[Orig] Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Pie (Omake) Pt. 1
Title: Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Pie
Author: Umi-chii
Credits: Umi-chii owns everything, from letter A to the dot to the comma to the plot.
Pairing: Chris/Hilda (Set two years before Stockholm Syndrome)
A/N: Idea spawned by Razel. So yeah. Add in my weird sense of humor, Chris and Zide’s dictionary… well… Orz.
Summary: Chris is the world’s number one bastard with the most colorful dictionary. Hilda is just a quiet teacup-loving girl. Put in the guy’s best friend, world’s worst pansy, and the girl’s cousin, a tonfa-specialist who loves beating up men, their budding relationship is bound not to be an easy one.
Word Count: 14790
Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Pie
Stockholm Syndrome: Omake
Chris Balteisse is everything Hilda Kremilhade isn’t. He’s lazy, blunt and outright cruel. He could’ve passed for a thug, if only he’s a bully. When he first entered Niebel High, he’s a trouble maker, always attracting the attention of his upperclassmen. He raised his voice against teachers, even at school admins. Occasionally, he would flick the finger at them. Basically, he didn’t give much of a rat’s ass to anyone around him, not even when his best friend, Zide, was around. His attitude and conduct grade in class is such an eyesore it made Zide feel superior, something everyone can’t help but ask, “Why is he still in class Alpha?” It does everyone a wonder on how Chris is accepted into the Alpha class. (Everyone has stopped wondering about his friend when Zide emerged from the list’s bottom to third from the top.)
So when he was able to establish a relationship with the always quiet, warm-hearted and nice Hilda Kremilhade, it’s beyond anyone’s amazement just how someone like Chris can become Hilda’s boyfriend.
It all started in his second year in Niebel High, during St. White’s day where all the boys were busy confessing their hearts out to the girls. Some were even racing to be the first handing the white ribbon to the girl they loved. In short, everyone’s into the holiday; except Chris.
Zide had already left him to look for Catherine O’hana, leaving him all alone in class II-Α’s pack of wild boys. In all honesty, he was utterly sick of the nasty atmosphere. He couldn’t stomach the idea of the holiday, much less imagine just why were these people are so obsessed with it. They’re acting like mad hounds on the loose, salivating for that certain slab of raw meat. (Chris grimaced at the image it brought, and decided he will never be like them.)
That’s why when a group of girls passed by his classroom and felt the sudden rise of hormones from his fellow male classmates, he quickly fled the classroom and the insanity that’ll surely follow. Even when he’s finally out of the building, he swore he could hear the girls’ screams from being hounded by hormonal teenagers. Thank god he has a Y chromosome.
Walking aimlessly around the building, he turned for a corner and spotted a hilly side with an old oak tree far south from the building entrance. Advancing towards it, he then saw two shadows just beside the tree. He frowned and turned around, ready to leave when suddenly, a cake landed itself straight at the back of his head.
If the readers have guessed by now judging the many definitions regarding Chris’ personality, one would know that Chris never takes anything lightly, especially when the matters are directed at him. So obviously, when a cake-strawberry shortcake to be specific-hit him on the side of his head when he turned around, the least he could do was beat the living lights out of whoever did it. It’s okay if he was hit on the face, because that could give him an excuse to murder, but with his back turned? Oh no, definitely no. There’s completely no chance for anyone to be able to get away from his wrath unscathed.
It was no surprise for Chris to be attacked by anyone, true. He had a bruise on his right muscled arm to prove that, courtesy of a senior who’s spending a week in the hospital.
Ready to murder the pour soul, Chris slowly turned around to face the hill and its old oak tree. Instead of seeing ugly seniors with popping acnes, he saw two slim figures that made his eyebrow twitch. Surely it’s impossible for anyone this beautiful unnoticed by rabid teenage boys in the middle of St. White’s Day, right? It’s simply inhumane.
And damn illegal to make Chris’ eyebrow twitch.
By all means, Chris is no ordinary guy. Unlike normal boys who tend to get boners at the sight of naked women with breasts twice the size of an average human brain, Chris doesn’t. No one can get any reaction from Chris other than a quirked eyebrow and a ‘What?’ followed by a ‘Don’t know, it’s normal for you losers to be perverts.’ Zide would always tell him how scary Chris could get in such circumstances until it wasn’t a big deal anymore.
So when Chris was presented with the sight of two very beautiful sophomores, one glaring and the other looking apologetic, it’s a shame to his manly pride to blink at them and have an eyebrow twitch. These two girls definitely did not meet his expectations. It made him so out of character that he unconsciously stepped back an inch when the girl with the apologetic look approached him. Chris had took the liberty to study her looks; she’s probably Asian, judging from the peach colored skin, brown eyes and dark brown hair. Her lips, oh dear god, her lips. So pink and…
“Stop, Chris Balteisse, stop. You’re world’s number one jerk, and jerks don’t say ‘Oh dear God’ even if it gets to make your bestfriend piss his pants, and you definitely do not need to accept Phantom’s invitation to his show.” Was the internal monologue going on inside Chris’ head, a bad habit he acquired since young after being stuck living with monks for years.
Then the girl disappeared from his line of sight. He watched her skidded slowly down from the hill top, how she hold out both of her hands balancing herself. Seconds later she’s already standing in front of him, smiling at his stupor. It would be an understatement to say that Chris was caught surprised, especially when he didn’t bother wiping off the remnants of cake on the side of his head.
So caught off guard he was that he didn’t even caught the girl’s words. He wasn’t even certain if the girl was dissing him, calling him stupid or simply apologizing. One thing he was sure of was that this girl had just struck a cord inside of him. Again with the twitching eyebrow.
Acting on impulse, (hey, he did see her raising a hand) he hit the girl at her temple with his palm without blinking, sending her crashing to the ground. The moment the girl landed on the grass with a cry, his face got connected with a hard fist it broke his nose.
“Fuck!”
The following seconds were spent trying to beat the hell out of each other as much as they could with a living wall struggling between them, trying to detach their fists from each other’s face.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!”
“Shit, bitch!”
“Cut it out! Both of you!”
Chris quickly drew back from the pair while the other one, the girl who had punched him was still struggling against the hold of the girl he had hit. Chris noted the girl’s high ponytail with an ugly orange hair tie keeping brown hairs with blonde highlights together. Who the hell uses orange hair tie?
“He freaking hit you!”
Oh, her alright. No surprise anymore, since he noticed that her shoes are orange sneakers.
“And he has a reason to!”
With yellow linings, oh my god.
“But he’s a guy!”
Zide is really going to need to bring extra pants next time.
Bracing his bleeding nose, Chris absently sent it back to its right proportion, wincing at the pain. In front of him, the two girls were still bickering.
“Are you defending that fag?!”
“I’m not!”
Chris frowned at them. Nope, these two are definitely not any normal humans. And no, he’s not a fag. Zide might be, since he’s such a pussy but then again, he’s stuck in his libido named Catherine O’hana. Still.
“Oi.” He interrupted the two. Both quickly turned to look at him, one with an apologetic face while the other… well, he don’t know how he could call that a face but he was certain the other girl, the one with a glaring look and orange hair tie (Insert a WTF from Chris), was seething at him. And it took all of his manpower to keep himself from smacking the apologetic girl’s mouth shut, since she decided to apologize at him the moment he calmed down.
“I’m very sorry for hitting you with the cake. I was supposed to be throwing it at my cousin,” she pointed a finger at the seething girl beside her-yes, she’s still seething at him. “But I didn’t know that it would fly past her and hit you and I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh, please forgive me!” She bowed at him apologetically. He dully noted the annoyed twitch coming from the girl’s cousin (the one with the orange hair tie), much less the time spent in apologizing. For the record, it barely took her five seconds to finish it all. As if using the ‘Oh my gosh’ wasn’t enough to twitch his eyebrow in annoyance. (Chris made a mental note to mark this day as the day his eyebrow surprised him the most.)
Then unknowingly, Chris was pulled to study her in a much detailed way. He stared at her slanted, almost almond shaped eyes, so doe-like in such a brown hue he had never seen before. In fact, everything about her seems to be brown. Her hair band is brown, matching the dark brown of her hair. Too bad it didn’t bring out the brownness of her eyes. Unlike her cousin (Chris still can’t believe they’re related by blood, up to now) who’s so easily riled up and just so physically violent, this girl in front of him isn’t. He could almost feel the warm, home-sweet-home vibes oozing from her pores. Then when she tilted her head to the side, blinking at him (Oh, shit, those eyes are killing him!), silently inquiring him what’s wrong (Chris still doesn’t know he’s gaping and his eyes are so wide Zide can go and kiss his Life Pad goodbye), Chris lost his balance and just stumbled back, falling flat on his ass. Chris swore that although said nameless, sweet and oh-so-innocent girl is unaware of it, her cousin (which Chris won’t deny is a spawn of the devil) sent him The Evil Eye, promising him a death as inhumane as she can think of. Chris could almost feel the murderous aura coming from the cousin. And somehow, there’s something about these two that seemed familiar.
“Shit.”
“Huh?”
“Hoh!”
The spawn of the devil suddenly grinned down at him with an evil gleam in her eyes. Chris could swear he saw a diamond dust twinkling. Damn his luck for catching a meeting with thise ugly spawn of the damn devil.
Chris was glad when the girl, his dearest Fair Maiden (damn, why must she be so sweet and innocent?!) suddenly whipped her head to the side to direct a stare at her cousin. It saved him from embarrassing himself further in front of the girl, since he had suddenly pointed a shaky finger at the cousin. The cousin only smirked at him, while ignoring the stare the other girl is giving her.
“You!”
Chris nearly cringed on how pansy his voice sounded like. No wonder he clicks with Zide. They match.
“Who?”
The ugly spawn of devil pointed a finger at herself, still grinning that it made Chris gritting like mad. “Me.” She said triumphantly. Her cousin only blinked at her then at Chris then tilted her head in confusion.
Then Chris decided that it’s Time’s Up for him to act like some pansy, shitless idiot and face the monstrosity in front of him like a brave man (and save the damsel in distress along the way).
Of course he knows this girl with the ugly orange hair tie! This girl is the very epitome of evil that walks the land of God’s Creation! She’s the spawn of the devil! She’s the leviathan, the behemoth, the freaking humanoid Godzilla! Chris can’t believe he had forgotten that this very vicious and vile creature is actually an accomplice of the one and only Krista Eldens, world’s most horrible, ugliest and bitchiest hag ever!
“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”
And Chris happens to be the world’s unluckiest jerk to face such monster in a non-public holiday.
“Oh my…”
“Cous, may I kill him for putting colors on our bland dictionary?”
“I don’t know…”
“God damn it, SHIT!”
Chris really tried. He really did. He had poured every ounce of his effort not to swear any further in front of his fair lady (Oh, boy. If Zide hears him saying those two words, he’s not only going to piss in his pants, he’s gonna faint like a girl) but it’s just that it’s so damn, freaking hard to digest the fact that he had caught up in the wire strings of this vicious criminal. And the fact that in a flash, said vicious criminal disappeared only to reappear again, now in just a few inches away from him, introducing the blunt metal butt of a tonfa to his face.
“Eat this, jerkwad!”
Before Chris could even yell a “Fuck!” he was already flying backwards, jaw so much in pain he couldn’t continue his twitching.
Now things are beginning to clear inside Chris’ head. It’s probably because of the hit, hitting him squarely on his left jaw. The force of the attack had him skidding back more than three yards before his footing had lost its hold on the ground. When he was able to regain control of the momentum, he’s already back on his ass, the back of a hand wiping a thin trail of blood on the corner his lips. No wonder she’s in Krista’s gang. She’s probably an officer of the martial arts club, if she’s this good.
“You…”
“Heh. Wanna fight?” The horrible she-devil smirked again, looking down at him with such arrogance Chris wanted to spring up and give her a punch of his own. But then he remembered that he barely brought a single weapon with him today, since he thought the seniors would be too busy with the girls to bother him.
“Just my damn luck.” Chris muttered to himself and pushed himself up to his knees.
Behind her, the shy and timid girl made to grab her cousin’s arm but was quickly pushed back. Chris only glared back at her.
“Figures not. Well then, if you would like to regain some sort of masculinity, or at least admit that you have a shred of pride left after being beaten by a girl in just one hit, go and visit me in our club meeting tomorrow, after fourth period. You already know who I am anyway, judging from that look,” The tonfa she’s wielding disappeared in another flash as his fair lady (He… obviously can’t help but call her his fair lady) watched them both with flickering, worried eyes. “The name’s Jennifer Anaheim, tonfa-specialist of the Shinsengumi. Come and duel with me if you think you’re up to it. Honestly though, you deserved the beating for hitting a girl.” Then she turned and left, probably walking back to the hill.
Resentment and anger began to pool up inside of him (because honestly, when did hitting a girl become illegal?), but when his dear fair lady approached him with a smile so warm it melted his heart, Chris looked up at her and blushed. If Zide sees him like this, the guy would probably pull out of the soccer team and declare Chris to be high on crack. But Chris didn’t care anymore if he’s acting way out of character, because said girl had just extended a hand for him to take, her eyes closing as she smiled at him brightly. Chris nearly forgot to breathe.
“I’m Hilda Kremilhade of class II-Δ. I apologize for my cousin’s attitude.”
Chris grunted an ‘Hn’ before looking back to stare at the hand, trying to stay nonchalant while his inner being is doing a rather obnoxious victory dance. It’s very pleasing to the eyes, and Chris wondered vaguely if it’s soft to the touch. ‘No harm in doing, right? After all, it’s only polite to take whatever she offers.’ Says the radical part of his brain, but then Chris grunted again to make it go away. But when he saw that beautiful smile Hilda is giving him again, Chris lost it. And thus, he accepted Hilda’s hand and pulled himself up (he’s only half surprised the girl didn’t falter from her stand when he did pull, considering who her cousin is), muttering a soft ‘Thanks’.
“The name’s Chris. Chris Balteisse, class II-Α.”
Chris quirked an eyebrow at the girl when she blinked at him, her mouth forming an O-shaped as if in awe.
“You’re… in class Alpha? Then does that mean that…”
“Not really. I don’t even know how I ended up in the Honor class.”
Hilda giggled softly. Chris found himself smiling a little at the sight. They would have resembled something of a sweet couple who had just finished the process between two young lovers during White Day, if it wasn’t for the sudden gasp Hilda made, and Chris’ twitch of an eyebrow when he remembered something so out of place.
He still has cake remains on the side of his face. He ended up smacking Hilda on the back of her head when she started fussing over him again.
[xxx]
After the much chaotic first break they had, which took up nearly half an hour after their second period, Chris went back to his class and found Zide sprawled across his desk, head covered with an opened Biology textbook. Frowning at the sight, he removed the book and flipped it close before kicking the legs of the desk, waking the other boy up. When Zide didn’t do much to yell or swear at him for kicking table, Chris got the message very well.
“She didn’t, did she?”
After a long silence, Zide pulled his face away from the table and looked with a dull gaze at the blackboard. “No.”
Chris sighed. Sometimes, he just can’t believe how Zide was able to attract himself an entire fanclub when he could barely introduce himself to his crush since elementary. “How many more years are you going to stay pathetic and celibate?” Chris asked him sarcastically, drawing out his own chair. Zide only gave him the finger before going back slumping his face on his desk, face so pale those shadows underneath his eyes are nearly black. He looked like a very malnourished panda, Chris thought. Sighing again, he drew out a notebook from his bag, checking its green cover. (“Always use green cover for Biology,” Elder You Te, Chris monk teacher from the temple had once told him “It’s motivating, like tea during spa.”) Zide only looked at him without turning his head, bored to death.
“Chris, go out with me tonight.”
“And then what? Proclaim myself to the world that I’m gay and going out with the world’s biggest pansy? No, thank you. I’d rather go out with that Eldens bitch than you.”
“Bastard, I just need someone to go with for a drink. ‘sides, you just turned sixteen last April, right? We can go and get ourselves drunk in Club Sion then.”
Chris only gave him a cold look, but then it withered when Zide started pouting on him. “Fine, but I have some fight tomorrow, so no alcohol for me.”
Now that caught Zide’s attention-the fight.
He quickly sat up straight, now very awake and alert, and gave Chris a look that clearly speaks, “WTH? FESS UP!” But Chris only shrugged and opened his notebook while taking out a pen from his pocket. For someone like Chris, it seems like landing a fight with one of the Shinsengumi officers is a normal thing happening on a daily basis. To Zide and the rest of the people in the entire world, it’s completely insane and suicidal. The way Zide’s jaw was hanging quite loosely would be an understatement to what he’s thinking. If he can still think after Chris told him everything about his encounter with Jennifer Anaheim of the Shinsengumi, the Disciplinary Committee.
“Chris Balteisse, do you have any idea about what you’re talking about?”
Chris shrugged again. Really, he has no idea on why Zide suddenly sounds so worried about him when he’s supposed to be worried about his own lovelife.
“What’s with you anyway? It’s just the Shinsengumi, a bunch of girls who likes doing some martial art craps-MMPH!” If it wasn’t for his hands busily prying off Zide’s hands over his mouth, Chris would have punched the guy in the groin. Yes, punch him in his dick.
“Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou, you jerkwad! Those girls beat anyone into a bloody pulp! They’re dangerous and don’t give a damn if you bleed to death, because they admins' support!”
Even if Zide hissed at him so much like a pansy (which he still is, Chris believes), it did nothing to remove those sweaty palms pressing themselves against his lips. Chris would have blanched and puke out his entrails if he ever get to taste how sweaty those palms are.
After struggling even more, Chris was finally able to save his face from being smothered even more by Zide’s hands. The moment he was able to get those hands away, he turned in a swift move and kicked Zide right on his patella, which sent the other howling in pain and ended up smacking Chris upside the head.
“Fuck!”
“Damnshit!”
“Damn it, my head!”
“Head, my ass you fucktard! You hit my fucking kneecap!”
“Boys! Class is about to start! Double detention for the two of you! Always swearing, even in class! Shame on you!”
Mr. Kingston was already in the platform, holding the roll call list while glaring down at both Chris and Zide. But the two best friends only ignored the teacher and continue having their smite-o-glare contest, staring each other down.
“Chris, I swear if you start beating those girls, much less get beaten by the girls, I ain’t going 10 feet near you, ya hear?!”
“Well, fuck you, pansy. I ain’t letting go of a fight, especially if I get to pummel that bitch down for beating me with a fucking baton!”
“BOYS! DETENTION!”
“SHUT UP, YOU OLD CRAP!”
Suffice to say, both best friends were sent to the guidance counselor in a flash by a fuming Mr. Kingston. Indeed, only the two best friends have the gall to yell at a teacher in such manner and get away with it. Not that they encourage other students to be like the two idiots but oh well. At least no one tries to challenge both boys’ positions in the campus.
[xxx]
“Crap, crap, crap…”
“My old man is gonna scream at me again when he gets a roll of this…”
“Well, I bet ya a hundred bucks my grandma is probably dead by now. She always gets heart attacks whenever the school calls her about me…”
“I feel for you, man. I feel for you.”
“You better be, you moron.”
Both sighed together. Staring at the tiled ceiling of a classroom usually reserved for detention is definitely boring. Both boys had already counted the number of tiles since their first day here, which was exactly the first day of their first year. In fact, that was when they had met each other and became friends. Though the two boys are quite happy that they had gotten into a detention in the first place, since they get to meet each other and become best of friends, it doesn’t mean they actually like spending their time, considering that ‘spending time in detention’ is equal to ‘stare at the ceiling and count the tiles around you’. You see, there’s a huge and mighty difference between going to a detention and spending a detention. When you go to a detention, you get to meet a new friend, which was both boys’ case. But once you spend that detention time… well, it’s as boring as grilling barbeque is.
“Chris, I’m bored. Will you jack off in front of me to entertain me?”
“Sorry, I just jacked off this morning. Why don’t you striptease for me? You can use that mop over there as your pole.”
“Nah, striptease requires too much energy and that mop is too short. Do you think we can call hookers from here?”
“If you count Ms. Irise as a hooker then yeah, I suppose.”
“I don’t think she’s a hooker, man. She’s… too flat chested.”
“How ‘bout that new Chemistry teacher? You know, the one with the J.Lo ass.”
“Chris Balteisse, are you blind or daft?”
“Both, I suppose. What about you?”
“Me? Oh, I just suffer a bit of erectile dysfunction and the usual cyclothymia.”
Chris snorted for no apparent reason while Zide yawned. “Bullcrap.” They both muttered together, before breaking into a short, hearty laugh. That entire conversation above was just something they always do whenever they’re bored. It also served as a moment for them to relax and reconnect, to remind each other that the other is still around, to fill in stories the other had missed. Whoever dares to listen to them talking like that and actually tries to look for the real meaning is a real idiot and doesn’t have anything to do with life. One freshman had once tried to eavesdrop between them talking during one detention, (actually, the kid didn’t have to eavesdrop since he’s in the same room, and it’s not like he can actually leave the room and paste his ear to the door to listen to them drone on) he ended up with an exploding head while screaming and running around like a mad, headless chicken. So in short, every word they share with each other during detentions is utter and complete bullcrap, because one has to know Chris isn’t the right person to talk to when it comes to lesbian orgies or home shopping channels. And Zide ain’t quite the right choice to talk to when it comes to something and anything related to their school.
“Hey, Zide.”
“Hmm?”
Chris went back to staring at the ceiling. He had somehow found it suddenly interesting than the graffiti-vandalized blackboard.
“There’s something I didn’t mention about my run-in with that Anaheim bitch.”
“What? She’s a flat-chest too like Eldens?”
“No. Dude, she’s double D-cup. And we both agreed that Eldens is a triple D.”
“Keyword, my friend: Agreed.”
“Yeah, but heck. There’s someone else with her, you see.”
Zide turned away from the ceiling then at the blackboard then at Chris, who, for the second time in both of their lives, looked so pensive. The first time Zide had seen Chris like this, so deep in thought, was when Chris told him about his past in some abandoned temple in China, living his life together with monks.
“And who’s this person you’re talking about?”
Chris shrugged. He’s not sure himself what he should call this person either. Sure, she’s nice, kind and gentle. Very forgiving and humble too.
“She’s this girl who I find very boring to look at, not a hot chick at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“The ugly duckling, then?”
“Sort of.”
“Figures you’ll be the type who falls for the ugly ducklings.”
Chris turned his focus on the blackboard away to glare at Zide.
“Hey, at least I’m not the hotshot who falls for the campus’ prettiest chick, only to be ignored since I can’t find a single nerve cell in my body to fucking introduce myself.”
“Touché.” Zide muttered, giving Chris the finger again.
Silence took over once again between the two of them as the clock ticks, each second becoming a minute after a round. Five minutes passed, Zide began tapping his pen against the desk while Chris started counting the tiles on the floor. By the time Zide reached his 293rd tap and Chris finished counting the tiles (there were 167 of them), Chris picked up from where he left.
“The thing is, Zide, she’s… well, you know.”
“I know what? Chris, I ain’t telepathic nor all-knowing.”
“Well…” Chris paused for a while, looking for the right words. “She’s the typical kind of woman who you would go for while remaining celibate until she gives the go sign.”
“Ah, she’s the one then?”
“Yeah… God, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Am I turning into a sappy, old man?”
“Oh, not at all. Don’t worry, the day you started talking to me about girly stuffs, not to mention using that ‘Oh, God!’ thing is the day I realized I’m actually a piece of shit for not having enough bladders to actually introduce myself to Catherine.”
“It’s gall, Zide. Not gull bladder.”
Zide shrugged anyway, before giving Chris the pointed look. And before anyone starts to wonder, most of the reason that these two go to detention is to actually talk about something privately, from family problems to plans for revenge against upperclassmen. So when they both suddenly landed themselves into a detention in the middle of a quiz, or worse, lunch time, then it’s because they need to have one of The Talks. It just so happens that the chief guidance counselor decided to spare an entire classroom just for them ever since the incident with that poor kid they shared detention time with.
“So who’s this fair lady you suddenly decide to rescue from the vicious Godzilla?”
“Hilda Kremilhade of Class II-Δ. Ring a bell?”
Zide’s pointed look widened until he’s finally gaping at Chris again. Chris only glared and frowned at him, prodding with the tip of his shoe at his friend to answer. After kicking aside the pointy shoe, Zide returned Chris’ frown and gave him a version of his own.
“Dude, you’re completely nuts,” Chris’ eyebrow twitched a little when Zide jabbed a finger at him. “Forget about The One or the Fair Maiden crap. This girl spells trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Get me?”
“What makes you say that?”
Zide sighed at him, but turned back looking all serious again, as if they’re discussing the political execution of Mussolini.
“She’s the freaking cousin of that Anaheim bitch, and a really close friend of Eldens. Not only that, this girl… just… Dude! She’s BIG! She’s deadly obsessed with TEACUPS. How scary is that?!”
“As scary as your ass can get?”
“Fuck you, Chris! My ass ain’t scary!”
“You wish, pansy. You’ve never seen your ass.”
“You make it sound like you have.”
“I had, moron. That’s why I said it’s scary.”
The two fell quiet abruptly. Chris was still frowning. It clearly disturbs that Chris a lot to hear Zide warning him about a not-pleasing-to-the-sight girl as if she’s a monster worse than Godzilla. She’s really nice to him this morning. She even smiled at him and offered her freaking hand to help him up. Sure, it may be because she had accidentally hit him in the head with a cake, but still, she apologized profusely and tried to keep her cousin from beating him to a pulp, right? And she freaking offered her fair maiden hand to him! Him, of all people! Him! Chris Balteisse! Niebel High’s number one delinquent with the worst temper! It’s impossible for her not to know him! And even if she does know him, she didn’t cower in fear, not even after hitting her out of spite! For the monster, the ugly beast to fall in love with the fair maiden, the beauty, it’s a match made in heaven! It’s destiny! THIS is DESTINY!
“Chris Balteisse, if you start going on in your inner monologue sounding like the gay jerkwad I know you are, I’m going to kick your ass this instance.”
Shut up, Zide. Chris isn’t done yet with his inner monologue. It’s inevitable for him to heed his best friend’s warning, not even when it’s about how ugly and flat-chested his fair maiden will be! And besides, if his fair maiden ended up to be someone with a buxom, voluptuous woman, Chris might end up exploding in the end. So it’s very clear that this fair maiden, his fair lady, is indeed chosen and given to him by the God himself! Oh, he shall never give up indeed to-
“OHMYFUCKINGDAMNGOD!”
“Sorry, I was aiming for the ass. I swear I didn’t hit your balls on purpose.”
By the time the guidance counselor had opened the door to the detention classroom’s door, he was surprised… no, he was scared shitless beyond recognition when he saw the state of the classroom and both boys inside. In the end, he had decided to leave the two to themselves and leave the classroom altogether for the sake of his health; the insurance had already terminated his health insurance after ten straight visits. Hopefully enough, once dinner calls for the two to come out and go home, they’ll stop by themselves and actually listen to the heeds of their stomach and thus, leave the school to peace.
It should be clear by now for everyone that all staff members of Niebel High want nothing more but peace to return to the campus, or at least these two students sedated and unable to cause troubles that just can’t sound possible for a teenager to do. Those two alone had sent more than three teachers wheezing and unconsciousness to the hospital-or worse, grave.
[xxx]
It was already a quarter to six in the evening when Chris and Zide left the school, a bit curious why the guidance counselor didn’t come to get them out, much less actually leaving the door open for them during the entire duration of the detention. (Zide kept on insisting that when he tried to open the door, it was locked. Chris only called him an idiot for trying to open a door in the opposite direction.)
Only a few students were left behind in the campus, some standing by while mostly belong to a club or the Council. It’s quite easy to pick them up actually, since the Council members always wear this red band on their left arm. Members of Shinsengumi, however, wear a blue band on their right arm.
Chris only picked up the details when two Shinsengumi members walking beside a Council member walked past them. He kept on staring at them, even when they had walked past that Zide had to stop mid-step just to pull the other back to focus.
“Stop staring, would ya? You know they’ll pick on anyone if they could.”
“Yeah, but it’s just weird,” Chris pointed at the two Shinsengumi members then at the Council one. “Why do they always act like some bodyguards to those dipshits?”
Zide sighed. It’ll take more than a century for Chris to actually talk with respect for someone who demands it. “That’s because the Shinsengumi is also the Disciplinary Committee. Of course they work hand in hand with the Council. The Council can’t raise a hand on the students, but the Disciplinary committee can that’s why they’re always together.”
“Bullshit.”
“Whatever.”
Zide went back to walking ahead of Chris, but the latter didn’t turn his gaze away from the three executive students. It just sounds stupid to hear all those craps. He hates to admit it though; he did feel a certain chilly vibe that made him freeze and bow his gaze away when they passed by.
Before they walk past the school gates, Chris was even more determined to bring both Shinsengumi and the Council down, even if it means dying along the way all because of what they made him feel.
“I told dad not to pick me up tonight, so I guess we can just walk our way home and spend the night out in Club Sion.”
Chris only nodded. Together, they headed for the subway and took the train heading for Boswell Street. After a few more crossing of streets and turning of blocks, they could finally see the stairs on the side of the sidewalk leading down to a small, homely hallway then the trademarked mosaic double doors of Club Sion. They took down the flight of stairs and showed the guard their Patron cards. Club Sion is an atypical club that only serves selected costumers of all ages, called Patrons. All Patrons have to be registered as members of the club, and it’s not easy at all to become a Patron of Club Sion. After all, everything is by invitation only; only a Patron can invite another person to be a Patron, that’s why most of the Patrons of Club Sion are either completely wealthy or powerful and politicians, most of them acquainted to each other.
Zide, being the son of a wealthy business man, was given to have a Patron card ever since his father first brought him to the club. Chris only got one after he met Zide and became his friend. Ever since then, they would always frequent the club whenever they feel like hanging out. According to Zide, only sore losers would go and hang out in some shady, night clubs or karaoke stops. They, being the ‘cool dudes’ they are, have to hang out in classy, private and quiet clubs like Club Sion. Unlike those disco bars, Club Sion’s form of musical entertainment is a piano companied by either cello or violin, and occasionally, saxophone or flute. Chris didn’t bother to argue any further, since he didn’t want to hurt Zide’s little pride that the latter happens to be a sore loser. Only sore losers wouldn’t have the nerve cell to introduce themselves to their crush since elementary.
Entering the ambience-rich club, both boys settled down in their selected stools in front of the bar. The bartender only gave them a curt nod before going to the other side to mix their drinks.
“Spike mine, please.” Zide said softly, and the bartender nodded back in reply. Even if Club Sion’s bartenders only have one shift every week, the boys have been frequenting Club Sion far too many times that they already know all six bartenders by heart.
“The usual blend then, sir?”
“Ah.” Chris muttered. They both went back to their shared silence, disturbed only by the bartender, Harley, with their drinks. After finishing a quarter of his, Zide turned and inspected Chris’ pensive look. It was the first time Chris had looked so pensive twice in a day.
“Is it…” Chris looked up, eyebrows raised. “Really that bothersome?”
“Which one?”
Zide shrugged. The piano piece begins to play in the background, adding even more warmth into the club’s ambience and somehow, the ambience melted Chris’ heart, making him even mellower. He didn’t even feel like being sarcastic with Zide. Instead, he felt like being more honest. Not that he lie to Zide. Heck, Zide’s the only person he had always been honest to. He just… felt like being a bit more honest than the usual.
“Falling in love.” Zide finished succinctly in a very soft voice Chris had to lean over to make sure he heard the right thing. Zide only felt quiet when Chris quirked an eyebrow at him, silently asking him what brought the question up. Zide only sent him a look that said, “Nothing. Nevermind.” But Chris, being Chris, didn’t let it go and instead, prodded him even further.
“What is it to you if I am falling in love and somehow getting myself a girlfriend?” He asked cautiously. Chris had been very aware that unlike what other people perceive, Zide is much more sensitive than he lets other believe. He’s really sensitive to the bone, actually. It’s only his will to be with Chris, to remain friends with him that made Zide so insensitive with what others think, because Chris knew that unlike others, Zide never lets go of a person who he sees to be the one for him. That’s why no matter how bumpy or muddy the road they had walked together, they’re still beside each other. Other times, it would be Chris in front, other times it would be Zide in front. But always, always, at the end of the road, they would be beside each other, equal to each other, so equal that they understand each other without uttering a word. Things had always been like that between them, which is probably why Chris felt the first wave of trepidation coming from Zide.
His best friend is afraid that once Chris gets himself a girlfriend, or in their ‘homely-man’ term, ‘settle down’, he would be forgotten and thrown away into a corner, because Chris finally has no need for him. And somehow, Chris has a feeling that the only plausible reason Zide has for not introducing himself to Catherine O’hana was because he didn’t want to choose between their friendship (frankly, they only have each other as friends) and a serious relationship with the girl in the near future.
And at times like this, Chris had to admit that Zide can be too smart he ended up being stupid in the end.
“…you know.”
Chris blinked. Zide caught it then glared at him, narrowed eyes silently berating him for being a jerk. Chris had been too caught up with his inner monologue again he ended up ignoring Zide talking. But Chris was surprised when Zide only sighed at him, instead of yelling or physically abusing him like he usually does. It must’ve been because of the club’s atmosphere.
“For pity’s sake, I’ll say it again,” Chris’ nod must have been too out of character, since Zide gave him a look near ‘You really are a retard’. “We’ve been like, the best of friends since we first met, right?” Chris nodded, sipping silently from his drink. “And we both know that you’re my first real friend, and the same goes for you,” Chris nodded again, setting down his drink without taking his sight away from Zide. “And you’ve probably already guessed by now that I’d rather not have a girlfriend than lose you, right?” Yes, Chris had already figured that one out ever since Zide first hinted it to him.
“It’s…” Bar stool scraped slightly against marble tiled floors as Chris shifted in his seat to gaze squarely at Zide who’s biting his bottom him in frustration. It had been one of the other boy’s habits that Chris can’t help but find endearing albeit cute.
“It’s just that… it’s not like I’m asking you not to have a girlfriend, since I know I’m really not on top of your list,” Stupid Zide. Always so stupid, always putting himself second before others. “And I know I don’t have any right at all to tell you not to go near that girl but it’s just that… I…” Stupid Zide, always so stupid, always so blind to everything he had failed to notice he’s already crying. Chris had to bite the insides of his cheeks not to smack the other senseless. Instead, he settled on another option, an option that came purely out of instinct, or maybe, his subconscious mind. It may have been weird at first, considering the look Zide suddenly gave him (it is a first for Chris to touch the other without any murderous intent) but Chris is sure he didn’t regret laying a hand on Zide’s shoulder before cupping the younger boy’s cheek. Zide stared at Chris for a second, then another, then another until finally he just let everything go and jumped and hugged Chris for all his worth (Chris bit back the wince of hearing metal scratching against marble rather ear-splittingly) and Chris returned the hug even if he knows he’ll end up pounding the other to death for wetting his uniform.
“I-hic-d-don’t want,” Another hic then a sob. “to l-lose you-” Chris patted the other’s back while stroking those black locks calmly, trying to soothe the other. But somehow, Zide’s too far away now to hear those sweet nothings Chris is whispering to his shivering form. It was at one of these moments that Chris noticed Zide is such a frail boy, so lithe in comparison to his.
One good thing about Club Sion is that other Patrons respect the privacy of other Patrons, and Chris is truly grateful that no one dares to turn a head and stare at them rudely.
It took them both some time, though more on Zide to settle down properly in their seats since he didn’t feel like letting go at all. When Zide had finally released his tight hold on Chris and pulled away, they both found themselves smiling like some dorks who got their first ice creams. Then they chuckled before laughing at each other softly. Even the bartender and the other Patrons ended up smiling at them warmly.
Without a word, they left a tip for the bartender then left the club, intent on going home and getting ready for the next day. After all, the following day would be the day Chris will accept Anaheim’s challenge and prove himself worthy to his fair maiden, and Zide would be beside him cheering him on like he always does.
And Chris knew that once tomorrow comes, everything between him and Zide would never be the same ever again, because they had finally crossed that boundary and broke that wall because he was finally able to hold his best friend’s hand without holding back anything, without any unwanted feelings. And he didn’t let go of Zide’s hand at all during the entire walk home, not even when they both settled down inside their own homes and retired for the night.
If living fourteen years without a real friend will lead him to this, then Chris is more than happy that he had waited. He’s even happier that he got himself into detention on his first day at school a year ago for punching the Council president during welcoming ceremony.
>>Part 2
Author: Umi-chii
Credits: Umi-chii owns everything, from letter A to the dot to the comma to the plot.
Pairing: Chris/Hilda (Set two years before Stockholm Syndrome)
A/N: Idea spawned by Razel. So yeah. Add in my weird sense of humor, Chris and Zide’s dictionary… well… Orz.
Summary: Chris is the world’s number one bastard with the most colorful dictionary. Hilda is just a quiet teacup-loving girl. Put in the guy’s best friend, world’s worst pansy, and the girl’s cousin, a tonfa-specialist who loves beating up men, their budding relationship is bound not to be an easy one.
Word Count: 14790
Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Pie
Stockholm Syndrome: Omake
Chris Balteisse is everything Hilda Kremilhade isn’t. He’s lazy, blunt and outright cruel. He could’ve passed for a thug, if only he’s a bully. When he first entered Niebel High, he’s a trouble maker, always attracting the attention of his upperclassmen. He raised his voice against teachers, even at school admins. Occasionally, he would flick the finger at them. Basically, he didn’t give much of a rat’s ass to anyone around him, not even when his best friend, Zide, was around. His attitude and conduct grade in class is such an eyesore it made Zide feel superior, something everyone can’t help but ask, “Why is he still in class Alpha?” It does everyone a wonder on how Chris is accepted into the Alpha class. (Everyone has stopped wondering about his friend when Zide emerged from the list’s bottom to third from the top.)
So when he was able to establish a relationship with the always quiet, warm-hearted and nice Hilda Kremilhade, it’s beyond anyone’s amazement just how someone like Chris can become Hilda’s boyfriend.
It all started in his second year in Niebel High, during St. White’s day where all the boys were busy confessing their hearts out to the girls. Some were even racing to be the first handing the white ribbon to the girl they loved. In short, everyone’s into the holiday; except Chris.
Zide had already left him to look for Catherine O’hana, leaving him all alone in class II-Α’s pack of wild boys. In all honesty, he was utterly sick of the nasty atmosphere. He couldn’t stomach the idea of the holiday, much less imagine just why were these people are so obsessed with it. They’re acting like mad hounds on the loose, salivating for that certain slab of raw meat. (Chris grimaced at the image it brought, and decided he will never be like them.)
That’s why when a group of girls passed by his classroom and felt the sudden rise of hormones from his fellow male classmates, he quickly fled the classroom and the insanity that’ll surely follow. Even when he’s finally out of the building, he swore he could hear the girls’ screams from being hounded by hormonal teenagers. Thank god he has a Y chromosome.
Walking aimlessly around the building, he turned for a corner and spotted a hilly side with an old oak tree far south from the building entrance. Advancing towards it, he then saw two shadows just beside the tree. He frowned and turned around, ready to leave when suddenly, a cake landed itself straight at the back of his head.
If the readers have guessed by now judging the many definitions regarding Chris’ personality, one would know that Chris never takes anything lightly, especially when the matters are directed at him. So obviously, when a cake-strawberry shortcake to be specific-hit him on the side of his head when he turned around, the least he could do was beat the living lights out of whoever did it. It’s okay if he was hit on the face, because that could give him an excuse to murder, but with his back turned? Oh no, definitely no. There’s completely no chance for anyone to be able to get away from his wrath unscathed.
It was no surprise for Chris to be attacked by anyone, true. He had a bruise on his right muscled arm to prove that, courtesy of a senior who’s spending a week in the hospital.
Ready to murder the pour soul, Chris slowly turned around to face the hill and its old oak tree. Instead of seeing ugly seniors with popping acnes, he saw two slim figures that made his eyebrow twitch. Surely it’s impossible for anyone this beautiful unnoticed by rabid teenage boys in the middle of St. White’s Day, right? It’s simply inhumane.
And damn illegal to make Chris’ eyebrow twitch.
By all means, Chris is no ordinary guy. Unlike normal boys who tend to get boners at the sight of naked women with breasts twice the size of an average human brain, Chris doesn’t. No one can get any reaction from Chris other than a quirked eyebrow and a ‘What?’ followed by a ‘Don’t know, it’s normal for you losers to be perverts.’ Zide would always tell him how scary Chris could get in such circumstances until it wasn’t a big deal anymore.
So when Chris was presented with the sight of two very beautiful sophomores, one glaring and the other looking apologetic, it’s a shame to his manly pride to blink at them and have an eyebrow twitch. These two girls definitely did not meet his expectations. It made him so out of character that he unconsciously stepped back an inch when the girl with the apologetic look approached him. Chris had took the liberty to study her looks; she’s probably Asian, judging from the peach colored skin, brown eyes and dark brown hair. Her lips, oh dear god, her lips. So pink and…
“Stop, Chris Balteisse, stop. You’re world’s number one jerk, and jerks don’t say ‘Oh dear God’ even if it gets to make your bestfriend piss his pants, and you definitely do not need to accept Phantom’s invitation to his show.” Was the internal monologue going on inside Chris’ head, a bad habit he acquired since young after being stuck living with monks for years.
Then the girl disappeared from his line of sight. He watched her skidded slowly down from the hill top, how she hold out both of her hands balancing herself. Seconds later she’s already standing in front of him, smiling at his stupor. It would be an understatement to say that Chris was caught surprised, especially when he didn’t bother wiping off the remnants of cake on the side of his head.
So caught off guard he was that he didn’t even caught the girl’s words. He wasn’t even certain if the girl was dissing him, calling him stupid or simply apologizing. One thing he was sure of was that this girl had just struck a cord inside of him. Again with the twitching eyebrow.
Acting on impulse, (hey, he did see her raising a hand) he hit the girl at her temple with his palm without blinking, sending her crashing to the ground. The moment the girl landed on the grass with a cry, his face got connected with a hard fist it broke his nose.
“Fuck!”
The following seconds were spent trying to beat the hell out of each other as much as they could with a living wall struggling between them, trying to detach their fists from each other’s face.
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!”
“Shit, bitch!”
“Cut it out! Both of you!”
Chris quickly drew back from the pair while the other one, the girl who had punched him was still struggling against the hold of the girl he had hit. Chris noted the girl’s high ponytail with an ugly orange hair tie keeping brown hairs with blonde highlights together. Who the hell uses orange hair tie?
“He freaking hit you!”
Oh, her alright. No surprise anymore, since he noticed that her shoes are orange sneakers.
“And he has a reason to!”
With yellow linings, oh my god.
“But he’s a guy!”
Zide is really going to need to bring extra pants next time.
Bracing his bleeding nose, Chris absently sent it back to its right proportion, wincing at the pain. In front of him, the two girls were still bickering.
“Are you defending that fag?!”
“I’m not!”
Chris frowned at them. Nope, these two are definitely not any normal humans. And no, he’s not a fag. Zide might be, since he’s such a pussy but then again, he’s stuck in his libido named Catherine O’hana. Still.
“Oi.” He interrupted the two. Both quickly turned to look at him, one with an apologetic face while the other… well, he don’t know how he could call that a face but he was certain the other girl, the one with a glaring look and orange hair tie (Insert a WTF from Chris), was seething at him. And it took all of his manpower to keep himself from smacking the apologetic girl’s mouth shut, since she decided to apologize at him the moment he calmed down.
“I’m very sorry for hitting you with the cake. I was supposed to be throwing it at my cousin,” she pointed a finger at the seething girl beside her-yes, she’s still seething at him. “But I didn’t know that it would fly past her and hit you and I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh, please forgive me!” She bowed at him apologetically. He dully noted the annoyed twitch coming from the girl’s cousin (the one with the orange hair tie), much less the time spent in apologizing. For the record, it barely took her five seconds to finish it all. As if using the ‘Oh my gosh’ wasn’t enough to twitch his eyebrow in annoyance. (Chris made a mental note to mark this day as the day his eyebrow surprised him the most.)
Then unknowingly, Chris was pulled to study her in a much detailed way. He stared at her slanted, almost almond shaped eyes, so doe-like in such a brown hue he had never seen before. In fact, everything about her seems to be brown. Her hair band is brown, matching the dark brown of her hair. Too bad it didn’t bring out the brownness of her eyes. Unlike her cousin (Chris still can’t believe they’re related by blood, up to now) who’s so easily riled up and just so physically violent, this girl in front of him isn’t. He could almost feel the warm, home-sweet-home vibes oozing from her pores. Then when she tilted her head to the side, blinking at him (Oh, shit, those eyes are killing him!), silently inquiring him what’s wrong (Chris still doesn’t know he’s gaping and his eyes are so wide Zide can go and kiss his Life Pad goodbye), Chris lost his balance and just stumbled back, falling flat on his ass. Chris swore that although said nameless, sweet and oh-so-innocent girl is unaware of it, her cousin (which Chris won’t deny is a spawn of the devil) sent him The Evil Eye, promising him a death as inhumane as she can think of. Chris could almost feel the murderous aura coming from the cousin. And somehow, there’s something about these two that seemed familiar.
“Shit.”
“Huh?”
“Hoh!”
The spawn of the devil suddenly grinned down at him with an evil gleam in her eyes. Chris could swear he saw a diamond dust twinkling. Damn his luck for catching a meeting with thise ugly spawn of the damn devil.
Chris was glad when the girl, his dearest Fair Maiden (damn, why must she be so sweet and innocent?!) suddenly whipped her head to the side to direct a stare at her cousin. It saved him from embarrassing himself further in front of the girl, since he had suddenly pointed a shaky finger at the cousin. The cousin only smirked at him, while ignoring the stare the other girl is giving her.
“You!”
Chris nearly cringed on how pansy his voice sounded like. No wonder he clicks with Zide. They match.
“Who?”
The ugly spawn of devil pointed a finger at herself, still grinning that it made Chris gritting like mad. “Me.” She said triumphantly. Her cousin only blinked at her then at Chris then tilted her head in confusion.
Then Chris decided that it’s Time’s Up for him to act like some pansy, shitless idiot and face the monstrosity in front of him like a brave man (and save the damsel in distress along the way).
Of course he knows this girl with the ugly orange hair tie! This girl is the very epitome of evil that walks the land of God’s Creation! She’s the spawn of the devil! She’s the leviathan, the behemoth, the freaking humanoid Godzilla! Chris can’t believe he had forgotten that this very vicious and vile creature is actually an accomplice of the one and only Krista Eldens, world’s most horrible, ugliest and bitchiest hag ever!
“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!”
And Chris happens to be the world’s unluckiest jerk to face such monster in a non-public holiday.
“Oh my…”
“Cous, may I kill him for putting colors on our bland dictionary?”
“I don’t know…”
“God damn it, SHIT!”
Chris really tried. He really did. He had poured every ounce of his effort not to swear any further in front of his fair lady (Oh, boy. If Zide hears him saying those two words, he’s not only going to piss in his pants, he’s gonna faint like a girl) but it’s just that it’s so damn, freaking hard to digest the fact that he had caught up in the wire strings of this vicious criminal. And the fact that in a flash, said vicious criminal disappeared only to reappear again, now in just a few inches away from him, introducing the blunt metal butt of a tonfa to his face.
“Eat this, jerkwad!”
Before Chris could even yell a “Fuck!” he was already flying backwards, jaw so much in pain he couldn’t continue his twitching.
Now things are beginning to clear inside Chris’ head. It’s probably because of the hit, hitting him squarely on his left jaw. The force of the attack had him skidding back more than three yards before his footing had lost its hold on the ground. When he was able to regain control of the momentum, he’s already back on his ass, the back of a hand wiping a thin trail of blood on the corner his lips. No wonder she’s in Krista’s gang. She’s probably an officer of the martial arts club, if she’s this good.
“You…”
“Heh. Wanna fight?” The horrible she-devil smirked again, looking down at him with such arrogance Chris wanted to spring up and give her a punch of his own. But then he remembered that he barely brought a single weapon with him today, since he thought the seniors would be too busy with the girls to bother him.
“Just my damn luck.” Chris muttered to himself and pushed himself up to his knees.
Behind her, the shy and timid girl made to grab her cousin’s arm but was quickly pushed back. Chris only glared back at her.
“Figures not. Well then, if you would like to regain some sort of masculinity, or at least admit that you have a shred of pride left after being beaten by a girl in just one hit, go and visit me in our club meeting tomorrow, after fourth period. You already know who I am anyway, judging from that look,” The tonfa she’s wielding disappeared in another flash as his fair lady (He… obviously can’t help but call her his fair lady) watched them both with flickering, worried eyes. “The name’s Jennifer Anaheim, tonfa-specialist of the Shinsengumi. Come and duel with me if you think you’re up to it. Honestly though, you deserved the beating for hitting a girl.” Then she turned and left, probably walking back to the hill.
Resentment and anger began to pool up inside of him (because honestly, when did hitting a girl become illegal?), but when his dear fair lady approached him with a smile so warm it melted his heart, Chris looked up at her and blushed. If Zide sees him like this, the guy would probably pull out of the soccer team and declare Chris to be high on crack. But Chris didn’t care anymore if he’s acting way out of character, because said girl had just extended a hand for him to take, her eyes closing as she smiled at him brightly. Chris nearly forgot to breathe.
“I’m Hilda Kremilhade of class II-Δ. I apologize for my cousin’s attitude.”
Chris grunted an ‘Hn’ before looking back to stare at the hand, trying to stay nonchalant while his inner being is doing a rather obnoxious victory dance. It’s very pleasing to the eyes, and Chris wondered vaguely if it’s soft to the touch. ‘No harm in doing, right? After all, it’s only polite to take whatever she offers.’ Says the radical part of his brain, but then Chris grunted again to make it go away. But when he saw that beautiful smile Hilda is giving him again, Chris lost it. And thus, he accepted Hilda’s hand and pulled himself up (he’s only half surprised the girl didn’t falter from her stand when he did pull, considering who her cousin is), muttering a soft ‘Thanks’.
“The name’s Chris. Chris Balteisse, class II-Α.”
Chris quirked an eyebrow at the girl when she blinked at him, her mouth forming an O-shaped as if in awe.
“You’re… in class Alpha? Then does that mean that…”
“Not really. I don’t even know how I ended up in the Honor class.”
Hilda giggled softly. Chris found himself smiling a little at the sight. They would have resembled something of a sweet couple who had just finished the process between two young lovers during White Day, if it wasn’t for the sudden gasp Hilda made, and Chris’ twitch of an eyebrow when he remembered something so out of place.
He still has cake remains on the side of his face. He ended up smacking Hilda on the back of her head when she started fussing over him again.
[xxx]
After the much chaotic first break they had, which took up nearly half an hour after their second period, Chris went back to his class and found Zide sprawled across his desk, head covered with an opened Biology textbook. Frowning at the sight, he removed the book and flipped it close before kicking the legs of the desk, waking the other boy up. When Zide didn’t do much to yell or swear at him for kicking table, Chris got the message very well.
“She didn’t, did she?”
After a long silence, Zide pulled his face away from the table and looked with a dull gaze at the blackboard. “No.”
Chris sighed. Sometimes, he just can’t believe how Zide was able to attract himself an entire fanclub when he could barely introduce himself to his crush since elementary. “How many more years are you going to stay pathetic and celibate?” Chris asked him sarcastically, drawing out his own chair. Zide only gave him the finger before going back slumping his face on his desk, face so pale those shadows underneath his eyes are nearly black. He looked like a very malnourished panda, Chris thought. Sighing again, he drew out a notebook from his bag, checking its green cover. (“Always use green cover for Biology,” Elder You Te, Chris monk teacher from the temple had once told him “It’s motivating, like tea during spa.”) Zide only looked at him without turning his head, bored to death.
“Chris, go out with me tonight.”
“And then what? Proclaim myself to the world that I’m gay and going out with the world’s biggest pansy? No, thank you. I’d rather go out with that Eldens bitch than you.”
“Bastard, I just need someone to go with for a drink. ‘sides, you just turned sixteen last April, right? We can go and get ourselves drunk in Club Sion then.”
Chris only gave him a cold look, but then it withered when Zide started pouting on him. “Fine, but I have some fight tomorrow, so no alcohol for me.”
Now that caught Zide’s attention-the fight.
He quickly sat up straight, now very awake and alert, and gave Chris a look that clearly speaks, “WTH? FESS UP!” But Chris only shrugged and opened his notebook while taking out a pen from his pocket. For someone like Chris, it seems like landing a fight with one of the Shinsengumi officers is a normal thing happening on a daily basis. To Zide and the rest of the people in the entire world, it’s completely insane and suicidal. The way Zide’s jaw was hanging quite loosely would be an understatement to what he’s thinking. If he can still think after Chris told him everything about his encounter with Jennifer Anaheim of the Shinsengumi, the Disciplinary Committee.
“Chris Balteisse, do you have any idea about what you’re talking about?”
Chris shrugged again. Really, he has no idea on why Zide suddenly sounds so worried about him when he’s supposed to be worried about his own lovelife.
“What’s with you anyway? It’s just the Shinsengumi, a bunch of girls who likes doing some martial art craps-MMPH!” If it wasn’t for his hands busily prying off Zide’s hands over his mouth, Chris would have punched the guy in the groin. Yes, punch him in his dick.
“Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou, you jerkwad! Those girls beat anyone into a bloody pulp! They’re dangerous and don’t give a damn if you bleed to death, because they admins' support!”
Even if Zide hissed at him so much like a pansy (which he still is, Chris believes), it did nothing to remove those sweaty palms pressing themselves against his lips. Chris would have blanched and puke out his entrails if he ever get to taste how sweaty those palms are.
After struggling even more, Chris was finally able to save his face from being smothered even more by Zide’s hands. The moment he was able to get those hands away, he turned in a swift move and kicked Zide right on his patella, which sent the other howling in pain and ended up smacking Chris upside the head.
“Fuck!”
“Damnshit!”
“Damn it, my head!”
“Head, my ass you fucktard! You hit my fucking kneecap!”
“Boys! Class is about to start! Double detention for the two of you! Always swearing, even in class! Shame on you!”
Mr. Kingston was already in the platform, holding the roll call list while glaring down at both Chris and Zide. But the two best friends only ignored the teacher and continue having their smite-o-glare contest, staring each other down.
“Chris, I swear if you start beating those girls, much less get beaten by the girls, I ain’t going 10 feet near you, ya hear?!”
“Well, fuck you, pansy. I ain’t letting go of a fight, especially if I get to pummel that bitch down for beating me with a fucking baton!”
“BOYS! DETENTION!”
“SHUT UP, YOU OLD CRAP!”
Suffice to say, both best friends were sent to the guidance counselor in a flash by a fuming Mr. Kingston. Indeed, only the two best friends have the gall to yell at a teacher in such manner and get away with it. Not that they encourage other students to be like the two idiots but oh well. At least no one tries to challenge both boys’ positions in the campus.
[xxx]
“Crap, crap, crap…”
“My old man is gonna scream at me again when he gets a roll of this…”
“Well, I bet ya a hundred bucks my grandma is probably dead by now. She always gets heart attacks whenever the school calls her about me…”
“I feel for you, man. I feel for you.”
“You better be, you moron.”
Both sighed together. Staring at the tiled ceiling of a classroom usually reserved for detention is definitely boring. Both boys had already counted the number of tiles since their first day here, which was exactly the first day of their first year. In fact, that was when they had met each other and became friends. Though the two boys are quite happy that they had gotten into a detention in the first place, since they get to meet each other and become best of friends, it doesn’t mean they actually like spending their time, considering that ‘spending time in detention’ is equal to ‘stare at the ceiling and count the tiles around you’. You see, there’s a huge and mighty difference between going to a detention and spending a detention. When you go to a detention, you get to meet a new friend, which was both boys’ case. But once you spend that detention time… well, it’s as boring as grilling barbeque is.
“Chris, I’m bored. Will you jack off in front of me to entertain me?”
“Sorry, I just jacked off this morning. Why don’t you striptease for me? You can use that mop over there as your pole.”
“Nah, striptease requires too much energy and that mop is too short. Do you think we can call hookers from here?”
“If you count Ms. Irise as a hooker then yeah, I suppose.”
“I don’t think she’s a hooker, man. She’s… too flat chested.”
“How ‘bout that new Chemistry teacher? You know, the one with the J.Lo ass.”
“Chris Balteisse, are you blind or daft?”
“Both, I suppose. What about you?”
“Me? Oh, I just suffer a bit of erectile dysfunction and the usual cyclothymia.”
Chris snorted for no apparent reason while Zide yawned. “Bullcrap.” They both muttered together, before breaking into a short, hearty laugh. That entire conversation above was just something they always do whenever they’re bored. It also served as a moment for them to relax and reconnect, to remind each other that the other is still around, to fill in stories the other had missed. Whoever dares to listen to them talking like that and actually tries to look for the real meaning is a real idiot and doesn’t have anything to do with life. One freshman had once tried to eavesdrop between them talking during one detention, (actually, the kid didn’t have to eavesdrop since he’s in the same room, and it’s not like he can actually leave the room and paste his ear to the door to listen to them drone on) he ended up with an exploding head while screaming and running around like a mad, headless chicken. So in short, every word they share with each other during detentions is utter and complete bullcrap, because one has to know Chris isn’t the right person to talk to when it comes to lesbian orgies or home shopping channels. And Zide ain’t quite the right choice to talk to when it comes to something and anything related to their school.
“Hey, Zide.”
“Hmm?”
Chris went back to staring at the ceiling. He had somehow found it suddenly interesting than the graffiti-vandalized blackboard.
“There’s something I didn’t mention about my run-in with that Anaheim bitch.”
“What? She’s a flat-chest too like Eldens?”
“No. Dude, she’s double D-cup. And we both agreed that Eldens is a triple D.”
“Keyword, my friend: Agreed.”
“Yeah, but heck. There’s someone else with her, you see.”
Zide turned away from the ceiling then at the blackboard then at Chris, who, for the second time in both of their lives, looked so pensive. The first time Zide had seen Chris like this, so deep in thought, was when Chris told him about his past in some abandoned temple in China, living his life together with monks.
“And who’s this person you’re talking about?”
Chris shrugged. He’s not sure himself what he should call this person either. Sure, she’s nice, kind and gentle. Very forgiving and humble too.
“She’s this girl who I find very boring to look at, not a hot chick at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.”
“The ugly duckling, then?”
“Sort of.”
“Figures you’ll be the type who falls for the ugly ducklings.”
Chris turned his focus on the blackboard away to glare at Zide.
“Hey, at least I’m not the hotshot who falls for the campus’ prettiest chick, only to be ignored since I can’t find a single nerve cell in my body to fucking introduce myself.”
“Touché.” Zide muttered, giving Chris the finger again.
Silence took over once again between the two of them as the clock ticks, each second becoming a minute after a round. Five minutes passed, Zide began tapping his pen against the desk while Chris started counting the tiles on the floor. By the time Zide reached his 293rd tap and Chris finished counting the tiles (there were 167 of them), Chris picked up from where he left.
“The thing is, Zide, she’s… well, you know.”
“I know what? Chris, I ain’t telepathic nor all-knowing.”
“Well…” Chris paused for a while, looking for the right words. “She’s the typical kind of woman who you would go for while remaining celibate until she gives the go sign.”
“Ah, she’s the one then?”
“Yeah… God, I can’t believe this is happening to me. Am I turning into a sappy, old man?”
“Oh, not at all. Don’t worry, the day you started talking to me about girly stuffs, not to mention using that ‘Oh, God!’ thing is the day I realized I’m actually a piece of shit for not having enough bladders to actually introduce myself to Catherine.”
“It’s gall, Zide. Not gull bladder.”
Zide shrugged anyway, before giving Chris the pointed look. And before anyone starts to wonder, most of the reason that these two go to detention is to actually talk about something privately, from family problems to plans for revenge against upperclassmen. So when they both suddenly landed themselves into a detention in the middle of a quiz, or worse, lunch time, then it’s because they need to have one of The Talks. It just so happens that the chief guidance counselor decided to spare an entire classroom just for them ever since the incident with that poor kid they shared detention time with.
“So who’s this fair lady you suddenly decide to rescue from the vicious Godzilla?”
“Hilda Kremilhade of Class II-Δ. Ring a bell?”
Zide’s pointed look widened until he’s finally gaping at Chris again. Chris only glared and frowned at him, prodding with the tip of his shoe at his friend to answer. After kicking aside the pointy shoe, Zide returned Chris’ frown and gave him a version of his own.
“Dude, you’re completely nuts,” Chris’ eyebrow twitched a little when Zide jabbed a finger at him. “Forget about The One or the Fair Maiden crap. This girl spells trouble. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Get me?”
“What makes you say that?”
Zide sighed at him, but turned back looking all serious again, as if they’re discussing the political execution of Mussolini.
“She’s the freaking cousin of that Anaheim bitch, and a really close friend of Eldens. Not only that, this girl… just… Dude! She’s BIG! She’s deadly obsessed with TEACUPS. How scary is that?!”
“As scary as your ass can get?”
“Fuck you, Chris! My ass ain’t scary!”
“You wish, pansy. You’ve never seen your ass.”
“You make it sound like you have.”
“I had, moron. That’s why I said it’s scary.”
The two fell quiet abruptly. Chris was still frowning. It clearly disturbs that Chris a lot to hear Zide warning him about a not-pleasing-to-the-sight girl as if she’s a monster worse than Godzilla. She’s really nice to him this morning. She even smiled at him and offered her freaking hand to help him up. Sure, it may be because she had accidentally hit him in the head with a cake, but still, she apologized profusely and tried to keep her cousin from beating him to a pulp, right? And she freaking offered her fair maiden hand to him! Him, of all people! Him! Chris Balteisse! Niebel High’s number one delinquent with the worst temper! It’s impossible for her not to know him! And even if she does know him, she didn’t cower in fear, not even after hitting her out of spite! For the monster, the ugly beast to fall in love with the fair maiden, the beauty, it’s a match made in heaven! It’s destiny! THIS is DESTINY!
“Chris Balteisse, if you start going on in your inner monologue sounding like the gay jerkwad I know you are, I’m going to kick your ass this instance.”
Shut up, Zide. Chris isn’t done yet with his inner monologue. It’s inevitable for him to heed his best friend’s warning, not even when it’s about how ugly and flat-chested his fair maiden will be! And besides, if his fair maiden ended up to be someone with a buxom, voluptuous woman, Chris might end up exploding in the end. So it’s very clear that this fair maiden, his fair lady, is indeed chosen and given to him by the God himself! Oh, he shall never give up indeed to-
“OHMYFUCKINGDAMNGOD!”
“Sorry, I was aiming for the ass. I swear I didn’t hit your balls on purpose.”
By the time the guidance counselor had opened the door to the detention classroom’s door, he was surprised… no, he was scared shitless beyond recognition when he saw the state of the classroom and both boys inside. In the end, he had decided to leave the two to themselves and leave the classroom altogether for the sake of his health; the insurance had already terminated his health insurance after ten straight visits. Hopefully enough, once dinner calls for the two to come out and go home, they’ll stop by themselves and actually listen to the heeds of their stomach and thus, leave the school to peace.
It should be clear by now for everyone that all staff members of Niebel High want nothing more but peace to return to the campus, or at least these two students sedated and unable to cause troubles that just can’t sound possible for a teenager to do. Those two alone had sent more than three teachers wheezing and unconsciousness to the hospital-or worse, grave.
[xxx]
It was already a quarter to six in the evening when Chris and Zide left the school, a bit curious why the guidance counselor didn’t come to get them out, much less actually leaving the door open for them during the entire duration of the detention. (Zide kept on insisting that when he tried to open the door, it was locked. Chris only called him an idiot for trying to open a door in the opposite direction.)
Only a few students were left behind in the campus, some standing by while mostly belong to a club or the Council. It’s quite easy to pick them up actually, since the Council members always wear this red band on their left arm. Members of Shinsengumi, however, wear a blue band on their right arm.
Chris only picked up the details when two Shinsengumi members walking beside a Council member walked past them. He kept on staring at them, even when they had walked past that Zide had to stop mid-step just to pull the other back to focus.
“Stop staring, would ya? You know they’ll pick on anyone if they could.”
“Yeah, but it’s just weird,” Chris pointed at the two Shinsengumi members then at the Council one. “Why do they always act like some bodyguards to those dipshits?”
Zide sighed. It’ll take more than a century for Chris to actually talk with respect for someone who demands it. “That’s because the Shinsengumi is also the Disciplinary Committee. Of course they work hand in hand with the Council. The Council can’t raise a hand on the students, but the Disciplinary committee can that’s why they’re always together.”
“Bullshit.”
“Whatever.”
Zide went back to walking ahead of Chris, but the latter didn’t turn his gaze away from the three executive students. It just sounds stupid to hear all those craps. He hates to admit it though; he did feel a certain chilly vibe that made him freeze and bow his gaze away when they passed by.
Before they walk past the school gates, Chris was even more determined to bring both Shinsengumi and the Council down, even if it means dying along the way all because of what they made him feel.
“I told dad not to pick me up tonight, so I guess we can just walk our way home and spend the night out in Club Sion.”
Chris only nodded. Together, they headed for the subway and took the train heading for Boswell Street. After a few more crossing of streets and turning of blocks, they could finally see the stairs on the side of the sidewalk leading down to a small, homely hallway then the trademarked mosaic double doors of Club Sion. They took down the flight of stairs and showed the guard their Patron cards. Club Sion is an atypical club that only serves selected costumers of all ages, called Patrons. All Patrons have to be registered as members of the club, and it’s not easy at all to become a Patron of Club Sion. After all, everything is by invitation only; only a Patron can invite another person to be a Patron, that’s why most of the Patrons of Club Sion are either completely wealthy or powerful and politicians, most of them acquainted to each other.
Zide, being the son of a wealthy business man, was given to have a Patron card ever since his father first brought him to the club. Chris only got one after he met Zide and became his friend. Ever since then, they would always frequent the club whenever they feel like hanging out. According to Zide, only sore losers would go and hang out in some shady, night clubs or karaoke stops. They, being the ‘cool dudes’ they are, have to hang out in classy, private and quiet clubs like Club Sion. Unlike those disco bars, Club Sion’s form of musical entertainment is a piano companied by either cello or violin, and occasionally, saxophone or flute. Chris didn’t bother to argue any further, since he didn’t want to hurt Zide’s little pride that the latter happens to be a sore loser. Only sore losers wouldn’t have the nerve cell to introduce themselves to their crush since elementary.
Entering the ambience-rich club, both boys settled down in their selected stools in front of the bar. The bartender only gave them a curt nod before going to the other side to mix their drinks.
“Spike mine, please.” Zide said softly, and the bartender nodded back in reply. Even if Club Sion’s bartenders only have one shift every week, the boys have been frequenting Club Sion far too many times that they already know all six bartenders by heart.
“The usual blend then, sir?”
“Ah.” Chris muttered. They both went back to their shared silence, disturbed only by the bartender, Harley, with their drinks. After finishing a quarter of his, Zide turned and inspected Chris’ pensive look. It was the first time Chris had looked so pensive twice in a day.
“Is it…” Chris looked up, eyebrows raised. “Really that bothersome?”
“Which one?”
Zide shrugged. The piano piece begins to play in the background, adding even more warmth into the club’s ambience and somehow, the ambience melted Chris’ heart, making him even mellower. He didn’t even feel like being sarcastic with Zide. Instead, he felt like being more honest. Not that he lie to Zide. Heck, Zide’s the only person he had always been honest to. He just… felt like being a bit more honest than the usual.
“Falling in love.” Zide finished succinctly in a very soft voice Chris had to lean over to make sure he heard the right thing. Zide only felt quiet when Chris quirked an eyebrow at him, silently asking him what brought the question up. Zide only sent him a look that said, “Nothing. Nevermind.” But Chris, being Chris, didn’t let it go and instead, prodded him even further.
“What is it to you if I am falling in love and somehow getting myself a girlfriend?” He asked cautiously. Chris had been very aware that unlike what other people perceive, Zide is much more sensitive than he lets other believe. He’s really sensitive to the bone, actually. It’s only his will to be with Chris, to remain friends with him that made Zide so insensitive with what others think, because Chris knew that unlike others, Zide never lets go of a person who he sees to be the one for him. That’s why no matter how bumpy or muddy the road they had walked together, they’re still beside each other. Other times, it would be Chris in front, other times it would be Zide in front. But always, always, at the end of the road, they would be beside each other, equal to each other, so equal that they understand each other without uttering a word. Things had always been like that between them, which is probably why Chris felt the first wave of trepidation coming from Zide.
His best friend is afraid that once Chris gets himself a girlfriend, or in their ‘homely-man’ term, ‘settle down’, he would be forgotten and thrown away into a corner, because Chris finally has no need for him. And somehow, Chris has a feeling that the only plausible reason Zide has for not introducing himself to Catherine O’hana was because he didn’t want to choose between their friendship (frankly, they only have each other as friends) and a serious relationship with the girl in the near future.
And at times like this, Chris had to admit that Zide can be too smart he ended up being stupid in the end.
“…you know.”
Chris blinked. Zide caught it then glared at him, narrowed eyes silently berating him for being a jerk. Chris had been too caught up with his inner monologue again he ended up ignoring Zide talking. But Chris was surprised when Zide only sighed at him, instead of yelling or physically abusing him like he usually does. It must’ve been because of the club’s atmosphere.
“For pity’s sake, I’ll say it again,” Chris’ nod must have been too out of character, since Zide gave him a look near ‘You really are a retard’. “We’ve been like, the best of friends since we first met, right?” Chris nodded, sipping silently from his drink. “And we both know that you’re my first real friend, and the same goes for you,” Chris nodded again, setting down his drink without taking his sight away from Zide. “And you’ve probably already guessed by now that I’d rather not have a girlfriend than lose you, right?” Yes, Chris had already figured that one out ever since Zide first hinted it to him.
“It’s…” Bar stool scraped slightly against marble tiled floors as Chris shifted in his seat to gaze squarely at Zide who’s biting his bottom him in frustration. It had been one of the other boy’s habits that Chris can’t help but find endearing albeit cute.
“It’s just that… it’s not like I’m asking you not to have a girlfriend, since I know I’m really not on top of your list,” Stupid Zide. Always so stupid, always putting himself second before others. “And I know I don’t have any right at all to tell you not to go near that girl but it’s just that… I…” Stupid Zide, always so stupid, always so blind to everything he had failed to notice he’s already crying. Chris had to bite the insides of his cheeks not to smack the other senseless. Instead, he settled on another option, an option that came purely out of instinct, or maybe, his subconscious mind. It may have been weird at first, considering the look Zide suddenly gave him (it is a first for Chris to touch the other without any murderous intent) but Chris is sure he didn’t regret laying a hand on Zide’s shoulder before cupping the younger boy’s cheek. Zide stared at Chris for a second, then another, then another until finally he just let everything go and jumped and hugged Chris for all his worth (Chris bit back the wince of hearing metal scratching against marble rather ear-splittingly) and Chris returned the hug even if he knows he’ll end up pounding the other to death for wetting his uniform.
“I-hic-d-don’t want,” Another hic then a sob. “to l-lose you-” Chris patted the other’s back while stroking those black locks calmly, trying to soothe the other. But somehow, Zide’s too far away now to hear those sweet nothings Chris is whispering to his shivering form. It was at one of these moments that Chris noticed Zide is such a frail boy, so lithe in comparison to his.
One good thing about Club Sion is that other Patrons respect the privacy of other Patrons, and Chris is truly grateful that no one dares to turn a head and stare at them rudely.
It took them both some time, though more on Zide to settle down properly in their seats since he didn’t feel like letting go at all. When Zide had finally released his tight hold on Chris and pulled away, they both found themselves smiling like some dorks who got their first ice creams. Then they chuckled before laughing at each other softly. Even the bartender and the other Patrons ended up smiling at them warmly.
Without a word, they left a tip for the bartender then left the club, intent on going home and getting ready for the next day. After all, the following day would be the day Chris will accept Anaheim’s challenge and prove himself worthy to his fair maiden, and Zide would be beside him cheering him on like he always does.
And Chris knew that once tomorrow comes, everything between him and Zide would never be the same ever again, because they had finally crossed that boundary and broke that wall because he was finally able to hold his best friend’s hand without holding back anything, without any unwanted feelings. And he didn’t let go of Zide’s hand at all during the entire walk home, not even when they both settled down inside their own homes and retired for the night.
If living fourteen years without a real friend will lead him to this, then Chris is more than happy that he had waited. He’s even happier that he got himself into detention on his first day at school a year ago for punching the Council president during welcoming ceremony.
>>Part 2