Dr. Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to
Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a
doctor."
"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of
money," Stan enplies. There's a diagnostic computer down at
WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it
to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights
up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing
hole, just for good measure. He then went back to WalMart, eager to test the
computer.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and
waits. In ten seconds the computer prints the following
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-funngal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.
And, as always, thank you for shopping at WalMart
Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a
doctor."
"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of
money," Stan enplies. There's a diagnostic computer down at
WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it
to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights
up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing
hole, just for good measure. He then went back to WalMart, eager to test the
computer.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and
waits. In ten seconds the computer prints the following
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-funngal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.
And, as always, thank you for shopping at WalMart