[Orig] Charlie and the Quirky Flat
A/N: A short story, for Mirage. Prompt is apartment life. This is a very literal take, about Charlie, a very bland guy who moved to a new flat that happens to be shared with a bunch of wackos.
And yes, all these people are very much real. And yes, it's written in a very elementary style, because Charlie is a very simple bloke who needs to buy himself a new pair of pants
---
Charlie and the Quirky Flat
A short story for Mirage
Charlie didn't like moving in to a new flat. Then again, it's not like he had much of a choice; his previous landlord was a complete madman, although he's a very far cry from his new landlady. She looked like a witch, complete with the hag laugh. She reminded him very much of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Looking up, he stared at the bright neon sign of St. Jeremy's Dorm. He should be scared, Charlie thought upon arrival, because for one, he didn't think there's actually a saint that goes by that name, two being that pair of strange blokes just outside the flat's porch, one hand inside the other's trousers. He couldn't see clearly, and it might just be his eyes playing tricks on him, but he didn't want to know any more just what that hand was truly fishing for.
With a loud huff, Charlie trudged into the building, two large bags and one small bag over his shoulder. He managed to find his room only after stumbling into three and a half wrong tries. Oddly enough, there were three doors and a smaller one, around the size of a dog house, that had the same door number, and there are no two doors arranged in the correct numerical order.
Charlie didn't like his new mandatory home, especially when his room mate happened to be a creepy nerd, complete with the nerdy glasses and the nerdy obsession with Star Trek.
“Hullo there,” nerdy boy greeted creepily, who Charlie later knew was Kevin. “You're new here,” Kevin continued as if it's the most shocking discovery of the decade. Five minutes and seven doors to the right after, Charlie learned Kevin was the best in stating the obvious, and that's the only thing he can do.
In one of those seven doors is Room 4 B's, so called because it belongs to Bernie, not Bernie and his room mate. Charlie didn't like Bernie much, even if Bernie is the only person in the entire establishment who keeps unexpired food. Maybe it's because Bernie likes labelling everything with “Bernie's”, including his lesser known room mate, Kelly, who happens to be a bloke with a peculiar name and even more peculiar taste in food. Unlike Bernie, Charlie likes Kelly though to a certain limit. Beyond that limit is Kelly's penchant of quoting his professors, not highly respected philosophers, whose reputation, knowledge and sanity Charlie highly doubted.
Before Charlie can truly settle down though, his room's door got knocked down by a whirlwind of red and blue that he later realized were two very identical albeit different beings. AS expected, every single place in the world has to have its own fair share of the Twins. The Twins introduced themselves as Patrick and Paul, named after world's saintly beings because of their saintly ways-not. Before they disappeared as fast as they had arrived, Charlie found himself missing a can of tuna and two deodorants, as well as facing a broken door. Kevin had to call Miss Stephanie the Landlady who lives in the west side of the building to call April the Maintenance to fix the door.
Minutes turned to hours and after three gruesome hours spent with Kevin talking endlessly about stuffs nerds talked about, Charlie finally admitted defeat and decided he will sleep even without his privacy.
The night wasn't his most memorable night nor was it even comforting. It's quite the contrary, in fact. It just so happened Lady Luck was smiling down on him the morning after as he woke up to a brand new door, a cold bowl of Fruit Loops and enough hot water for a good, long shower. Charlie was genuinely happy. Very much so indeed that he decided to be nice to Kevin and greet him with a bright sunny smile. Pity though that he didn't get to do it, as Bernie decided that morning to claim his room as his, Kevin's already claimed as Kevin is quite the pathetic bully-magnet. And that the Twins have stolen his newest and only pair of underpants.
Charlie didn't like his new home, even with Bernie knocked out and the Twins locked in their room. But at least he earned himself a smart but hypertensive butler and the biggest supply of unexpired food, courtesy of Kelly.
End
And yes, all these people are very much real. And yes, it's written in a very elementary style, because Charlie is a very simple bloke who needs to buy himself a new pair of pants
---
Charlie and the Quirky Flat
A short story for Mirage
Charlie didn't like moving in to a new flat. Then again, it's not like he had much of a choice; his previous landlord was a complete madman, although he's a very far cry from his new landlady. She looked like a witch, complete with the hag laugh. She reminded him very much of the Wicked Witch of the West.
Looking up, he stared at the bright neon sign of St. Jeremy's Dorm. He should be scared, Charlie thought upon arrival, because for one, he didn't think there's actually a saint that goes by that name, two being that pair of strange blokes just outside the flat's porch, one hand inside the other's trousers. He couldn't see clearly, and it might just be his eyes playing tricks on him, but he didn't want to know any more just what that hand was truly fishing for.
With a loud huff, Charlie trudged into the building, two large bags and one small bag over his shoulder. He managed to find his room only after stumbling into three and a half wrong tries. Oddly enough, there were three doors and a smaller one, around the size of a dog house, that had the same door number, and there are no two doors arranged in the correct numerical order.
Charlie didn't like his new mandatory home, especially when his room mate happened to be a creepy nerd, complete with the nerdy glasses and the nerdy obsession with Star Trek.
“Hullo there,” nerdy boy greeted creepily, who Charlie later knew was Kevin. “You're new here,” Kevin continued as if it's the most shocking discovery of the decade. Five minutes and seven doors to the right after, Charlie learned Kevin was the best in stating the obvious, and that's the only thing he can do.
In one of those seven doors is Room 4 B's, so called because it belongs to Bernie, not Bernie and his room mate. Charlie didn't like Bernie much, even if Bernie is the only person in the entire establishment who keeps unexpired food. Maybe it's because Bernie likes labelling everything with “Bernie's”, including his lesser known room mate, Kelly, who happens to be a bloke with a peculiar name and even more peculiar taste in food. Unlike Bernie, Charlie likes Kelly though to a certain limit. Beyond that limit is Kelly's penchant of quoting his professors, not highly respected philosophers, whose reputation, knowledge and sanity Charlie highly doubted.
Before Charlie can truly settle down though, his room's door got knocked down by a whirlwind of red and blue that he later realized were two very identical albeit different beings. AS expected, every single place in the world has to have its own fair share of the Twins. The Twins introduced themselves as Patrick and Paul, named after world's saintly beings because of their saintly ways-not. Before they disappeared as fast as they had arrived, Charlie found himself missing a can of tuna and two deodorants, as well as facing a broken door. Kevin had to call Miss Stephanie the Landlady who lives in the west side of the building to call April the Maintenance to fix the door.
Minutes turned to hours and after three gruesome hours spent with Kevin talking endlessly about stuffs nerds talked about, Charlie finally admitted defeat and decided he will sleep even without his privacy.
The night wasn't his most memorable night nor was it even comforting. It's quite the contrary, in fact. It just so happened Lady Luck was smiling down on him the morning after as he woke up to a brand new door, a cold bowl of Fruit Loops and enough hot water for a good, long shower. Charlie was genuinely happy. Very much so indeed that he decided to be nice to Kevin and greet him with a bright sunny smile. Pity though that he didn't get to do it, as Bernie decided that morning to claim his room as his, Kevin's already claimed as Kevin is quite the pathetic bully-magnet. And that the Twins have stolen his newest and only pair of underpants.
Charlie didn't like his new home, even with Bernie knocked out and the Twins locked in their room. But at least he earned himself a smart but hypertensive butler and the biggest supply of unexpired food, courtesy of Kelly.
End