’d lost the game. That was all it had been to her, a game. Endless parties and one night stands, even after she’d married him. Everything the Gods threw at her, she deserved. No matter how hard she tried to change, something would go wrong and she was back in the hell she’d started in. She deserved everything she got for her sins.
Light flooded the room, his shadow reflecting on the wall in front of her. Under the pillow her hands clenched. For a moment she stopped breathing, fear washing over her. He had every right to turn and walk away, leave her to suffer in damnation. She began to breathe again, closing her eyes to block out the vision of him turning away as she knew he should. The darkness invaded her mind. All she could do was remember to breathe. On the one hand she wouldn’t mind just stopping, but on the other hand she fears it. But it does stop, when she feels his fingers brushing though her hair. Her muscles tense, and she feels him lay next to her on the small hospital bed. He presses a kiss against the back of her neck and pulls her into his arms.
At first she considers pushing him away. After leading herself to believe he wouldn’t run to her side, he’d arrived. Still wearing his uniform and smelling like the inside of a Raptor. She tells herself that she won’t react. The last thing she wants to do is become a crying wreck in his arms. They weren’t weak people, and one little accident wasn’t going to change that. Yet through the blanket she felt his hand rest against her stomach, and she realised she couldn’t hold back any longer. She turned in his arms, stifling tears against his chest.
She didn’t deserve to have him with her.