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[self_named]

Duo was feeling a little jerked around by the time he was escorted into the impressively columned building that was, apparently, the Ankh-Morpork City Post. How they had tracked him down to the hole Lipwig had pointed him toward (and so kindly paid for), he had no idea, but he'd been greeted in the morning by three officers and a guy that looked

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[forged_hero]

Moist was in a meeting with the Young Stamp Enthusists of Ankh-Morpork, organized by the ever bewildered and pimply Stanley and consisting of smaller, slightly less pimply versions of Stanley. There was a lot of excited staring and an occasional nervous sweat over possible imperfections. One boy in particular had to be taken outside and ducked in the rainwater bin after seeing a Blue Triangle Inversion in person.

Moist was trying to balance his pen on one end when he felt a certain...presence. You don't spend the better part of a few years sleeping next to someone without getting a sense for their impression on reality. Duo's was a bit pointy. And it grinned. With dimples.

"Fascinating boys, fascinating, but unfortunately my next appointment has arrived. Perhaps you should have your next meeting outside? Talk to some girls, hm?"

They filed out, talking excited amongst themselves. There had been the promise of a tour of the printing room. Moist sighed. Stanley had gotten them matching tee-shirts. There was really no hope.

"Found your way over, I see. I don't suppose they've given you a parole officer, have they?" he asked, eyes darting around nervously. "Er. It's just the supports in this building are never really at their best..."

[self_named]

Duo's eyebrows ticked upward. He pressed the scroll against Moist's chest as he passed the taller man and headed into the office, sizing it up freely.

"They kinda did. That's for you. Nice digs," he said, and flung himself down into Moist's chair before kicking his heels up onto the corner of the desk. He folded his arms behind his head.

[forged_hero]

"Thanks. It came with a hat," he said, nodding to the gold lame hat hanging off a hook by the door. "To what do I owe the honor?" He broke the wax seal with his thumb, thinking that it would have been better if he could open it carefully, in private. You never knew when you'd need the Watch's seal.

"Now I know for certain that the law enforcement branch of this fine city's government is one place that even Vetinari will be hard pressed to land me a job..."

[self_named]

"Well, you'd know more about that then I would, boss," Duo said, tipping his head to one side and watching Moist's reaction to the news that Duo was now effectively his ward, and anything he did, Moist was responsible for. Poor bastard.

"What with me being a stranger 'round these parts, and all."

[forged_hero]

"Commander Vimes does have a very...specific kind of humor," Moist said, pinching his nose tiredly.

"Try to keep the felonies to a minimum, would you?" Moist cocked his hip against the desk, looking at Duo over the top of the paper. "My record is long enough for both of us and Vimes only needs the flimsiest excuse on a good day."

He laughed at that and shook his head, something traitorously fond leaking into his expression. "Strange to us, certainly."

[self_named]

"Can't promise anything," Duo said, "I don't know what's illegal here. I barely know where the fuck here is. Although I get that this is a post office." He sat forward, crossing his arms.

"How'd that happen, anyway? You don't have a postal worker vibe."

[forged_hero]

"Follow your instincts," Moist said, arching an eyebrow at him. "If it feels good, stop. The big rules never change."

"Right place in the right time, hard work, sending the boss a fruit basket everyone so once in a while." He grinned down at his fingers. "Or perhaps a tyrant...rescued me from the noose and provided me gainful employment under the threat of death by a sloppy executioner."

"You really picked the wrong reality," Moist said, dropping into on of the chairs opposite him.

[self_named]

"Apparently," Duo sighed. He scrubbed a hand over his face.

"So I'm on like work release? Is that what this is?" He stood and started walking around the room.

"Cuz I've never worked at a post office. I blew one up once. On accident," he added, with a glance at Moist.

"And are you cool with this? Not that I guess you've got a say, what with the dictator and all."

[forged_hero]

"It's already burnt to the ground once and I'm not sure I can fake another divine inheritance to rebuild it," Moist said.

"You don't exactly scream trustworthy. I think Vimes probably just wants to consolidate his problems. As for experience, don't worry about it. Most of our employees are only experienced in the culinary delights of paint chips. You'll be fine."

"Besides, I guess I've got a bit of a soft spot for lost causes."

And this was a bit too much like flirting, which was a terrible idea for reasons beyond measure, but Duo was sitting in his desk chair and looking at him and talking about blowing things up and Moist -- Moist wanted.

[self_named]

Duo watched Moist closely- perhaps unnervingly closely- for a long moment, before the look turned almost suspicious, one eye squinting slightly.

"So you're saying.... you guys've got wall candy here?"

[forged_hero]

"If only," Moist sighed. He shook his head. "Their survival instincts are less than intuitive."

"You've gotten off relatively easy, though. I got Post and a two ton clay parole officer with fire for eyes."

[self_named]

Duo's eyebrows drew slowly together and he gave Moist a look that would have been a lot harder, if everything in this city wasn't completely batshit already.

"What's this now?"

[forged_hero]

"Golems" Moist said, shrugging. "Big clay men. Made by priests. Commanded by the piece of paper in their head. Terribly literal. The first time I tried to out run Mr Pump he carried me and my horse home from a village halfway to Klatch. Poor thing is still nervous around statues."

Moist gave Duo a very innocent look. "Good postmen, though."

[self_named]

Duo tried not to look like his brain had just been reasonably broken, but it was a losing battle.

"So dwarfs, trolls, golems, wizards, these things are... this is just day to day shit for you guys."

[forged_hero]

"Unless you want to attract a lot of attention, it's day to day shit for you, too." He took pity on him, grinning a bit. "You'll get used to it, I suppose. No stranger than whatever corner of the multiverse you came from. Besides, I bet you adapt to unusual situations quite well."

He'd seen him do it before, after all.

[self_named]

Duo shrugged noncommittally.

"I get by." He absently dug the pad of his thumb against the middle of his lower lip, expression thoughtful.

"Guess weird is relative. So am I gonna sleep here, now?"