I mean, I tried! Holly Black, and other names that escape me, but they just don't work.
So today, I finally figured out that the reason the fairy-based YA books don't appeal to me is because they're not Artemis Fowl.
I mean, it doesn't help that pretty much ALL of them seem to be all "mysterious fairy boy and human girl and destiny and magic and maybe looove" But at the heart of the matter, I can't stand anything to do with "glamours" and the "Unseelie Court" and all this stuff because that seems so froo-froo when it should be gun-toting elves with crew cuts and tinfoil-hat-wearing computer-genius centaurs and advanced technology and free-flowing sarcasm.
I'm in the middle of the fifth book (won't finish series before meeting EOIN COLFER tomorrow, alas!) and it's just happiness. It helps that the main humans are a 7-foot-tall Eurasian bodyguard with a sense of humor and deadly accuracy, and a 14-year-old supergenius who doesn't quite understand how normal people work.
(Butler was not fooled. Artemis Fowl rarely asked casual questions.
"Yes, that was Maria. You could tell because I used her name when I spoke to her. You don't usually ask so many questions about the limo driver. That's four in the past fifteen minutes. Will Maria be picking us up? Where do you think Maria is right now? How old do you think Maria is?"
Artemis rubbed his temples. "It's this blasted puberty, Butler. Every time I see a pretty girl, I waste valuable mind space thinking about her. [...] Nevertheless, I have to control it, Butler. I have things to do.")
(Can we have more characters like this? Please?)
Also, that name is apparently pronounced "Owen." Irish is weird.
I mean, it doesn't help that pretty much ALL of them seem to be all "mysterious fairy boy and human girl and destiny and magic and maybe looove" But at the heart of the matter, I can't stand anything to do with "glamours" and the "Unseelie Court" and all this stuff because that seems so froo-froo when it should be gun-toting elves with crew cuts and tinfoil-hat-wearing computer-genius centaurs and advanced technology and free-flowing sarcasm.
I'm in the middle of the fifth book (won't finish series before meeting EOIN COLFER tomorrow, alas!) and it's just happiness. It helps that the main humans are a 7-foot-tall Eurasian bodyguard with a sense of humor and deadly accuracy, and a 14-year-old supergenius who doesn't quite understand how normal people work.
(Butler was not fooled. Artemis Fowl rarely asked casual questions.
"Yes, that was Maria. You could tell because I used her name when I spoke to her. You don't usually ask so many questions about the limo driver. That's four in the past fifteen minutes. Will Maria be picking us up? Where do you think Maria is right now? How old do you think Maria is?"
Artemis rubbed his temples. "It's this blasted puberty, Butler. Every time I see a pretty girl, I waste valuable mind space thinking about her. [...] Nevertheless, I have to control it, Butler. I have things to do.")
(Can we have more characters like this? Please?)
Also, that name is apparently pronounced "Owen." Irish is weird.