Indecisive girl strikes

[selenay936]

Today wasn't wonderful, but it didn't totally suck. Yesterday wasn't great and wasn't terrible. I've lost the fiery, hateful urge that I had on Friday after sitting in traffic for two and a half hours

Comments

[selenay936]

*g* You can go psychobabble on me, hon, no problem. I know that some of the problems, where they're walking all over me, has been caused because I let them do it. I try to be too fair to them, I haven't worked out where the lines are between them asking for reasonable things from me and them asking for unreasonable and I'm not good at saying when I think they've gone to far because I'm worried that they'll fire me. Even though that's actually completely unreasonable.

Part of the problem is that Da Boss will ask for something unreasonable, then modify it to make me feel like he's trying to be helpful when he's in fact managed to make me do something that's outside the remit of my job and will still cause me massive inconvenience.

Last week he told me that the departmental director had attempted to request that I get in at 6.30am or 7am to run extra reports each Monday. He then said that he'd managed to get an agreement that this was ridiculous and instead could I get in for 7.30am or possibly a bit earlier? And like a mug I've said yes because at the time it felt like hey, he's actually tried to make sure that it's not insane. But I'm still going to need to leave the house at 6.15am so I now will be getting up at 5am on a Monday. It's hard to say no, though, when it feels like he's negotiated something special for me.

He says that I'll get to leave at 3.30pm rather than 4pm if I do this. I know that he's lying through his teeth - I'll be lucky to get out at 5pm.

I'm still finding it hard to actually get myself angry enough to quit, though.

[selenay936]

He's playing good cop/bad cop.

He does seem to be. I know that he's stay later in the office today, but I also know that he'll take that time later in the week by being a little late and taking some longer lunch hours. Today I got in at 7.30, worked until 4.30 without lunch and will still have to work through lunch tomorrow in order to leave thirty minutes early because today's extra won't have counted. That promise to let me go early today if I came in early unsurprisingly didn't materialise *sigh*

Sooner or later, however, you'll reach the boiling point.

It's definitely going to happen. It's already happened, except I had a bank holiday to think about it and calmed down. It's one of my big failings - given a little bit of time, I try to see things from every angle and end up forgiving everyone even if they're being bastards. Hopefully the next time I get that angry it will be the middle of the week and I'll actually have the guts to do something about. For now, I'm stuck being too nice to everyone and feeling guilty for even thinking about leaving.

But I *finally* have an interview set up, tomorrow.

{{{{hugs}}}} Good luck! Let me know how it goes, OK?